This is NOT Medical Advice

Dr. Joel's Response to UCSD's Dress and Appearance Policy

2009-11-03T22:20:00.001-08:00

Yes...It's insanely long...

As an academic physician at UCSD, I was disappointed to see the proposed Dress and Appearance Policy, MCP 559.2. I generally support the goals of professionalism (including in appearance), improved patient care, and patient satisfaction. Unfortunately, I find the specifics of the proposed policy somewhat arbitrary and potentially discriminatory. I have detailed my concerns below. I realize that this may seem lengthy, but I feel this is a very complex topic, and concerns the core values of an academic medical center such as UCSD. I apologize for not giving input earlier – an email I received 10/22 was the first time I was aware that such a policy was being advanced to this extent. I admit this may have been my own oversight.

1) Regarding Professionalism

a) Multiple Professions. There are many definitions of professional/professionalism in the business and medical literature. Merriam-Webster defines professionalism as “the conducts, aims, or qualities that characterize or mark a profession or a professional person”. While we share a common goal of patient care, the policy as written would cover a wide variety of professions, including physicians, nurses, social workers, case managers, and janitorial staff, all with different characteristics. Such a broad policy is unlikely to optimize “professionalism” for all these employees.

b) Physician Professionalism. The term professionalism is used throughout the abstract and policy, but it is not defined, at least in this section. In definitions used in the medical field, attire is rarely addressed. The Medical Professionalism Project took great lengths to define medical professionalism, including 3 charter values (primacy of patient welfare, patient autonomy, and social justice) and ten commitments, none of which focus on dress or appearance. (Medical Professionalism in the New Millennium: A Physician Charter. Annals of Int Med. (2002). 136(3). pp. 243-246.)

i) This need not mean that dress and appearance cannot affect professionalism, but that they should be viewed through the various values and commitments. In a broad sense, whether dress and appearance are “professional” is best judged by how they affect the therapeutic relationship or represent a direct risk to patients – not by what “first impression” they make. It should also be noted that dress and appearance are not interchangeable, and the differentiation can be important.

ii) With regard to the therapeutic relationship, dress and appearance are both subjectively judged by the patient in question, and can be thought of together. Optimizing the therapeutic relationship allows few absolutes, as can be demonstrated by the variety in the UCSD patient population. Anecdotally, I have had patients pointedly wonder why I do not wear a tie, and others express that they felt comfortable with me because I wear jeans or earrings. Neither type of patient is more important than the other, and no rules should be made that slants appearance in one direction or the other. For fiscal reasons, it may be tempting to err on the side of the patient of a higher socio-economic status, a decision that would truly be unprofessional.

With regard to one reference noted by the human resources staff, (Am J Med. 2005 Nov;118(11):1279-86) it should be noted that the data collected was from an outpatient setting with a demographic and educational mix that may not accurately reflect the population of Hillcrest or La Jolla. Further, it was judged by viewing pictures that did not address many of the specifics of the proposed policy. Other studies have shown no effect of attire on patient satisfaction. (Am J Obs and Gyn. 2007 Feb; 196 (2): 186)

iii) Direct Risk

(1) With regard to specific impacts on direct risks, dress and appearance can be quite different. Dress, the actual clothing and accessories worn, can have a definable impact on patient risks and disease. Oddly, the policy is silent in some areas where more data exist, e.g., studies demonstrating that long sleeves, white coats, and neckties can carry bacteria. Though a defined link to patient outcomes is less clear, even the AMA has considered recommending against these articles of clothing. The portions of the dress policy that address statutory issues, e.g., ID badges, or other known risks, e.g., hair covering in food areas, may be data driven and likely appropriate. Sections that ban specific fabrics seem less so.

(2) Appearance does not have such a direct impact on health care as infectious risk. Rather, the health impact of appearance would be related to a patient’s subjective assessment of that appearance, and the effect that a negative feeling might have on a patient’s trust or satisfaction. Such effects may well impact health outcomes, but can be hard to quantify. These concerns are not to be neglected, but do represent a slippery slope toward discrimination (see next section). It is therefore appropriate to weigh such an effect against the judgments of other patients, the rights of workers, and the value of diversity and free expression.

2) Concerns for Discrimination

a) The concerns listed in the abstract regarding patient trust, confidence, and satisfaction are appropriate. Efforts should be made to address them, especially when such concerns are objective, data driven, or can be alleviated without impinging on other goals. What constitutes appropriate/professional dress and appearance, though, is subjective and variable, and often represents a summation of the patient’s life experience. Unfortunately, this may include implicit and explicit discrimination or bias.

i) For instance, would UCSD indulge a patient who demanded a Caucasian physician as opposed to an African-American (or Latino or Asian), a male physician as opposed to a female, or a physician from a wealthy as opposed to poor family? Would we allow a patient to dismiss a homosexual or transgender physician? Would we make a staff member take off a Star of David for an anti-Semitic patient? Hopefully, the answer is a resounding “NO!”

ii) The line between the overt discrimination in (2)(a)(i) and the proposed policy’s attention to issues of patient trust, confidence and satisfaction is a fine one, and the slope is slippery. Many of the specifics of the policy do little more than validate less overt forms of discrimination based on age, gender, and culture. Tattoos cannot harm a patient, so why does the proposed policy demand they be covered? Tattoos are currently accepted in many cultures, particularly Asian/Pacific Islander, and are gaining acceptance in the US as a whole, particularly in the youth and LGBT communities. If a tattoo decreases a patient’s confidence in their physician or nurse, it is likely because the patient has subtle biases about people, or cultures, that tattoo. Why should this be indulged by policy, when we presumably would NOT accede to a patient’s request to not be treated by Hawaiian or LGBT staff?

iii) The variability in patient preferences is alluded to in (1)(b)(ii). In this regard “Professionalism”, like beauty, is in the eyes of the beholder; what is concerning or offensive to some may be encouraging or calming to others. It is not clear how the specific elements of dress and appearance addressed in the proposed policy were generated. It is possible that a few may be issues overwhelming addressed on patient surveys, and it may be reasonable to give these extra consideration. Regardless, it is important to consider that discrimination and intolerance are wrong, even by majority vote. Similarly, some axioms are true, if trite: the squeaky wheel does get the grease, and the plural of anecdote is not data. For every patient complaint about an element of dress, there may be an equal number or more people who were comforted by that element who were not asked about it.

b) The following examples illustrate some of concerns regarding patient variability and discrimination:

i) Example – Patient Variability: “Extreme hair colors should be avoided.” Consider an employee who dyes part of their hair blue and yellow for a Chargers game. This is not uncommon in San Diego. Some may consider this inappropriate for the hospital atmosphere. Some consider it a pleasant diversion, forging a bond that enhances comfort and the therapeutic relationship. And some may simply root for another team. Similarly, a female nurse with a shock of pink hair might frighten an older patient and amuse a younger one. Neither reaction is objective, or superior, or more important.

ii) Example – Gender Roles: “Shorts…are not appropriate in a professional setting.” What is the difference between a male case manager wearing shorts that come to the knee, and a female wearing a skirt of similar length? Both expose the professional’s lower legs. Neither is dangerous to the patient. If the basis of acceptability is that one is a man and the other a woman, then the root is an expectation/assumption of gender expression, which is somewhat discriminatory. Would the male employee be considered more professional in a skirt than in shorts? Remember, it was not long ago that a female wearing pants was considered unprofessional. Secretary Clinton might argue that there are 17 million cracks in that point of view.

iii) Example – Socio-Economic Bias: “…denim of any type and similar casual clothes are not appropriate in a professional setting.” Denim is a sturdy and easily washed fabric made from 100% cotton. Why is it less professional than other fabrics made from 100% cotton? Many believe the “professional” taboo against denim is rooted in the fact that it was traditionally worn by farmers and manual laborers, who needed an inexpensive fabric that was durable. Others believe it related to the youth movement of the 1960s. Regardless, it was judged inappropriate for occupations of “higher” socio-economic status. In an age where environmental sustainability is important, at a hospital where staff wages are being cut, in a profession where bodily fluids are a common hazard – what is unprofessional about a durable, easily cleaned fabric? Only deep-rooted socio-economic biases.

Consider other fabrics. Silk might be “professional” to most in a tie, inappropriate as lingerie, and arguable in a male’s work shirt – does he look impressive, or like a “gangster”? Leather is almost universally appropriate as a belt or in shoes. Many would argue leather pants on a male would be inappropriate, yet few males who own them would consider them “casual”. What about a leather skirt from a female employee? In red? There is really no reason to universally dismiss a fabric – if there is a legitimate concern, it more likely relates to a more specific piece of clothing.

iv) Example: Religion vs. Culture -- Nasal piercings can be a religious adornment for Hindu women. They have also become a cultural affectation for women of Asian Sub-continental cultures, regardless of specific religion, and have gained broader popularity in America. They are banned by the proposed policy, with an exception for religion. Is religious expression particularly definable and more important than cultural expression? Who will judge religious devotion versus cultural expression? What about a paganist’s religious eyebrow piercing? A gay persons cultural expression by piercing?

v) Example: Complexity of issues – culture, variability, risk assessment. “Tattoos or other types of body art must be covered by clothing, a band-aid, make-up, etc.” The cultural issues regarding tattoos are discussed briefly in (2)(a)(ii). In a more specific example, consider health care employees who get their start in the military, where tattoos are common. A patient with a military tattoo on their forearm might unsettle some patients. Other patients, especially but not only veterans, might be comforted or identify with a veteran staff member. To comply with the proposed policy, the staff member would have to cover this tattoo. The simplest way to do so would be to wear a long sleeved shirt or coat. This action would satisfy the unsettled patients concerns, at the expense of the comforted patient. With regard to patient satisfaction, this yields no overall benefit, except that the unsettled patient may be more likely to complain about the tattoo than the comforted patient is to mention it in a positive way.

Further, the compliance action, a long sleeved shirt, may put both patients at risk of infection, a negative effect that should outweigh even a benefit to subjective satisfaction.

c) To be clear, there are reasonable policy issues regarding dress, and there may be some regarding appearance. But they should be limited to definable risks, and things that are specifically objectionable or offensive. For instance, it may appropriate to ask an employee with a Swastika or vulgar phrase to cover it, as this is more about avoiding a direct offense than indulging in a subtle bias. Such an “I’ll know it when I see it” policy is not easy to monitor or enforce, but it is better than indulging discrimination or unnecessarily stifling free expression.

3) Why not UCSD Medical Center? The arguments above can be made, and likely have been, at any institution considering a policy on dress and appearance. Despite this, many businesses have such a policy. It is reasonable to ask why UCSD Medical Center should be different.

a) As this relates to “Professionalism”, not all occupations are considered professions. The difference can be semantic, but given the reliance of the proposed policy on the idea of “Professionalism”, it seems germane. One way to express the difference is that professions, like medicine or health care, involve a fiduciary responsibility to the client. (http://depts.washington.edu/bioethx/topics/profes.html) In other words, we have obligations to work to benefit ALL our patients, even at a potential cost to us. While this is not unlimited, it differs from a business. A retail store might endorse a profitable policy that pleased a majority of clients, or a minority of high paying clients, even if other clients suffered. For a profession, such as health care, this is NOT appropriate; we have a duty to all patients that goes beyond profit.

b) The prior argument explains why the policies of other businesses might not apply to UCSD Medical Center. But what about the dress and appearance codes of other hospitals?

i) UCSD is different. It is an academic institution, and is committed to the largely unfettered pursuit of knowledge. Especially in recent years, academia has become the place where diversity and free expression are valued the most. The American Association of University Professors highlights the importance of academic freedom as follows:

"Institutions of higher education are conducted for the common good and not to further the interest of either the individual teacher or the institution as a whole. The common good depends upon the free search for truth and its free exposition" (http://www.aaup.org/AAUP/issues/AF/)

ii) It is governed by the Great State of California, which has strict policies against discrimination based on (but not limited to) the following: race, sex, religion, sexual orientation, age, and national origin (State of California, Department of Fair Employment and Housing). In its mission statement, UCSD underscores this commitment to fairness and non-discrimination:

“To foster the best possible working and learning environment, our university strives to maintain a climate of fairness, cooperation, and professionalism, which is embodied in our campus Principles of Community. UC San Diego embraces diversity, equity, and inclusion as essential ingredients of academic excellence in higher education.” (http://www.ucsd.edu/explore/about/)

Clearly, UCSD’s mission includes professionalism, but not at the expense of diversity, equity, and inclusion. Indeed, the idea of indulging subtle discrimination at a teaching institution like UCSD is particularly troubling – not only does it validate those espousing such biases, but it risks teaching our trainees that such discrimination is acceptable.

iii) The Core Values of UCSD Medical Center are equally clear:

“Caring: Commitment to valuing differences and respecting the well-being and dignity of each person.” (health.ucsd.edu/about/mission.htm)

Notably, UCSD’s policy does not specify each patient, but each PERSON, suggesting that the commitment to valuing differences extends to all people at UCSD, both patients and employees.

c) In short, a business might pursue any dress and appearance code they found profitable. A profession, like medicine, must consider the best treatment of each patient above the wishes of a majority, and above any related concerns for profit. As an academic center, UCSD, by it’s own mission and the goal of academics, must weigh the importance and benefits of diversity and free expression, and the danger of teaching discrimination, when considering such a policy.

d) To maintain its excellence, UCSD must recruit and maintain medical students, residents, and faculty. All of these groups would be affected by this policy, and some may choose to leave rather than be part of a discriminatory institution. It is also notable that many of the articles banned by the policy (facial piercing, tattoos, denim, hair color) are increasingly popular and accepted in the young people we will need to refill our professional ranks. With that in mind, our policy should be on the side of openness and diversity to ensure long-term excellence. It would be sad to lose our ability to recruit the best and brightest nurses and doctors of tomorrow because of a policy based on biases of today.

e) There is also an issue of logistics, largely for physicians. At an academic center, many physicians work by pager, coming from clinics, laboratories, or home. Should a physician stop to change clothes if paged while wearing jeans, or without his or her tattoo covered? Most patients and families would presumably be more concerned about when the doctor arrived than what he or she was wearing.

