An Appalling Lack of Creativity

We will now take a break from our normally scheduled vacation programming to discuss a recent event.

Barry Bonds just passed Babe Ruth on the career home run leader board. Sadly, both the Chronicle and the Examiner came up with the same headline.

One of my guilty pleasures is listening to talk radio. And not AirAmerica -- though I do that on occasion. I like to listen to right-wing, conservative, intolerant blowhards like Rush Limbaugh and Dr. Laura. I consider it my "liberal re-con"; you have to study the enemy to defeat him/her.

Rush has been babbling about the "drive-by" media, and how they are all in cahoots to slander the conservative movement. I never believed him, but the above may be evidence of collusion. Or, it may yet again point out the problem with using the cheap cheesy joke -- someone else will probably think of it. It's sad, because I think there were a number of better possibilities. Just a few from my brain:

The Abuser Passes the Boozer

Bonds "Clear"-ly "Creams" Ruth

Bonds Shoots Up Above Ruth

Bonds Injects Own Ass, Kicks Ruth's

Can You Spell Asterisk

Other headlines not specific for 715, but that should have been used at some point:

Babe's in Roid-land

PacBell/SBC/AT & T Park; The House That 'Roids Built

***Disclaimer: If you had any remaining questions, I believe that Barry Bonds used steroids. I also think McGwire and Sosa did. I also believe that Barry Bonds would have been a great player and a Hall of Famer without "performance enhancers". Using steroids was wrong, regardless of whether it was specifically against the rules or wheher he ever "tested positive". My feeling is that if Bonds had any class and respect for the history of the game, he would have quit before or after tying Ruth. There is no question that Ruth was a great player; there is also little question that he was an a--hole.

Aaron, on the other hand, is a different matter. He has been a great player, a great man, and a great ambassador for the game. My remaining hope is that sometime in the next 40 home runs, Bonds realizes that he will be remembered more fondly for retiring with Aaron's record intact than for bludgeoning it with a steroid laced maple sledgehammer.

755 forever. Or until A-Rod. Or Pujols (Pronounced Poo-holes, which I didn't notice until my friend's wife laughed when we said his name). Or Jones. (See Jacob Luft's column on cnn.com for arguments -- it's pretty good.)