I want what I want

Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted. It's been a busy two months. I've been working a lot, and working on other stuff when I'm not in the hospital (there may be more on this later). The last few days, I've been holding out because I wanted to come back with something happy, rather than in-depth political analysis or a rant. So here it is.

I've been saying I want a relationship, or at least the start of one, for a while. I just haven't found a way to meet guys outside of the bar scene (softball in SD isn't what it is in SF). I've always prided myself on keeping "hook-ups" to people I'd be willing to date. Recently, I find I've been straying from even those minimal criteria, I think out of sheer frustration.

Recently, I had a third date. We had a nice brunch and got back to my place before 3:00. Both of us were feeling lazy, so we decided to watch something OnDemand. We ended up watching Friends With Money, Scary Movie 4, Little Miss Sunshine, an episode of Big Love, and 2 episodes of Sex and the City.

We didn't do anything but lie next to each other and kiss occasionally. And it was a hell of a lot better than most of the more "intimate" -- scratch that -- "physical" things I've done in a while. He left around 10:00, and I slept better than I have in ages.

I don't know how it will go with this guy -- nothing's ever simple, and my usual timing issues may be coming into play. But I'd been wanting something more towards a relationship for a while, without knowing if I was really ready, or if I'd even like it. Sort of like studying hard to get a job you've never done. Even if it doesn't work with this particular man, it's nice to have some evidence that if I ever get what I want, I'll like it.