4) Summary

This does not mean there is no room for a policy on dress and appearance, but it must be fair to all patients, and limited to data driven interventions that prevent definable harms, such as bacterial contamination or risk of injury. It must not arbitrarily impinge on free expression or indulge discrimination based on gender, culture, age, or sexual orientation. Sadly, too much of the proposed policy focuses on the latter, occasionally at the expense of the former.

Thank you for your kind consideration. I would be honored to meet with the committee or its members to further discuss these issues, especially any policies that are driven by outside research or significant data that has been obtained from our patients.

New Blog

2008-11-12T23:09:00.000-08:00

So I haven't been here lately. There are many reasons, but the most recent was my work on the Vote No on Prop 8 Campaign. I'm starting a new blog with some friends to carry on the work we started for marriage equality. We took the last campaign slogan and made it a site/blog. Hopefully we'll tune it up soon, but come visit the new site at www.unfairandwrong.com, or unfairandwrong.blogspot.com.

If you're in California, I hope you voted No on 8. Wherever you are, please support marriage equality.

Concedin'

2008-09-04T21:31:00.000-07:00

Start with a long day at work with crazy families;
Add a song from driving home with 93.3;
Fold in listening to a John McCain's speech;
Finally, blend with a bottle from a recent wine shipment,
And you get..."Concedin'"

(To the tune of Jesse McCartney’s “Leavin’”)

Hey John McCain, I was watching you last night (last night, last night, last night)
Man, your military story is amazing (amazing, amazing, amazing)
You make me want to fix your arms to work again (work again, work again, work again)
I know you got a plan, but this is what you should say
Why won’t you tell us you’re

Concedin’, never gonna run again
You know Obama can do it better than you can
No more sarcastic lines, no more blatant lies
You can go out on a big high, big high

You’re concedin’, never gonna run again
So call your party and tell them to back the change man
That Democratic guy
Walkin’ the road so high
Make the country all-right, all-right

Oooh oooh oooh (oh)
Oooh oooh
Make the country all-right (gonna make it all-right)
Oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh

Now John McCain you want reform and I’m right there with you (there with you, there with you, there with you)
Yeah, we need to be some changes, changes back in D.C (D.C, D.C, D.C)
‘Cause Barack is the candidate who can change the scene (change the scene, change the scene, change the scene)
So I'ma ask you one time since you met the man
Why don't you tell us that

Concedin’, never gonna run again
You know Obama can do it better than you can
No more sarcastic lines, no more blatant lies
You can go out on a big high, big high

You’re concedin’, never gonna run again
So call your party and tell them to back the change man
That Democratic guy
Walkin’ the road so high
Make the country all-right, all-right

Oooh oooh oooh (oh)
Oooh oooh
Make the country all-right
Oooh oooh oooh (the country’s all right, oh, the country’s all-right)
Oooh oooh oooh (the country’s all right, you got me praying)

Don’t stress, don’t stress, don’t stress
Just give it to the Dems, Dems, Dems
Don’t stress, don’t stress, don’t stress
Just be gone and be gone and be gone

No stress, no stress, no stress
John, you deserve nothing but some rest
No stress, no stress, no stress
John, you need to tell us that…

You’re concedin’, never gonna run again
So call your party and tell them to back the change man
That Democratic guy
Walkin’ the road so high
Make the country all-right, all-right

You’re concedin’, never gonna run again
So call your party and tell them to back the change man
That Democratic guy
Walkin’ the road so high
Make the country all-right, all-right

Oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh
Make the country all-right
Oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh

He’ll make the country all-right, all-right, all-riiight

Oooh oooh oooh
Oooh oooh
Make the country all-right
Oooh oooh oooh (the country’s all right, oh, the country’s all-right)
Oooh oooh oooh (the country’s all right, you got me praying)

I know...I need a life.

NOT just another debate

2008-01-31T19:54:00.000-08:00

I got back SF just in time to watch the Democratic Debate, and have been watching the spin since.

Before any other opinions, I want to give a shout out to former Senator John Edwards. He could have continued to campaign and collect delegates, but he saw the writing on the wall. I think he dropped out when he did because he knew the party needed to see Sen. Clinton and Sen. Obama one-on-one at least once before Super Tuesday. I also think he may endorse Obama, but didn't want that to color the debate. Thanks, John.

I'm hoping Obama will get his endorsement this weekend, to help him for Feb. 5.

I'm looking at this debate as about round 6 in a 12 (or more) round title bout, and I give the round to Sen. Clinton. There was a lot of posturing, a lot posing, but not too many punches thrown. I counted Sen. Clinton with a few more jabs: I think she won health care (for now), maybe experience, and had a great line about needing another Clinton to clean up after a Bush.

Sen. Obama definitely survived the round without a knockdown, and had a couple of hits of his own. Like body blows, we may not see their effects until the later rounds. Bringing the war back to the front of the debate was a great move, and the (paraphrase) "not only ready, but right, on day one" was great. His strong stance in support of driver's licenses for undocumented immigrants, combined with the support of Sen. Kennedy and the service union, may also bring him a much needed boost in the Latino community. He'll probably get a good number of delegates in California, but actually beating Sen. Clinton there would be a huge coup. I'm sending in my ballot to help make it happen.

It's Official!

2008-01-25T22:39:00.000-08:00

Come on in!

As of Tuesday afternoon, escrow is closed, and the change in title has been recorded, making it all mine. By which I mean Bank of America's.

The pic's were taken with my camera phone, and Dad didn't realize how easily it shakes, so some are a little blurry.

Here's a wider view of the front, with the driveway on the left.

And from the side:

Had to have a fireplace. Mine is in the living room -- there's also a dining room.

The kitchen has an island and a built in wine rack, as well as me next to a nice mirror left by the previous owner and a bunch of shelves for my wine glasses.

The master bedroom has a big mirrored closet and french doors that open onto the patio.

The patio with the hottub. The previous owner did a lot of landscaping. Come see it in the daytime!

Master Bath - in the mirror you can see the swank towel warmer.

The guest bath ain't bad either.

The guest room, which will probably be the den again.

The previous owner turned the third bedroom into a gym, complete with water cooler and rubber floor. I'll probably keep it that way.

That's all for now. Book your visit soon :)

A Debate With 3 Winners

2008-01-21T20:02:00.000-08:00

I know you are anxiously awaiting my take on the Democratic Presidential Debate, so here it is. Oddly, I think all of the candidates accomplished most of what they wanted, and were effective in different ways.

John Edwards - Frequently looked like the only adult on stage, and was quickest on his feet and probably scored the most points. Pressing Obama on ALL of his "present" votes, was far more effective than Clinton's laundry list. Even if there is a good reason for all of them, he couldn't explain them all away, or the issue. If it were November, or his opponents weren't celebrites, this might really be a three way race.

Barack Obama - Showed he can take it and hit back, though I thought he was a little winey in some of the exchanges. Put to rest the Reagan/ideas story, which was sadly necessary. Did manage to bring things around to his change theme, but not often enough, especially for MLK day, and seemed less inspiring than usual. But the crowd seemed to like him, and I think he may have played it well enough to solidify a victory in South Carolina.

Hillary Clinton - I agree with some of the CNN pundits -- whether she meant to concede South Carolina or not, she was definitely playing to a national audience. I think some of her shots were a little too harsh, and Barack may benefit in South Carolina from the "don't mess with our guy/gal" votes that she got in New Hampshire. Time will tell if any of the points she raised will help her later, but they might.
Missed Opportunities

I wish Edwards would prep my guy, because I think he missed some great chances to score.

Immigration/Health Care: I think Obama could have used Edwards' admissions that none of their plans covered undocumented immigrants to point out that none of the plans were "Universal", tied it briefly to a need for immigration reform, and spun it back to the need to change the playing field, not just the game. A little dangerous, because he would have had to duck promising it himself (not a good sound bite for the general election), but he would have scored points with Latinos. It also might have shut down the issue, because Clinton would NOT want to have to take a stand on that point.

Changing Stances and the 2 Clintons: Voters seem willing to accept that somehow Hillary's service as First Lady in Little Rock and Washington, D.C. counts as "experience", so it's probably time to stop fighting it directly. Instead, use it. Tie her to every decision her husband made, and every time he flip-flopped. For obvious reasons, I'd start with Don't Ask Don't Tell and DOMA. NAFTA works, too, since she's not really for it any more. Ask her where her strength and experience were when those things didn't get done. If she says she wasn't a politician then, you can go right back to the question of what her experience was during those years, and the unreleased notes from the library. Plus, he could then bash both Clinton's with one strike instead of having to pivot from one to the other.

Most Electable

I don't think there is a "Most Electable" candidate this year. We've gotten used to having an established candidate or opponent, which isn't true this year. It depends a lot on the winner of the Republican primary, which we won't know. My thoughts:

Huckabee - If this one's close with any of the three democratic candidates, something went horribly awry.

Romney - Similar to the above. He probably loses some of his base due to his religion (sadly) and any of the 3 can remind voters how we did with an MBA-in-chief.

Guiliani - Hillary Clinton. It's hard to imagine a Democrat winning the White House without NY, and he might put it in play. If a Democrat can win without New York, though, it might be Obama vs. Guiliani, because more Southern and Western states will be in play.

McCain - Obama. Hands down. Even if you grant that Hillary has the most foreign policy experience, she will not best McCain on the point. It will be about cross-over appeal and winning independents. The only person in the democratic field who can best McCain with independents is Obama.

Disappointments
Political - I didn't really like Obama's answer to the question about whether President Bill Clinton was the first black president. It worked OK for him, but if John Edwards had similarly equated dancing ability with "blackness", especially in a political realm, he would have been vilified as the second coming of David Duke. I would have liked a better answer from Obama

Apolitical-
The Chargers
The Packers
The cute boys added to Prison Break tonight -- they died at the end of the episode. With the exception of Sucre, hot Latin men on Prison Break have the life span of someone with a red shirt on Star Trek.

Excitement - I am allegedly getting the keys to my house tomorrow. Again. What's 2 levels below cautiously optimistic?

"My" House: The saga continues

2008-01-18T19:04:00.000-08:00

Any one remember "The Empire Strikes Back", because this is FAR from "A New Hope".

"I have altered the deal. Pray I do not alter it further."
-- Darth Vader

That's about how I feel about the house.

As you may remember from 2 posts ago, our hero had been told he would get the keys to his new house last week, only to find out that the evil Seller had not paid off their debts.

January 17, 2008 -- My agent texts me to say that I have to resign all of my loan documents, and asks when I would have time on Friday. Turns out Seller took too long, and B of A couldn't use the same ones.
Given I would be post call, with a lot of new patients, I told him Friday probably wouldn't work. He said that if I didn't sign Friday, we couldn't close until Tuesday at the earliest, when my Dad is supposed to arrive for our vacation. He assured me (because Escrow had assured him) that Seller had done all of their stuff, and this would be the last thing. So I asked why we couldn't do it that night.
After talking to escrow, skipping the gym, and breaking a date, I was at my house waiting for a Notary to arrive from Irvine. It was the same guy as before, I signed the papers again, and he left. My agent called to make sure everything had gone OK, and told me that I would have the keys today.

January 18, 2008. I was more or less getting through my first 8 hours of work by thinking about having my friends over to my house when my agent texted me. Apparently the escrow company (about as useful as the Imperial Senate) couldn't confirm some of Sellers payments. So we couldn't close, and I couldn't get my keys. I called Escrow myself, and no one could explain how this was possible, given that I had been told that "everything else was done". So I skipped a date and the gym (and thereby more dates) for NOTHING. I resisted the temptation to let my overly optimistic agent have it, until he said "Escrow is upset as you are. We're all upset". That was it. I explained to him that we could all get in a room in see who was the most upset. He shut up.
So now I won't have my house until Tuesday, if ever. You think I'd have learned my lesson about getting excited -- but I never do (probably why I'm supporting Obama). I did learn something though -- I called my guy at B of A to make sure I won't have to sign documents again if they drag it out until next Thursday.
And, for the record, my banker, and Bank of America, have been the most stalwart, honest, and professional part of this whole thing. A pleasant surprise from a big company.

The saga continues...

Snap Judgments

2008-01-15T21:46:00.000-08:00

Thought I'd share quick thoughts about recent political events. Remember, I am officially NOT unbiased.

Hillary on Meet the Press: Count me unimpressed. She took every dig she could at Obama, rarely mentioning his name so there wouldn't be any mean sounding clips. Probably politically smart, and very Clintonian, but it didn't impress me.

The Truce on Racism: Why wouldn't Hillary work for a truce this week? She got all her digs in Sunday. I won't say Barack never left the high road, but he spent more time on it than Hillary did.

The Nevada Lawsuit: It may not be fair that Casino/Restaurant/Hotel workers have a special way to caucus that other people don't. If it were really about equality, though, they would have filed suit BEFORE the unions endorsed Obama. I'm sure Hillary's name isn't attached to anything, but it's her people. Effective politics, but save it for the general election. It's partisan, it's old school, and it makes Obama's road look even higher.

Nevada Debate: They might as well have sung Kumbaya. Seems like after the truce, we all ran against Bush/Republicans tonight; even Edwards was in muted attack mode. To me, Obama clearly had the "vision thing", but overall I call it a draw. I liked the fact that the candidates got to ask each other questions, but Hillary's request for co-sponsorship was cheap theatre. Obama accidentally burning his question was stupid.

Don't Ask Don't Tell: All 3 candidates got a fat pitch on this, and they all watched it got by. Brian Williams asked the candidates if they would enforce the law that colleges would lose federal funding if they don't allow an ROTC chapter. They all said yes. But none of them mentioned that top schools don't reject ROTC as an anti-military or anti-war stance, but because ROTC violates campus policies against discrimination based on sexual orientation. Since all 3 are on record as planning to end "Don't Ask Don't Tell", it seems like one of them might have mentioned that the problem would largely go away in their administration. Makes me wonder, as Melissa Etheridge (Logo forum) and The Who did, if we "won't be fooled again".

Chris Matthews: I've been a Hardball fan, and I like the guy. But I think he has a crush on Hillary that is only now being requited. Before the NH primary, all he did was scream about how (Bill) Clinton had been ahead by 20 points, lost, and declared himself the "come-back kid". He seemed to have taken the spin as a personal affront, and his ire hadn't waned over 16 years. On the night of the NH primary, you could hear him laughing and talking off camera during interviews -- I thought he was drunk. But since that cheek pinch (or whatever), Hillary can do no wrong. Sorry, Chris, I don't think she crushed everyone tonight, nor do I think she restored her inevitability by running against Bush instead of Barack and John.

The Experience Question: Turns out it doesn't matter much to me. Hillary probably has shown us what she would do in more circumstances than Barack. But the defining moments of history and presidencies are about what you do in the situations you CAN'T predict. President Bush, in my opinion, is one for three. He handled 9/11 well with the megaphone and the attack on Afghanistan and the Taliban. Then he blew Katrina and Iraq.

I know Senator Clinton can respond to polls, read the tea leaves, and win elections. But I think Senator Obama has the vision to make the right choices in the tough situations. In short, he's a leader. I'm not sure she is. Look no further than her chief campaign strategist -- it's Mark Penn, her pollster. Heisenberg teaches us that you can't measure an event without affecting it. But I don't think you can't affect a situation much if you spend all your time measuring it.

I'd love to hear your thoughts, but no more anonymous endorsements. If you want me to publish your support for a candidate, put your name on it.

Late update: I just looked at the Michigan results. Remember that the Democratic Party stripped Michigan of it's delegates for having their primary too soon. Noone really campaigned there, but Senator Clinton was the only major candidate not to take her name off the ballot. She "won" with 55%, but only beat "uncommitted" (40%) by 15%. And apparently most of the African American voters said they would have voted for Senator Obama if he had been on the ballot. If Sen. Obama wins Nevada and South Carolina, I think the momentum will be with him. Again.

gO-bama!

This Old House

2008-01-14T21:08:00.000-08:00

A long day at work, a new Prison Break, and the Sarah Connor Chronicles mean I'm going to stay in tonight. While I sit with my wine, I thought I'd finally share the drama of buying what I hope will be my house. Sadly, I still don't have the keys. I think we'll do this by timeline.

Early November 2007 I've found that the best way to apartment hunt is to walk around the neighborhoods you like. You'll see everything in the paper and on Craigslist and then some. So I was out trolling University Heights -- still a gayborhood, but not Hillcrest (the Castro of San diego) -- when I saw a cute little house on the corner with a "For Sale" sign. It also said "SPA". I wrote down the address, but assumed it was well out of my price range.

When I started working with my agent, he showed me houses I wanted to see, as well as places he thought might help my perspective. Which I think is code for "get me to spend more money". He told me his brokerage was selling a house in the area, and took me to the very one I had seen. I was right on two counts -- it was cute, even on the inside. And it was out of my price range. I pretty much dismissed it.

Late November 2007 I saw my house advertised on Craigslist for my loan pre-approval limit. It was more than I wanted to spend, but it was getting in range, and I had given up on the one other house that I liked. So we worked out a bid that was below the asking price, but not outside the realm of reason (usually 90% of the asking price).

Oddly, they "countered" at an even HIGHER price. Apparently Craigslist means nothing official, and they had listed it with a "value price range" of about $40,000 -- the Craigslist offer being the low end. I was ready to bag, but he found out they were just using their offer to make their real price they wanted right in the middle. I countered a little below that, and they accepted. It was more than I had planned to spend, but I was suddenly in Escrow on a house I really liked.

It turned out the owner of the house worked for Countrywide, and wanted him to take a job in a new city. So the house was being sold through a relocation company. We worked with them, but were getting info from the original owner. More later.

Early December 2007 When we agreed on a price, the "seller" requested I only take 7 days to complete my inspections, instead of the usual 14. My agent thought this was odd, but we just guessed they wanted to close before the end of the year for tax purposes. There was an odd line on the listing...garage conversion done by prior owner. No known permits, buyer to verify. Seemed simple enough, but after bouncing between the City permit office and the County Tax Assessors office for 2 days, I found out that the garage and a good chunk of the driveway had been turned into the master bedroom and two baths. With NO permits.

Armed with this infomation, I countered that they could: (1) get the permits; (2) give me more time to research the possibility of permits; or (3) drop the price significantly. They said no, and I started signing papers to close escrow.

December 21, 2007 This was the day I would have closed on the house, had the permit thing not come up. I thought I was done when my agent called to say there was one more form. "But before you sign it, let me ask you something." He told me that he and the other agent were willing to drop their commissions, and the sellers were willing to move a little. Would I take the house for $25K less -- not as low as I had asked, but not bad. I took a night, called Dad and some friends, and said "Yes!"

Unfortunately, they couldn't get the wording for the money right, and everyone went on vacation.

January 3, 2007 Everyone was back, but I still didn't have an official offer at the agreed price. Then my banker called to say that my loan rate lock was going to expire. It turns out the the person originally running the show at the relocation company didn't have her shit together, and had never gotten the offer approved by Countrywide, who had assumed the deed to the property when they moved their employee. It also turned out that there was a second mortgage on the property, so Coutrywide was going to take a bath on my property. Fortunately, my banker got me a 7 day lock extension.

January 9, 2007 Countrywide approved the sale at the agreed price, presumably figuring that taking a bath now would be better than drowning later, given the state of the housing market. They finally got the wording (though not the numbering) of the counter offer correct, and we were back on. They required that closing occur "on or before January 24." We picked before, like ASAP, since the rate lock on my loan was running out. Again. The escrow company sent a notary to my house to sign away my life on the loan papers, and I thought we were done. I even did a final walk through with my agent, and the previous owner had cleaned out the place and left a nice note. Hence the last blog.

January 10, 2007 I get a frantic call from my bank. Apparently, the sellers hadn't signed the papers. Turned out that they hadn't paid off the debt on the property, so I couldn't get the deed. Fortunately, my agent and banker worked out that my lock was good until at least...

January 11, 2007 Happy Birthday, Mom! In an oddly related event, Bank of America (my bank) is buying Countrywide (who owns my house). Which means that if we wait long enough, B of A can just sell itself the house through me. In the mean time, Countrywide has decided they're not going to get their shit done until the 18th. I was LIVID. I was ready to close out, go home, and start over. Until I talked to my banker. He thinks they're wishing they hadn't chosen the bath, and they're HOPING I will back out (they can't break the escrow). He told me to hang in if I like the house, because he thinks I'm getting a sweet deal.

January 14, 2007 I'm here waiting, hoping to get my keys Friday, but knowing they may drag this out until the 24th, when Dad and I are supposed to be in wine country. As we know, patience is not one of the angels of my personality -- it hardly qualifies as a "better demon". But I'll make it -- especially since my agent got me a 30 day rate lock extension, so I really have nothing more to worry about. I'm just Villanova, running out the clock (trivia buffs, name the year and the opponent for blog bonus points). I hope some of you will come down and see the trophy if I make it.

More pictures still to follow, God-willing. I would give the address to google, but sadly I have an A4A stalker, so I'm a little careful these days. I'll probably take the outside pic down shortly, but I'm all giddy right now.

The American Dream

2008-01-09T19:56:00.000-08:00

After signing my name to a mind numbing stack of documents containing mind boggling numbers...

I OWN A HOUSE!!!

I should get the keys tomorrow or Friday. Looks like I'll be here in sunny San Diego for a while now, so y'all better come visit. Chad and Dan, this means you!

Anyone remember the old Jack Frost Christmas special? He needed a horse, a castle, and a wife to be truly human. Already had the Mustang, now I've got a castle (3 bed, 2 bath is pretty good in SD). Just got to find some applicants for the partner position.

Pics to follow.

gO-bama

2008-01-03T22:46:00.001-08:00

If you didn't know it by know, I'm a political wonk, and you can bet I watched the Iowa Caucus/Straw Poll results tonight. In fact, I watched it with some friends from an certain LGBT activist organization. I wanted to share a few thoughts.

1) I was a John Edwards guy 6 months ago. Then I got unimpressed -- I liked what he said, but he didn't move me. Obama did. Turns out I wanted to be inspired, not sold. I'm was watching the O-bandwagon until tonight. Now, I'm officially on it.

2) On the Republican side, I tend to like what Gov. Huckabee says -- he almost sounds like the compassionate conservative W claimed to be. If only he didn't want to quarantine the gay men and forsake evolution. Hopefully, he will at some point say that he won't force his religious views on people (I LIKE evolution). Regardless, his line that (paraphrase) "people want to vote for the guy who looks like them, not the guy who fired them" is awesome (Edwards should have used it).

3) I'll go on record now for the Republican nomination. McCain will beat Romney in NH, effectively ending Romney's bid. South Carolina will be a showdown between McCain and Huckabee. I prefer McCain, but I may root for Huckabee -- because he can't win a general election (and you can put me on record for that).

4) Edwards is over, but he could be big. I think he will try to play until South Carolina, and he won't win. If he got out now and endorsed someone, that person would win.

5) Unless Edwards endorses Hillary, the dominoes are lining up for Sen. Obama. He was nearly tied in NH before his Iowa victory -- I think his bounce will put him over the top. I think his destruction of Hillary's "inevitability" claim will win him the African American vote in South Carolina. If he goes 3/3 in the sanctioned primaries, I think he'll be hard to stop.

And I'll go work for him with the zeal I did Bill Clinton.

Happy Caucus Day!

Random Thoughts

2007-12-03T00:50:00.000-08:00

1) Go Steelers: Since the Browns lost, you have some breathing room. Forget about everything else, and BEAT the F'in Pats!

2) Geaux Tigers. Not that you should be in the championship game. I could deal with a 2 loss team in the title game, if there were not a more worthy 1 loss team. And there may not be. There is, though, an undefeated team named Hawai'i. My Dad always said that if you're undefeated, no one knows what your limits are. I officially believe Hawai'i should be in the title game. Even in a weak conference, it's hard to never slip and to therefore go undefeated. Doubt me? Ask OSU about a little game against Illinois. Ask USC to explain a loss at Stanford.

3) Republicans -- Reap what you sow. For the past 20 years, the Republicans have done a great job of getting people to put their religious convictions ahead of their economic interests (for more info, read "Don't Think of an Elephant" and "What's the Matter With Kansas?"). Now that they don't think social conservatism will win a general election, they want Republicans to vote for a fiscally conservative social moderate (Guliani), or flip-flopper (Romney) in the primary. And then along comes Huckabee, a Bible thumping tax and spender -- possibly the compassionate conservative (to some degree) that G. W. Bush claimed to be. I'm enjoying the implosion. BTW, Gov. Huckabee -- I'm glad you at least agonized over the decision to kill people by lethal injection before you determined their lives didn't mean as much as a fetus's. Hillary will have you for lunch, and Barack will just make you look LAME.

4) I'm throwing this out here for the Democrats who won't cut off funding for the war. Here's your argument: The engagement and mismanagement of the war in Iraq shows that President Bush will not act in the interest of our soldiers. Cutting off funding is therefore dangerous, because this president might leave our troops there without financial support rather than bringing them home. We can't risk that.

5) What you're going to hear about the Venezuelan election is that Chavez's referenda to remove term limits didn't pass. What will fade out is that something like 9 million people voted, out of a possible 16 million. Maybe we'll have better luck exporting democracy when we get that kind of participation in a US election.

6) Buying a house is a full time job. You should get sick leave just from the stress. I'm now in escrow, and suddenly there's a list of things my seller knew needed to be fixed, but didn't have to tell me about 'til now. If I ask them to pay for the repairs, they can nullify escrow if they got a better bid at the Open House they held today. And it all has to be done through agents -- seems like we would need Sec. Rice just to sit down together and hash it out without trading ultimatums.

Have a great night!

Whatever

2007-11-20T00:44:00.000-08:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a while -- but I have a new creative outlet, and I'm working on a second.

Rage liked my second piece, so I think I really have a column. And I've been house hunting, which takes a ridiculous amount of time. Right now, I'm a back-up on a property whose location I love, and I'm debating if I want to up the offer on something else. Buying a house is a ridiculous process -- the only thing in my life that has given me any preparation is Texas Hold'Em. You pretty much have to look at your finances and decide when you're going "all in". Trust me -- you'll fall in love with something in the banks pre-approval range that is more that you ever planned to spend.

The house is NOT the second creative outlet. I'm actually going to try to develop a website on gay health, so I hope y'all will visit in a few months. I'm hoping to meet with a webpage designer in the next few weeks -- if you know someone in SD who does this, drop me a line. Otherwise, I'm at the mercy of the yellow pages.

Happy Turkey Day!

"Why didn't you tell me your Aunt was literate?"

2007-10-30T18:56:00.000-07:00

--Little Glory Upson, the ditzy blonde, upon publication of "Live! Live! Live! by Mame Dennis Burnside

library.osu.edu

A number of months ago, Phillip called to tell me that he was applying for his dream job -- Health and Fitness Editor for PlanetOut. I told him he shouldn't have told me, because it was my dream job, too.

Before the BA in Chemistry, the PhD, and the MD, I was thinking about a career in journalism. I edited my grade school newspaper, my high school newspaper, news-letters at summer programs, and wrote and edited copy for a couple of the newspapers at JHU. I always enjoyed it, but it got pushed to the side on the quest to get to medical school, then residency. It made me a good science writer during my PhD years, but that was about all I did with my experience.

I never lost the bug, though. One of the reasons I started this blog was to get back to writing. It's was also one of the reasons I wanted to get back to an academic position, even if it meant moving to San Diego. I didn't sit down and think about how much I missed it, though, until I heard about the PlanetOut job. Especially since it offered the chance to be involved in the LGBT community in a positive way.

Phillip agreed I should apply, and I did, after some back door info gathering. In doing so, I realized that I probably wouldn't hire me for my writing, since I hadn't written anything other than "hard science" in over 10 years. I needed what my father called "some clippings". While I waited to hear back from PlanetOut, I e-mailed the editor of one of the new local community magazines, and asked if I could write a column.

I'm still waiting to hear from PlanetOut. But I'm celebrating my first column in the November issue of Rage.

No, I didnt' get to meet him. But the artwork in the magazine is INCREDIBLE! They've asked me for something for December, so I'm off to write it. But I wanted to take a minute to thank my various muses:

-- My Dad, the journalist and editor, who has been willing to read and edit everything I've written, and has been unbelievably encouraging.
-- Chad Fox, who got me to start this blog, which was definitely the first step. I miss your blog, and you, sweetheart.
-- Phillip, who told me about the job, got me started, and has been sending the good wishes ever since.
-- DanNation, who encourages every crazy idea I have. I hope I get around to more of them.
-- Jimmi, who's been a great friend since I guest starred on my first Variety Cast.
-- Renie, who's been telling me to get back into writing and politics since I've known her. (Added bonus to Renie -- I'm also involved in the emerging San Diego HRC community).
-- Sue (of Sue and Bob fame) whose been a blog supporter since I let it slip, and who has agreed to be my female BFF.
-- JC and his ex, who helped me get things off to PlanetOut.
-- The folks at Rage who are giving me a chance.

"Life's a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!"
-- Auntie Mame

Not me, I'm having a great time. Thanks, folks.

Good Choice, Good Riddance

2007-10-29T15:59:00.000-07:00

www.cbc.ca

The day after a Red Sox sweep of the World Series will never be easy for a Yankee fan. Fortunately, a couple of annoucements made it a little easier to bear.

First, the Yankees have picked Joe Girardi to be their new manager. Good choice. While I stand by my assertion that LaRussa would have given the Yanks the best chance to win next year, Girardi is definitely the best choice for the long haul.

Second, Scott Boras announced that A-Rod's as big a narcissistic twit as we all thought. OK, actually he announced that Rodriguez would opt out of the last 3 years of his contract with the Yankees, but when you do it in the middle of the final game of the World Series (even when it's Boston), it amounts to the same thing. The Yankees claim they won't pursue A-Rod as a free agent, and I hope they don't. I think he's a great player, but the Yankees probably need to put that money elsewhere. Plus, my impression is that Girardi is a big "team" kind of guy, and I don't think he would have much tolerance for A-Rod's ego.

So next year, the Yankees will be without A-Rod, their highest profile hitter. Last year they lost Randy Johnson, a high profile pitcher. I'm cautiously optimistic. After 1998, Randy Johnson left the Mariners for the Diamondbacks. In 2000, A-Rod left the Mariners for the Texas Rangers. How did the Mariners do in 2001? They tied the regular season record with 116 wins. The Yankees just need to find their Ichiro.

One final sports note -- I hope the Patriots lose, and soon. Preferably to the Steelers. But this whining about how they "ran-up the score" on Washington? Tough. These aren't college kids with potentially fragile egos playing (allegedly) for fun. These are people making millions of dollars to compete. I agree with Ditka -- if you don't want to be scored on, shut up and play better D. Keeping Brady in a game when you're up by 40, however, is a questionable decision.

Lines of the Week

2007-10-24T21:29:00.001-07:00

Thanks to all who checked in to see if the fires were affecting me. I've been fine here in Hillcrest. The hospitals are full and I signed up to volunteer, but I haven't been called in to either. The worst that happened to me was that Prison Break got delayed Monday and all the places I wanted to hit in the mall today were closed.

1) Since it relates to the fires, I'll start with the best thing I've heard this week. One of my friends works with a lesbian who was part of a voluntary evacuation. When asked if she needed a place to stay, she apparently said:

"I'm at my house, and I have beer and a hose. I'm not going anywhere."

Ya gotta love the image of a middle aged lesbian on her deck with a beer and hose ready to tackle a fire. I see her in flannel and jeans. I also submit that it's the rare lesbian who would risk her life on her ability to operate a "hose".

2) Bon Jovi made a surprise appearance on my iPod Shuffle with Bed of Roses, where Jon gets up to "French kiss the morning". I French kissed the morning myself today -- with all the fires, it tasted like a chain smoker.

3) Dumbledore is/was gay. I think it's great, and it doesn't upset me that it wasn't made clear in the books. I consider it like the question "Are you out at work?" It's an incredibly rare event that makes my sexuality relevant at work. I don't hide it, but I don't walk in and say "Hi, I'll be your GAY doctor today!" I've read all seven books more than once, and I'm not sure where Dumbledore's orientation should have come up. It just sounds to me like JK Rowling is a tolerant person, using her book to promote tolerance. With regard to the script change story, I don't really care if she decided Dumbledore was gay last year or last week.

4) Dumbledore is gay, therefore there IS a gay plot to use entertainment to expose children to homosexuality, therefore Tinkie Winkie was gay. I'm already lost, and we haven't even gotten to the part where it all means that Jerry Falwell was right and misunderstood.

5) On "The Chris Matthews Show" it was mentioned that Senator Larry Craig is not stepping down. Someone asked, after expressing incredulity that he was actually saying it, "Is he STALLING?"

Damn Yankees!

2007-10-19T22:18:00.000-07:00

www.framehuggers.com

I'm a Yankees fan. Why? The short version is this: most people in Erie, PA were Cleveland Indians' fans, my grandfather didn't like those people and wanted to piss them off, and he decreed we would be New York Yankee fans.

I vaguely remember the championship season in 1978. Then I remember a lot of lean years in the 80's and early 90's, when it wasn't easy to root for the "most storied franchise in sports".

www.msnbc.msn.com

Then George spent a bunch of money on Joe Torre and free agents. By 2000, I had to constantly prove I wasn't a wagon jumper. It's been a little harder to root for the Yankees since then, but I wouldn't describe 12 consecutive play-off appearances as more "lean years". But rooting for the Yankees got a lot harder recently -- because I'd rather root for Joe Torre.

Torre's departure from the Yankees was discussed from 2 very different viewpoints on cnnsi.com. If you read them, you'll quickly see where I come down.

Let's be clear -- Joe Torre did NOT turn down the Yankees. They tried to find a line to walk where they could pretend he decided to leave so they could move on with no "blood on their hands". I agree with Verducci -- it didn't work.

First of all, the Yankees made a monumentally stupid decision. The management claims that their goal is to win the World Series annually. If I were a Vegas odds-maker, I give the Yanks the best odds to win next year if Torre is still their manager. They have some high profile replacements in the mix, but it's folly to suggest any of them could step in and be more likely to win next year than Torre.

Don't get me wrong -- I don't see Torre through rose-colored glasses. He's probably not the best tactical manager in baseball. I don't think he could ever have done what Girardi did with the Marlins. He wasn't a winning manager before, and he may never be again. But he's the best fit for the Yankees. The job of Yankees' manager is not about calling the suicide squeeze to "manufacture" a run. It's about juggling $200 million worth of egos. It's about turning A-Rod into a 3rd baseman and having him win another MVP (or two) there. It's about making a team come together around a future hall of fame pitcher who's going to make more than everyone else for 2/3 of a season of average pitching. Torre did it well.

I'll give the Yankees a little credit for at least realizing they couldn't fire Torre. They had to offer him something -- but it should have been reasonable -- a short contract with a very modest raise. Instead, they insulted him. A one year contract with a pay cut and incentives (which they previously said was a bad idea) -- puh-leeasse. Who takes a 25% pay cut after 12 years? And let's face it -- he made the playoffs this year, making him arguably one of the top 8 managers by performance. Given that his team was the only one not to get swept in the division series, he's already #5. You don't take a pay cut when you've performed in the top 20%.

Obviously, they were hoping to find a way to ditch Torre while maintaining his supporters. I, like Verducci, thought they'd failed when I saw the offer Torre refused. His comments tonight ended any delusion that he was OK with it. The saddest/funniest thing is that the extra dollars they will probably have to pay to keep Posada and Rivera in Torre's absence will far outweigh the cost of keeping Torre with a raise. (More proof they were looking to ditch him.)

As to Torre's successor, I'm split. In my heart, I want Girardi.

news.cbc.co.uk

The guy has an engineering degree from Northwestern, and he's brilliant. Also, he has a great relationship with Greg Maddux from his Cubbie days. Can you imagine a better pitching coach? I'm not sure he would juggle egos as well as Torre, but if there's rebuilding to be done, I think Girardi's the guy. (And yeah, I think he's ruggedly HOT!) Donnie Baseball is a great emotional choice for a Yankee fan, but he hasn't proven anything. And then there's LaRussa.

Honestly, if I want my boyz to win next year, I take LaRussa. The job is still going to be an ego juggling act, best done by a conciliator used to high salaries. LaRussa is the closest thing to Torre -- old enough to demand respect and a proven, steady hand.

Things have changed since Grandpa's time and since I left Erie. The Red Sox, not the Indians, are clearly the hated nemesis, so I'm rooting for The Tribe for the next game or two. Then I'm all about the feel good Rockies. After which I'm taking a break from baseball, and focusing on a way for Penn State to make the Rose Bowl. And Go Steelers!

In April, I'll be rooting for at least two teams: my Cubbies, managed by X-Yankee player/manager Lou Pinella; and whoever hires Joe. Even if it's the ESPN broadcast team. And we'll see about the Yankees.

Joe, thanks for a great 12 years. You deserved better.

Mere Mortals

2007-10-15T21:01:00.000-07:00

I usually take my lunch break in my office, check e-mail, and buzz cnn.com.

Today, I got floored. On the front page of cnnsi.com, I saw this headline: Kessler, 40, dies after heart attack.

www.ebaptisthealthcare.org

In case you didn't follow the link, let me tell you about this guy. He was a star for the University of Georgia basketball team. He was a 1st Round NBA draft pick (Miami Heat). Before he was picked, though, he applied to Emory Medical School, and was given a deferment. He got a phat contract and played for 4 years. Then he came back and went to medical school. With me.

It's hard to miss someone who's 6'7" during orientation, and the whispers started immediately. By the end of the first day, I think everyone knew we had a celebrity in our class -- with the possible exception of Alec. He could have taught Superman humility. He never brought up his basketball days, but was willing to discuss them if you wanted to. [He even played for our intramural team when the rest of us cut out for Mardi Gras.] He laughed along when we showed a slide of his basketball card in a lecture. He was always quietly near the top of the class, and willing to help anyone who asked. When he probably could have stood aloof, he came to most of the happy hours and parties with us, often accompanied by his fireball wife, Rhea, who was taking on City Hall to build a gazebo.

We ran in different crowds, but I consider him a good person and counted him as a friend. I see death everyday, and I've had family members die, but I don't think I've ever read the obituary of a friend. It's a little unsettling. Medical students are notorious for feeling immortal. I wasn't sure I was indestructible, but I would have bet Alec was. I've also been in CA 5 years, and felt like I could always catch up with my friends from medical school later. Guess I was wrong.

If anyone else from Emory happens to find this blog, send me something -- if you don't, I'll probably be tracking you down soon.

Trust me -- the world just lost a great doctor and a great guy. My sympathies to his wife and kids. Alec, may you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you're dead.

In the Top Ten

2007-10-14T22:12:00.000-07:00

I got out of work early Saturday and came home to watch Penn State vs. Wisconsin. Once my Lions had won, I switched over to the marathon Kentucky/LSU game. Through the drama, I must admit I was struck by Kentucky's sophomore place kicker. Good still face shot (which is rare), cute close-ups after his kicks, and an earring in each ear. (Seen here from scoreboards.aol.com)

I wasn't the only one who noticed him -- the national TV announcers made a comment. Something about how rare it was that a game saving kicker in the SEC would have both ears pierced. Note that many huge, manly running backs and wide receivers wear tons of jewelry. But a slight young kicker? That's news.

I don't know if my kicker is gay, straight, metro, or trying to be fashionable. And I don't think it matters. I'm not thrilled the announcers were so shocked by his appearance. But on national TV, for the first time I've heard, they basically said that your talent might be important to a football team even if you're perceived as less than macho. I think it's progress.

Kentucky's win vaulted them into the Top Ten and the national spotlight. Maybe a baby-faced kicker with two piercings brought some tolerance along for the ride.

My favorite commercial

2007-09-30T19:14:00.001-07:00

I liked the original version of this commercial just because the guy putting on his jeans is HOT. Look who shows up in the phone booth on this one, though.

I first saw it on Logo during reruns of QasF. No one seems to believe me that it exists, so I thought I'd post it. I wish they'd dare to put it on regular network TV. Given the rumors, maybe they could dub in Wentworth and Lucas and run it during Prison Break. Or during the next run of Sen. Craig's coverage.

Why was this man crying over an "amicus brief"?

2007-09-20T17:03:00.000-07:00

signonsandiego.com

This is Jerry Sanders, the mayor of San Diego. I really didn't know much about him, except that he is a former police chief and a Republican.

In case you haven't been following the progress of the radical gay agenda, the California Supreme Court is soon to take up the question of whether or not California should allow gay marriages. As best I understand it, this is meant to encompass the lawsuits related to the weddings allowed in San Francisco and the constitutionality a California law restricting marriage to a union between a man and a woman.

A number of California cities have filed "friend of the court", or "amicus" briefs with the court in support gay marriage. The San Diego City Council considered filing a brief a few weeks ago, but the issue was tabled on a 4-4 vote when one expected ally of the LGBT community said she would not vote for the measure for procedural reasons. When the Council planned to take up the issue again, Mayor Sanders said he would veto any such measure. While the Council can override a mayoral veto with a simple majority, the time lag could have made it impossible for San Diego to file such a brief by next Wednesday's deadline.

There was little surprise when the City Council passed a resolution to file an amicus brief on Tuesday. What shocked many was the news yesterday that Mayor Sanders had changed his mind and would sign the bill.

His reason -- turns out his daughter is a lesbian. In his words, choking back tears:

"In the end, I could not look any of them in the face and tell them that their relationships -- their very lives -- were any less meaningful than the marriage that I share with my wife."

Amen, your honor.

I'm not quite as proud to be his constituent as I was to be Mayor Newsom and Speaker Pelosi's, but it's close. I may not vote for him, but I'll think about it. He probably has a lot of stances I don't like, but at least I know what he'll do when his heart and his politics collide. That's saying something these days. Whatever Kool-Aid he's been drinking, I wish he'd pass it along to some other politicians of both parties -- maybe even, as Sen. Clinton would say, Darth Vader.

upload.wikipedia.com

The Rest of the Story

2007-09-19T23:13:00.000-07:00

***Editor's Note - I've had this half written for a while, but I couldn't decide if/when to post it. After Jimmy's attempt to provide the details of this story on the Dan and Jimmy Sex Show, I thought I'd round out the tale for you.***

If you've been under a rock and haven't noticed, primetime TV offers a steady stream of medical shows. To name just a few (in order?): Quincy; Trapper John, MD; MASH; St. Elsewhere; ER; Scrubs; House; Nip'Tuck.

I watched ER religiously through my first 2 years of medical school. We'd get together for "Must See TV" every Thursday. For a while, we started at 8:00, but when the 8:30 and 9:30 shows went south, we'd meet at 9:00, watch the tape (yes, VHS tape for those who remember) of Friends, then Seinfeld, then ER.

After our M2 year, we stopped watching. We got busier, and the inaccuracies, both in medical information and lifestyle, started to annoy us. Plus, I think the show "jumped the shark" with Dr. Green's brain tumor.

I didn't really watch another medical show until Scrubs. I think people dismissed it as a goofy comedy; they enjoyed it, but it didn't grab their imagination. Enter Grey's Anatomy.

Suddenly, everyone was excited about medicine again. And I was peppered with questions. [Also, I found out that the gay members (and some women) of the administrative staff were calling me Dr. McSteamy:)]

"Did your boss ever do ____ to you?" (Varies w/ the ____)
"Have you ever had sex in a call room?" (No, but I know married and unmarried couples who have.)
"Is residency really like that?"

NO -- residency is NOT like Grey's Anatomy. (For the record, the show takes it's name from a classic textbook that Emory didn't use.) My pat answer, and I stand by it, is that residency is most like SCRUBS, except that we don't get even that much action. As Monty Python would say, Grey's Anatomy was "right out".

Or so I thought. I finally had a Grey's worthy encounter a couple of months ago. It's tough to decide when to write about a boy -- you don't want to kill a budding relationship by telling the world about him. Or even the 15 people who ready your blog. Since he's married to a woman (as mentioned previously), I think it's safe.

I'd seen this guy a ton of times at his place of work (I believe Jimmy mentioned what he did, but I won't -- you'll have to listen to the podcast). But I'd never talked to him. Didn't even know if he was gay. I finally saw him out at a gay bar -- so my uncertainty was down to whether or not he was interested in me. A week later, I was out at Mo's and saw him walk in. My friends had been trying to set me up with a cute Latin boy, but he smoked (not a total deal breaker, but I'd generally rather kiss the tobacco plant). So I turned to a friend, pointed him out, and said, "the hottest guy in the world just walked in".

I'm not sure he agreed with me, but he encouraged me to go talk to him. I said, "No, he's way too cute for me." So I just stared at him a lot. Until he caught me looking. So I took a deep breath, went over to him, and said (without another breath):

"My name's Joel I've seen you at [work] a million times but never talked to you I think you're really cute can I by you a drink."

Despite the verbal barrage, he said "Yes. Why haven't you ever talked to me at work."

"I don't like to hit on people at their work. Plus, I figure it happens to you a lot, and I didn't want to be the 1000th person to annoy you at work by asking you out." Note the commas -- I did start breathing again.

We chatted a bit, and he offered me his business card. Unfortunately, he made it sound like it was actually for business reasons. Full of liquid courage, I said "Actually, I wasn't looking to have you [work with] me. I was hoping to take you out for coffee or a drink." At which point he said, "That's OK, too. The number is my cell."

After a few phone calls and texts, we finally got a date together. We had planned to meet on Sunday afternoon for a drink. He called to say he was tired -- but wanted to go. I offered that we could go out later in the evening after he took a nap, but he said, "No, if I go home, I won't make it back. Let's go grab a drink now, but I might not last too long." Famous last words.

We tried to go to Martini's, but there was a private party. So we ended up at #1 on Fifth, where we chatted over Heinekens. It turned out he plays pool in a league similar to the one in which I played. We shot some pool there, but the table was busy, so we went to The Loft. He was better than me, but one or both of us stayed on the table for something like 3 hours. I stuck with beer, but he moved on to cocktails. That probably helped me win the game on which we staked "position".

Before we left the bar, we were taking lecherous comments about our bodies from a couple of older gentlemen (and I use the term loosely). To drive home how good his was, my boy started doing one armed push-ups. Yum. I flex my brain and told them what muscles they'd have to work on to perform this feet. I think they were more impressed with him. Me too.

As we left, I told him I wouldn't let him drive home. He didn't protest.

"Do you have a place to stay?"

No answer.

"Are you going to stay at my place?".

"Yes!"

So we went to my place, got naked, and got it on. Grunts. Moans. BEEP! Grunts. BEEP!. Moans.

"Shit, did you hear that BEEP? Hang on a sec."

Yup, my pager had gone off. And I had to answer it. My date was not amused. He chased me into the living room and tried to grab me. Then he tried to take the phone away from me while I was talking with my resident. He begged me to get off the phone, but I couldn't. So he did something else while he was down there -- and it was the best time I've ever had on the phone.

That's as close as this doctor's life has gotten to the steaminess of Grey's Anatomy.

Sadly, I can almost always match the drama. We had a pleasant rest of the evening. The next day, I went back to the bar, got the jacket he left there, and got it back to him that night. He still returns calls and messages, but we never had a second date -- he said it was business, not lack of interest, but who knows. San Diego is a small gay town, so I'm glad we're at least still friendly when we run into each other.

And as Paul Harvey (and now Sen/Actor/Candidate Thompson) would say...that's the rest of the story.

Don't Mess With a Classic

2007-08-29T16:54:00.000-07:00

www.avclub.us

I admit it: I am a picky eater.

There are classes of things I don't like (e.g, seafood), specific foods I don't like (e.g., mushrooms), and classes of things I don't like in specific circumstances (e.g., gourmet foods on pizza -- hell, I don't even really want vegetables on my pizza). Sometimes its the taste (seafood again), sometimes its the texture (mushrooms again) and sometimes its the taste, or lack thereof, combined with the texture (tofu). I also like to be able to identify the components of what I am eating.

Dating is always an adventure. Sharing is either tough for me or boring for my suitor. Sushi invariably comes up and becomes an argument.

"Have you ever tried it?" Yes. I'm 34 now, and have lived in Baltimore, Atlanta, San Francisco, and San Diego. C'mon people.

"You'll like [insert restaurant]'s. Their's is the best." By this time, we've usually established that I don't like anything that lived in the water. No preparation will change this -- it still tastes like fish, crustacean, eel, etc. If you ever take me out and I eat seafood, it means I REALLY like you.

I could just claim I'm allergic, but as a matter of pride I don't. I could claim I'm Jewish, but then I couldn't order anything with bacon. It's not even that the foods make me gag -- I just want something I like if I'm going to pay that much for it. I don't care what you order, and it doesn't disgust me to have it one the table.

There are two ways for a picky eater to order food. One is to ask about everything in the dish, and reject it or modulate it. If it's as simple as asking people to hold the olives, I may do that. Not wanting to sound like Sally, though, I usually go for option #2: order something safe. (In most sushi restaurants, that's the chicken teriyaki.) Which brings us around to the today's title.

Monday I ate out. I found a little Italian place on 5th with a cheap but drinkable house Chianti. The first time I had the spaghetti and meatballs, which were excellent. This time, I tried the chicken parmesan -- a classic safe dish for me: breaded chicken, sauce, and mozzerella. What could go wrong?

Mushrooms. It came to the table with pasta on the left and something mountainous covered in slightly burnt cheese to the right. I cut into it thinking, "Wow, that's a lot of chicken!". Nope -- what it was was a mountain of mushrooms atop a fairly normal sized serving of barely breaded chicken. As the mushrooms, cheese, and sauce were melted together, they ended up on the now empty bread plate together. And I had pasta with breaded chicken.

Last night I stayed at home because someone was supposed to call me about dinner. They never did. So, already in a bad mood, I ordered in pizza and a Caesar salad. As I was alone, I got to pick the toppings on the pizza, so what could go wrong? Olives and tomatoes. I usually like tomatoes, but I'm not a fan of olives. Neither, though, belong on a Caesar salad.

When I order a classic dish, I expect it to be prepared as I've had it 100 times. Is it wrong for a chef to experiment? No. Just put it in the menu so the picky (and allergic) can make an informed decision. I'm not going to order chicken parm with mushrooms; however, find a way to add bacon and I'm your man.

Speaking of Italian classics, it looks like there is an attempt to remake the Sopranos coming. Except that it will be on network TV, it's about a family of rum barons, and Jimmy Smits heads up what Newsweek suggested was an attractive Latin cast. There's a spin on a classic that's right up my ally.

Paging -- Necessary, but not benign

2007-08-20T19:45:00.001-07:00

I am frequently involved in battles with staff about the appropriateness of pages. In the end, many people say -- "Why does it bother you? We just want to give you information".

This is a valid argument on it's face. What could be bad about information? I've made this very argument to people who ask why I will talk to pharmaceutical representatives. I like information. It's what you do with it that is important. If I don't need that information or recommendation, I can just chuck it. (We'll leave turf wars and condescension out of it for now.)

The problem is that every page distracts you from something else, and it can be dangerous. This evening, I have an example I can share, because it doesn't involve patients. I left the hospital a bit before 5, and I hate going to the gym at peak hour. So I came home, cleaned up a bit, watched Countdown (without Keith tonight), and prepared to hit the gym at 6. At 5:40, I was packing my bag with magazines, my lock, and a towel.

At 5:41, my pager went off. I spent the next 40 minutes on the phone answering pages about a possible transfer. The only ones I deem "bad pages" were the ones to numbers that didn't exist, but hey, I've made that mistake. By 6:30 I had tied up the situation, picked up my bag, and went to the gym. When I got there, I realized I had grabbed my work bag, not my gym bag. Since I didn't have a towel, and my cash was in the other bag, I had to bail.

The only things harmed this time were my dreams of ripped abs, but that's not always the case. Sometimes, there's a slightly more imporant decision on the line than which bag to take to the gym. In those instances, I usually check my plan twice. But I make mistakes, especially when I'm distracted. (Sometimes, like at Lei Lounge, what distracts me becomes the mistake, but that's a different story.)

In short, the benefits of the page need to outweigh the risk of distracting me. Pages that are not likely to be beneficial are therefore mostly just risky. So next time I'm venting about being paged for normal lab values, it's not (entirely) because I'm a prickly egomaniac -- I'm just trying to keep myself, or someone else, healthy.

The Logo Forum

2007-08-09T21:17:00.000-07:00

I just got back from watching the Logo Presidential Forum at Bourbon Street. Here are my thoughts.

Best Friend - Rep. Dennis Kucinich, with former Sen. Mike Gravel not far behind. Pro rights, pro marriage. In fact, neither Rep. Kucinich nor the panelists could come up with anything that the LGBT community wanted that he wouldn't support. Unfortunately, he comes across as wanting to have Congress get in a big circle and sing Kumbaya. In other words, I'm afraid he's not electable; though, to paraphrase the candidate, he's only unelectable if you don't vote for him.

Best Performance - Sen. Clinton. I think they were a little easier on her than they were on Sens. Obama and Edwards, but she still did great. While the others were interrogated, she seemed to be in charge of a friendly chat -- you could almost imagine her pouring tea. She espoused the same "civil unions yes, marriage no" position as Sens. Obama and Edwards, but sounded a lot better.

Best Question - The very first one to Sen. Obama, grilling him on marriage vs. unions and separate but equal. I e-mailed in a similar question (check earlier posts for my similar analysis of the gay marriage issue). I just wish he had posed it so bluntly to everyone.

Where were you? -- Sens. Dodd and Biden. When you're a "second tier" candidate, you don't snub a relatively wealthy constituency with an 80% voter turn-out. They just confirmed the idea that they're not serious candidates.
An honorable mention goes to all the Republican candidates, who must have figured they'd lose more votes by showing up than they could hope to gain. Or they felt it was too dangerous to step into the crosshairs of Melissa Etheridge's intense scrutiny.

Crashed and Burned -- Gov. Richardson. In theory, I like this guy and his resume. But he really blew it on the gay marriage question. Not by saying that it wasn't realistic, or that the country wasn't there yet. I can deal with that answer -- in some ways that's better than Sen. Edwards, who isn't there himself. But at least Sen. Edwards is honest about it -- when Melissa asked Gov. Richardson if he would sign legislation allowing gay marriage, he showed (by declining to say he would do so) he's not there yet either. He just doesn't want to admit it.

Best Word: Sen. Obama, the self proclaimed "Hope-monger".

Moment I Almost Cried: When Melissa talked about Inauguration Week 1993. I wasn't out then, but I know how she felt, because I felt the same way. I was a College Democrat, and a Young Democrat, and I got to attend the Inauguration and the Youth Ball. We listened to President Clinton's speech in the cold January weather, kept warm by the belief that we had just changed the world. I still have my mock National HealthCare card (anyone else remember "Health Care That's Always There") and my "Vote 4 a Change" T-shirt.
Within 2 years, healthcare reform been halted by a Democratic Congress and President, Don't Ask, Don't Tell became the law of the land, and Newt Gingrich took the Speaker's gavel. All that was left was triangulation and an economic engine that kept the country going right on the same homophobic track.
I thinks that's my big question about Hillary. Can we trust her to fulfill the promises she and Bill made the first time? Or will she, like her husband, falter under the pressures of alleged "realism" and the desire to win again in 2012?

To be continued...

I want what I want

2007-08-06T18:27:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted. It's been a busy two months. I've been working a lot, and working on other stuff when I'm not in the hospital (there may be more on this later). The last few days, I've been holding out because I wanted to come back with something happy, rather than in-depth political analysis or a rant. So here it is.

I've been saying I want a relationship, or at least the start of one, for a while. I just haven't found a way to meet guys outside of the bar scene (softball in SD isn't what it is in SF). I've always prided myself on keeping "hook-ups" to people I'd be willing to date. Recently, I find I've been straying from even those minimal criteria, I think out of sheer frustration.

Recently, I had a third date. We had a nice brunch and got back to my place before 3:00. Both of us were feeling lazy, so we decided to watch something OnDemand. We ended up watching Friends With Money, Scary Movie 4, Little Miss Sunshine, an episode of Big Love, and 2 episodes of Sex and the City.

We didn't do anything but lie next to each other and kiss occasionally. And it was a hell of a lot better than most of the more "intimate" -- scratch that -- "physical" things I've done in a while. He left around 10:00, and I slept better than I have in ages.

I don't know how it will go with this guy -- nothing's ever simple, and my usual timing issues may be coming into play. But I'd been wanting something more towards a relationship for a while, without knowing if I was really ready, or if I'd even like it. Sort of like studying hard to get a job you've never done. Even if it doesn't work with this particular man, it's nice to have some evidence that if I ever get what I want, I'll like it.

My rating

2007-06-18T22:27:00.002-07:00

I saw this on Dan's blog, then Jimmi's, then everywhere. So I had to check my rating.

My points came from saying "gay", "abortion", and "sex". I guess I'll have to say "gay" more often to get that coveted NC-17 (though I agree with my friends -- I'm not sure why saying gay should worsen your rating). Regardless, my blog is still more exciting than a Fantastic Four sequel.

All the good ones are...

2007-06-16T22:22:00.000-07:00

(a)...gay?
(b)...married?
(c)...taken?
(d) a and b
(e) all of the above ?!?!?
(Here comes the foreshadowed venting!)

I made it through 5+ years of being gay without ever hooking-up with a married man. That includes 4+ years in San Francisco. Mostly I just had to hope for (a) and against (c). Except for a few days in San Francisco or a recent visit to Massachusetts, (b) and therefore (d) were rarely a problem with the boyz.

Until I moved to San Diego. I met a nice guy out, took him to Martini's for a date, and noticed a ring on his left index finger. Turned out he was military, and in a "marriage of convenience" to a colleague to get more money and better housing. Not much more to say about this one -- he just quit calling. (See The $25,000 Pyramid) I did run into him at Martini's a few weeks ago. He came up and acted like I hadn't called him. He wanted my number again. As Blondie would say, I'm still "Hangin' on the Telephone".

So I met another guy, this time at a bachelor auction at The Brass Rail (neither of us was on the block). Same story - military, married, not really together. He wasn't married to a random colleague, but to his best (female) friend. This one may have ended with more of a whimper -- we texted/emailed about getting together for a third date, but it never happened. Then we got busy with our own stuff. I say may have because I ran into him in LA, so we'll see.

On to my most recent crush. We hooked up once (a good story to which I'll be getting) and we've been messaging each other for about 6 weeks. He said he wanted to go out again, but was very busy. To his credit, he almost always returns texts or calls -- only it's a day later, usually combining an apology for the night before with a reason he's busy tonight. Two weeks into this, I saw him out. Under the influence of liquid courage, I flat out asked him, "Are you busy or not interested? Because if your not interested, just tell me and I'll leave you alone. If you're really interested but busy, I'll wait, because I know what it's like to be busy."

"I'm interested. Really!" he said.

4 weeks later we were still trading texts and messages. I ran into him the day I got back from LA. I asked him how things were going, and he launched into a monologue "I changing jobs...blah blah...I have to tell my roommate I'm moving...da dat da dat...it's taking me a long time to get over my cold...yada yada...and by the way, I'm getting MARRIED."

"To a man?" I asked, with what was likely a very odd expression.

"No, a woman" he said. "It's complicated."

I would guess so. Our hook-up made it pretty clear he likes the boyz, but I didn't feel I really had any clout to demand an explanation. Which does not mean I don't hope to get the story eventually. And, perhaps, him. He said he'd "catch up with me later".

Which brings us to the trifecta, AKA (e). I met a very sweet guy in LA (the friend of the guy I had seen in SD). We had drinks, made out a bit at Pride, and then had a very nice dinner at Hamburger Mary's, during which our blood alcohol levels went down, but the heat did not. He also had a ring on, and is married to his best female friend. We texted the next couple of days. I didn't hear from him Wed/Thurs, but figured he was busy. So Friday I texted him to say "Hi". Somehow we went from "Can't wait to see you again" to "I have to tell you that I am back with my ex" in 3 days. Gay, married, and taken. How do I find these guys?

Mostly, I think it's time to find those "romantic timing" lessons again. To finish the venting, another guy I met who was busy (with good reason) the next week went from texts of "most def" (Want to have dinner with me?) to fairly incommunicado in an 8 day period during which I didn't see him (so I couldn't have done anything that bad). I don't get it.

I guess I can't say that no one likes me -- they just seem not to like me for very long. Even if they haven't seen me again.

My hopes are currently riding on a good first date late Thursday. Unfortunately, he's not free again until next Thursday. Given the above, I'm already skeptical. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. My ass.

Note: I'm making no value judgments on marriages of convenience in the military. I've never had to deal with those issues. I'll just admit it makes me a little uncomfortable.

It's still a small, small, gay world

2007-06-15T23:01:00.000-07:00

And sometimes cruel. But we'll get to the venting later.

About 5 months ago, I wrote about meeting people from SF in SD. (Cue the Disney...) It turns out this was NOTHING compared to LA Pride.

I'd already planned to stay in Burbank with a good friend of mine that I really wanted to see. As those plans were being made, one of my friends from SD moved to WeHo, so I met up with him Friday. I was an hour late because of traffic from a Morrissey concert, but like a sweetie, he waited.

When I got to the Abbey, I couldn't find my friend. I thought I heard someone yell "Doctor Joel". I spun around, but figured I needed my ears cleaned because none of the 4 people I know in LA call me that. So I found my friend JC, and while we were at the bar getting Mojitos I heard it again. "Doctor Joel!".

But this time it was followed by a stranger running up to me. It was Darin (1) from All Preparation and No H, who recognized me from pictures on the blogs of mutual friends. A little startling, but awesome, and I look forward to seeing him on my next trip to see Jimmi and his new digs.

After the Abbey, we went to Fiesta Cantina, where I ran into a guy I've gone out with a couple of times in SD (2). He seemed mad that we hadn't gone out in a while, then rather happy to see me.

Then we went to Mickey's and met some boys, one of whom was an MD. All seemed to be going well until they ditched us to go back to Long Beach.

Saturday was fairly uneventful -- I retrieved my car and went back to my friend's place in Burbank to sleep. We went out for dinner, then came back for a good night's sleep. The only real events were a waiter who ogled me and called me "sexy" and getting offerred a "bump" of coke. I left the waiter my digits on the check (I hadn't done that in a while, but hey, it's Pride). The coke offerer got a weird look and a "No thanks".

Sunday, I went out for the parade. I ran into two old friends from San Francisco who were in town from the AIDS vaccine bike ride. One was an old hook-up (still friendly)(3), and one was basically the boy I always liked but with whom I never got to square one(4). We did the usual -- Hi, hug, quick cheek kiss, good to see you, how ya been, gotta go.

After the parade we had a couple of drinks at a lesbian bar (they've gone boy hunting with me plenty of times). My friend was worried that her nipples were showing too much. I pointed out that my shirt was worse (and by that I mean better) because if a boy blew in my ear, everyone would see my nips. This led to a general chorus of "A boy, huh?" and a gorgeous lesbian (not one of the ladies in the picture, who are gorgeous, too) caressing my ear w/ her tongue and mouth in an attempt to get my nipples hard (and stamp my bi-card).

After that, we tried to go to the Abbey. Due to the line around the corner, we ended up back at the Cantina. First, I met a guy from Denver who is coming to SD soon. Then I saw a guy I was pretty sure I had seen at Mo's in SD. Turns out I did (5) -- he's from Long Beach, but comes down to visit. I also met his friend, who seemed to like me, and who had dinner with me as we soberred up well enough to drive.

So the tally: I knew 4 people in LA when I headed up there, and only saw 2 of them. I ran into 5 people that I knew from elsewhere. And I didn't even get to meet up with the guy I've been myspacing (he had a good reason, though) or the friend from SF I knew was down there (sorry, Tony). Small world.

Oh, and did I forget to mention Miss Potato Spud 1969?

Avandia, Tuberculosis, and Terrorism

2007-06-06T21:30:00.000-07:00

Yes, I’m really going to pull all this together.

Let’s start with some basic chemistry. All processes are in an equilibrium.

www.informika.ru

You never get to 100% in any direction, because freedom and disorder (entropy) are the driving forces of the universe. Not surprisingly, the closer you get to 100%, the more effort you usually have to put in to take the next step. It may not be worth it.

We’ve learned this in medicine. If you read most medical studies, you’ll see something called a “p-value”. This is statistical lingo for how likely it is that your results were due to random chance, instead of whatever you were trying to do/prove. To put it in evangelist Republican terms: pretend someone is flipping a coin, and you’re “p”raying for heads everytime. And 90 out of 100 times, heads comes up. The p-value tells you how likely that result was due to the fact that "coins do that sometimes", versus the fact that your "p"rayers did it.

In medicine, we consider a “p-value” less than 0.05 “significant” Which basically means the chances are 5% or less that the results were just dumb luck rather than reflecting your “intervention”: a drug, a surgery, a diet. Flip it around, and it could mean that about 5% of things we consider “proven” in medicine could be wrong. It’s actually probably less than that, because we REALLY like p-values of <0.1%. style="font-style: italic;">

www.magiclickgames.com

Avandia is a drug for diabetes, and studies showed that it lowered blood sugar. It’s now under fire for increasing the risk of a heart attack. DISCLAIMER: I haven’t reviewed these papers recently. It seems that there were some data suggesting this, but it was thought that the benefit against diabetes would outweigh other risks. We MAY have been wrong.

There’s another issue here called surrogate endpoints, and I may address it later, but I don’t have a good example at the moment. Suffice it to say that we are forced to take a statistical chance that things that look good will be bad, and we MAY have lost on this one. I highlight MAY, because I don’t think all of the facts are in, and I dread the coming barrage of ads saying, “Did you take Avandia? Did you have a heart attack? Call me (lawyer) to sue you doctor.” I think FDA approval should insulate MDs, but again, another topic for another day.

Which brings us to tuberculosis. Let’s start with some honesty; when you heard that someone flew in a plane with extremely drug resistant tuberculosis, did you think he would look like this:

www.sciam.com

Me neither. But lay off Dr. Gerberding. She taught me (as did Dr. Leonard, who has been on TV), and I have an incredible amount of respect for her as a physician, a scientist, and a politician. Yes, politician -- ask me, and we'll talk, because I got to talk to her about it.

First, I’m not a lawyer, but my understanding is that it is hard for the CDC to detain someone – actually is the job of the public health department of the city/county (though some things have changed since 9/11). Why do I know? As a training physician, we had to work on detaining someone who wanted to go home with TB. This is how you look at it.

Tb is contagious by respiratory particles. They do linger, but if you are NOT coughing, you are rarely infectious, though you still have the disease. From what I have read, Mr. Speaker was not coughing. In fact, sputum that he coughed up has been analyzed for TB, and 3 samples were negative. This is what a smear with TB [AKA acid-fast bacilli(AFB)] looks like:

www.bact.wisc.edu
On this stain, the tuberculosis organisms show up in red.

In a hospital, if you are (-) for AFB on 3 sputums, we take down the respiratory precautions. Is it 100% safe? No. We could, in fact, put everyone with a postivie PPD (that little bubble test on your skin) in quarantine. Or anyone from a country with a lot of TB. Why don’t we?

First of all, 3 negative cough samples suggests a less than 5% chance (estimate) that you are contagious, which, as discussed above, is about as good as we get in medicine. Second, the cost of quarantining the rest of the people, who are unlikely to be infectious, is HUGE. If you look at medicine in general, the money could be better spent. Finally, to take away the freedom of people who are so unlikely to be a problem is NOT (supposed) to be what we do in this country.

Which brings us to terrorism. For further information, read Fareed Zakaria’s piece in NewsWeek (that guy is awesome).

Benjamin Franklin said " The man who trades freedom for security does not deserve, nor will he receive, either.” I agree. But we’ve gone way beyond sacrificing freedom. At the most recent Republican debate, someone asked “What is the most pressing moral issue facing this country today?” Most of the candidates discussed some version of the “sanctity of life”. (I’m going to address this quickly in another post.) Congressman Ron Paul, who is probably more of a Libertarian than a Republican, said "I think it is the acceptance just recently that we now promote preemptive war. I do not believe that’s part of the American tradition." And it's all done in the name of "Homeland Security".

To recap – NOTHING can be 100%. Chemistry can’t. Drugs can’t. Medicine can’t. So guess what – security can’t be either.

Given the field of Republicans who hate gays and a woman’s right to privacy, there are things I like about Mayor Rudy Guiliani. Unfortunately, he is clearly this election cycle’s “fear-monger”. His alleged strength is “National Security”, and his best path to victory is to scare people about “Islamic Terrorists” and “what they want to do to us”.

I’m worried about terrorism, too. I’ll give President Bush some credit – we haven’t been attacked again. I’ll even admit that for security concerns, sometimes it takes a while to find out just what the dangers were. But we’ve probably gone a little overboard. Doubt me? I give you Bill Maher:"Nixon got in trouble for illegally wire-tapping Democratic headquarters. Bush is illegally wire-tapping the entire country."

We need to accept that a free society can never be 100% secure. 9/11 was a wake up call to get serious – as Europe has been for some time. It wasn’t a reason to pursue an isolationist, pre-emptive strategy that destroyed the world’s good-will for us (Senators Clinton, Obama, Edward -- this applies to you, too, despite your desire to seem "strong" on security.) I think we’re probably 99.0% safe. The money and liberty that would need to be sacrificed to get that last 1% would be better applied to re-building the European, Asian, and Islamic worlds’ opinion of us. Or on health care. Your choice.

A Better Day

2007-05-30T18:25:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned, I had a bad work week. Those of you who have been to my myspace may have noticed an indicative change in song (at least one of you did). It's changed again.

I actually wrote a detailed post about work, but had the foresight to send it to my Dad for editing before I published it. Given that someone from work could google my name and find my blog, he thought it was a little too specific and could be problematic. So it sits in the Posting bin -- you may yet see it in a milder form.

Today was my equivalent of a spa day. I got up and did the puzzles in the Union-Tribune over coffee and a pastry. Then I got a haircut (a little too short, unfortunately -- my usual guy was closed). Then off to the gym.

I've been pretty good lately -- for about 7 weeks I've lifted at least twice a week (usually 3x) and have done cardio at least 4 times, including the SF trip (though I counted walking). A friend of Sue's that I had met once in Hawaii and ran into in SF told me I already looked bigger:). Sadly, the weight hasn't changed much.

Today was a "flexors" day. Back x 3, Rear shoulders x2, Biceps x2, Calves, and Hammies. Since I didn't have to work, I also did Abs x 2 and 40 minutes of cardio to work on the gut and work off tonight's trip to Flicks. The hottie trainer was there and we chatted briefly, so I was feeling pretty good.

So good, in fact, I decided to add one more thing. Right now, I'm benching 145 X 12, 165 X 10, and 185 X ~5. That's about as good as I've ever been, though I'm on the rise. One thing I've never done, though, was bench my weight. I decided to try. Sadly, all of the benches were in use, so I used a machine. I set the bee-hotch to 200 (a little high) -- no warm ups. I was able to do about 6 of them.

Feeling like the bomb, I came home, cleaned up, and did some manscaping. And, for some odd reason, took pictures. In DanNation style, I leave y'all today's gratuitious picture of, well, me. (It's also a bit of a tribute to one of my favorite former sites, Gay Muscle Boy in Training.)
Check it out now, because it will probably come down when the endorphines wear off.

Maybe next time I won't have to cover the gut with the flex.

Elephants, elections, and the environment

2007-05-29T21:20:00.000-07:00

Despite a busy and crappy last week at work, I had a good gym week. I judge this by how many magazines I get through on the cardio machines. I usually do NewsWeek first, then the Advocate. If I get through those, I usually buy Time or US News. I had to get Time this week, so I read their cover story, "The Last Temptation of Al Gore". I highly recommend it.

I haven't really gotten active in any campaigns yet. I've been quietly supporting Sen. Edwards, watching to see if Sen. Obama is for real, and steeling myself to support Sen. Clinton if Giuliani looks like he's for real (because the Dems will have to win NY). I really had no interest in seeing Al Gore run. Until now.

I don't really have a soft spot for Gore -- I think he blew the 2000 election in a variety of ways. Most notably, he ran away from Bill Clinton's record and support. I find it hard to believe that Clinton couldn't have delivered Arkansas for Gore, and that would have been enough to win.

What intrigued me was the issue more than the man. It reminded me of two books that I read some time ago -- Don't Think of an Elephant (George Lakoff) and What's the Matter With Kansas? (Thomas Frank). Gore has done a wonderful job of bringing the issue of Climate Change (AKA Global Warming, Climate Crisis) to the forefront and organizing a broad coalition of interested parties, from the Sierra Club to investment firms. So wonderful a job, in fact, that the democrats may have a way to get the "heartland" back.

In What's the Matter With Kansas, Frank discusses how Kansas went from an open-minded old west state with a radical streak to a dependable victory for religious conservatives. Especially when the status quo requires people to vote largely against their own economic interests. To grossly oversimplify a good analysis (admittedly for my purposes), Americans have a desire to be part of something bigger or more important than themselves (which is great, by the way). Through a series of savvy moves and coincidental events, many people in Kansas decided it felt good to vote to protect fetuses, more so if it involved sacrificing their own interests.

Since VP Gore has pretty much sold the nation on the facts, I think there is now an opportunity to hi-jack the same American urge to benefit the environment, and thereby the democratic party. The Republican party can NOT highlight abortion this election cycle. Two of their top candidates are pro-choice (Mayor Giuliani) or used to be (Gov. Romney). In addition, the "partial birth" abortion decision by the Supreme Court (and the sexist "reasoning" behind it) might just remind the majority of Americans who support Roe vs. Wade what will happen if a Republican nominates John Paul Stevens' successor.

So fill the "cause" void with a socio-religious spin on the environment -- something to vote on and feel good about, even (or especially) if it involves a sacrifice. The nice thing is that if it works, even a little, it will just keep getting better. In Don't Think of an Elephant, Lakoff has already labelled the environment as a slope issue (or something like that -- I lent out the book and don't have it to look up). The idea is that it will create a positive political feedback for "liberals". It goes something like this:
-- People pick up the enviroment as a issue
-- Environmental groups get more money, which goes to liberal politicians
-- People use alternative fuels
-- Oil companies have less money, make fewer donations, and lose power
-- Other causes get included -- new products lead to better HEALTH CARE, jobs, etc.

VP Gore would likely be the most effective person to bring the issue to the front. And his conversion to a cause driven man of principle has done a lot to enliven his image from its boring, wooden, Naomi-consulted cellar. But is he the only one who can pull it off? Or would he serve the issue, and thereby the party, better as unfetterred issue teacher.

The problem is that there is another obvious top issue -- the war in Iraq. Unfortunately, it's too splintering -- even within the party. Did you vote for the war? Did you vote for the new funding? Are you supporting the troops? Can you keep us secure if we pull out? Gore may be the only one with the clout to make the environment trump the war as an issue (or put them together) and make 2008 an easy democratic victory. Otherwise it will be a tight race, and polls out this week show that Sen. Clinton doesn't beat ANY of the top three republicans head to head.

Go Al!?!

Rambling Thoughts

2007-05-20T19:30:00.000-07:00

I'm one week into my two week work swing, but I got a little break this afternoon. For some reason, I'm in one of those moods when I don't feel lame for not going out, so I thought I'd post something. Unfortunately, I didn't have anything on the tip of my tongue (fingers). So here are some random thoughts from the past couple of weeks.

-- When did pregnancy again become the worst result of unprotected sex? A couple of weeks ago, I had "The New Adventures of Old Christine" on as background noise. I don't really know the players, but the thrust of the episode was that Christine had slept, unprotected, with a man (I think her ex). I came in late, but the entire episode was about her fear of pregnancy, and how a pregnancy would affect here swinging single life. There was no mention of HIV, AIDS, or STD's. On the heels of this, I saw the trailers for "Knocked Up". I obviously haven't seen it yet, but the entire trailer was about a hook-up that produced a child. No obvious concern about STDs.
I know these things are downers for a comedy, and I wouldn't expect a full episode on them (though it could provide your Emmy/Oscar clips), but come on, show a little responsibility. Heterosexual transmission is real. By the way, it's not hard to make a visit to a clinic amusing-- have you seen "The 40 Year-Old Virgin"?

-- I really wasn't ready to admire John Ashcroft. I don't plan to put him up for sainthood, but the recent reports of his strength against domestic surveillance are impressive. To paraphrase: "Don't resign until I can resign with you." Damn. I would have drawn my line in the sand/constitution in a different place, but ya gotta respect his stance at his line.

-- I avoided internet dating for a long time -- it just didn't seem natural to me. When I moved to San Diego, I joined a few sites as a way to meet people. I've met some seemingly nice guys, and things seem to go well by e-mail. Then they send me their phone numbers. At which point I wig out and don't call. Why am I comfortable talking on-line or in person, but not on the phone? Any budding psychologists or experienced gay boyz with insight?

-- Is "I can't ever remember to take my pills" a reason to keep someone in the hospital on intravenous medications?

-- I may keep HBO just for "Real Time".

-- The only thing politicaly weirder than admiring John "Cover Those Breasts" Ashcroft? Agreeing with Newt Gingrich. But there it is. His idea of 9 weekly dialogs from Labor Day to Election Day, 90 minutes each with two candidates (at least) and no moderator, is brilliant. Check it out at www.newt.org. (I know, I'm linking to Newt. It's only fair. Trust me, I won't vote for him. Except, perhaps, in a cross-over primary so he can get crushed by John/Hillary/Barak).

-- Less than two months to the next Harry Potter movie. And book. Also, I agree with the person who posted on my myspace -- Peter Jackson should direct "The Hobbit".

-- Is "my myspace" redundant?

-- Should I continue to drink my stash of Sonoma wine while I blog (and listen to The Jimmi and Dan Variety Cast), or should I save it for a more special occasion and buy cheap stuff for the former. Or, did we have a drink together if I drink while writing and you drink while reading?

Dear Cingular and Papa Johns,

2007-05-11T12:50:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to let you know that I can read AND do math, sometimes simultaneously. Also, I have some general knowledge of business practice.

For instance, my experience has been that when one buys in bulk, one pays less per item. So Papa John, I will not be buying Two Large Two Topping pizzas for the privilege of paying a dollar more than twice the price of one Large Pizza w/ Up to Two Toppings.

Honestly.

With regard to your generous offer of a discounted new phone, Cingular, I was touched. That BlackJack for which I've been jonesing for only 149.99. Wow! After almost 5 years as a customer, most recently with two phones, it was nice to know that you placed a value on my "loyalty".

Curiously, though, I saw a recent TV add offering ANYONE a BlackJack for 149.99. By my math:

$149.99 [normal price] - $149.99 [my price] = $0.00 [benefit of loyalty]

I'm less touched. I may have to come get the BlackJack now, though, before you learn business practice from a pizza chain and try to charge me more for loyalty. Or maybe I'll skip the pizza and the phone and donate some money to the school system that leaves anyone susceptible to these offers.

Sincerely,

Doctor Joel

Thomas Wolfe Can Kiss My Ass!

2007-05-07T21:52:00.000-07:00

When I took my new job, I switched my schedule around with some of my colleagues. It didn't matter much to me at the time, so I didn't pay attention to the dates. When I looked at the schedule for another reason, I found out I had last week off. I talked to Sue, who told me to come up and take her to wine country. In floating the idea to some of the SF crowd, I found out it was a good friend's 25th birthday. That clinched it.

I went home again.

With all appropriate apologies to Mom, Atlanta, and San Diego, San Francisco is, for now, home. It felt like I hadn't missed a beat -- which was wonderful in some ways, and downright frightening in others. It was nice to be caught up on the gossip and drama in just a couple of days; it wasn't so great to be caught up in it. I enjoyed seeing all of my favorite bartenders; but didn't need the returned intensity of my unrequited crushes (nor the predictable random meeting after a night of sappy proposals to him). It was exciting to meet a beautiful man at The Mix again; not so great to have to take him to Beck's motel. I really wish I were kidding about that last one.

Part of me didn't want to leave. It reminded me of my first trip home from college. Erie seemed welcoming, and comfortable, and easy. Baltimore, back then, seemed lonely, and foreign, and hard. Like San Diego now, in some ways.

But just like Erie, I left San Francisco for a reason, and it hasn't gone away. As with my crush, it would probably come quickly to the forefront as soon as the welcome home party wound down. I needed a new job, and new challenges. The nice thing is that if all goes well, I'll probably be able to go back to SF someday.

So, thanks to Sue and Bob and "J and K" (and Becks, of course) for putting me up. Thanks to my old friends, including but not limited to: Chad, Dan and Donnan, Kel, Nick, J-C, Pauly, Phillip, Wes, Kyser, Arthur, The Sins, The Pups, The Mix and Badlands (and bartenders, two in particular) for showing me great time and putting up with me. And thanks to all the new people I met who have given me even more reasons to come back. I had a great time, and hope to see you soon.

BTW -- Some of you could f*****' come to SD -- I have a guest room and a guest bath w/ whirlpool jets. Hell, we could even meet in LA.

I actually shot this photo on the way to SF. I saw the sunset from I-5, but there were no exits or turn-offs coming up. So I snapped this from my window going 85 mph. Not bad, eh?

Happy 100 to Me!

2007-04-28T19:10:00.000-07:00

This is post 100. I toyed with retrospectives, lists, and major announcements, but it was taking too long. Instead,as brevity is the soul of wit, I've decided to keep this to 100 words. Thanks to all of my readers -- I mostly write for me, but it's nice to know you're out there. Thanks to those I've met blogging: you've proven to the skeptics that you can have a "community" on-line, though I wish we could meet in person more often. Stay tuned, I'm working on some new stuff. I hope you'll be with me for the next 100 posts.

OK, People...Calm the F*** Down

2007-04-19T21:13:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned, I am on back-up call this week. That means I need to be nearby and sober. So I've been getting up early and getting things done around the house. To pass the time, I've been listening to news and talk radio (and catching up on the Dan and Jimmi show). I want to make a few comments about the recent events that seem to have both sides of the aisle in a tizzy.

VA Tech
In case you haven't been following the Iraq war, suicide bombing works. If someone wants to kill someone else, and is willing to trade their life to do it, it is damn hard to stop them. Especially if you want to maintain some semblance of a free society. So:
1) There is no proof, nor will there ever be, that stricter gun laws could have stopped THIS tragedy.
2) There is also no proof (Mr. Limbaugh) that less restrictive gun laws would have resulted in a student having a gun and shooting the killer, thus saving lives. Nor would a less politically correct culture have stopped it.
From a medical perspective, I consider it akin to treating high blood pressure. I will never be able to prove to you that taking medicines will keep YOU from having a stroke or heart attack. But I can prove that, in a large population over time, those who take medicines have fewer of both. Similarly, I think the overall data sugget that gun control is a wise way to decrease the number of people who die in violent shootings. So I'm for it, even though I doubt it would have prevented this one. As data come out, it appears a better mental health care system wouldn't hurt, either.

"Partial Birth Abortion"
This is not the end of the world, nor is it the end of "a woman's right to choose" -- a phrase even I think we should chuck. There is no right to choose -- there is a right to privacy that has been interpreted into the Constitution.
First, the Court just said that the law, as written, is not unconstitutional. Justice Kennedy clearly left open the possibility that a challenge to its application would be considered. Honestly, I'll be shocked if it gets that far. The defendant will either be a Doctor who did what s/he thought was best for the patient, or a mother who just had an abortion. I don't see a jury convicting either in this country.
Second, I'm not sure it so terrible for us to be in an officially vague middle ground. The judicial branch is designed to protect minorities and the weak. Roe v. Wade defends the rights of the woman. Since I don't know when ensoulment/individuality occurs, I err on the side of the woman. But I'm also willing to consider the possibility that a potentially viable fetus should be given a chance, and might deserve the protection of the courts as well. If people would stop screaming and start talking, we might be able to get to a place where abortion is, as President Clinton hoped, "legal and rare".
And, third, we could put the money the "Prolifers" and "Pro-choicers" use browbeating each other into the adoption and foster care systems, giving the children a real chance.

BTW - I realize the above ruins any chance I had of running for office as a Democrat. So I'll just have to settle for running Phillip's campaign someday.

Mr. Gonzales
You've seen my prediction on this.
To the Democrats -- this was not an assault on freedom. The President had the authority to fire these folks, and he did so. He just didn't want it to appear political, which it was. So he covered it up, and got caught. Get rid of Gonazles, and let it go.
To the Republicans -- Join the angry mob. I think Sen. Coburn calling for Gonzales' head says it all. From the clips I've seen of his testmony, I'm embarrassed to have him as attorney general. He looked clueless.
Mr. President -- make it go away.

What did scare the hell out of me yesterday was the shooting at the hospital in Tijuana. I was actually thinking about this possibility as I drove home Monday listening to the news about VA Tech. To have it happen so soon was startling.

I don't worry much about terrorists specifically targeting a hospital -- I don't think they'll engender much sympathy specifically targeting the weak, the sick, and the people trying to help them. I say "specifically targeting" because these groups are obviously a large portion of civilian "collateral damage".

But we do treat many victims of attempted murder and domestic violence. Clearly, someone out there would prefer I not succeed in my healing endeavors. While the Emergency Room of a county hospital often has police milling around, the ward floors and community hospitals rarely do. And entrance is wide open, without a metal detector in site. Lest you think nothing bad would happen in a hospital, most have a "Code Pink" protocol. Unlike the familiar "Code Blue", in which we charge in with ventilators and defibrillators, the "Code Pink" requires we try to crash the hospital until we find the person who STOLE A BABY. If people would come in to steal a child, it's not much of a stretch to think they might shoot the mother and her doctor. Especially if they were mentally unstable or on drugs. Not that THAT ever happens.

Sleep well. I may not.

Vacation

2007-04-18T21:12:00.000-07:00

I finished a two week run at the UCSD hospital in La Jolla on April 8. I'm sure I'll get around to venting about it, but let's just say I was glad to have some vacation plans for the following (now past) week. They turned out great, even before they started.

I met someone on Sunday night, and we had a good time. He left Monday morning, in time for me to make my flight. My old roommate and a good friend who lives in LA picked me up at Midway airpot and took me to "Nookies" for dinner. Mmmm...Chicago steak sandwich and onion rings.

Then we did what is for the moment my favorite thing in the world -- Musical Monday at SideTrack. If you haven't been, they play clips from musicals, movies, and shows all night long on all their screens. The whole bar pretty much sings along. Julie Andrews, Madonna, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Best Little Whore House in Texas, West Side Story, Little Shop of Horrors -- you name it. We requested something from The Little Mermaid near the end of the night, and they played "Poor Unfortunate Souls". It got the whole bar going again, so we, of course, felt like the bomb. Except my striaght ex-roommate, who didn't know many of the songs -- but he plans to study up by watching muscials with his girlfriend. Which should have the added benefit of making him seem more sensitive/romantic and getting him more/better sex.

Tuesday, we sat in the bleachers at Wrigley Field for the Cubs/Astros games, which was really the point of the whole trip. The blistering cold was missing (it was mostly sunny, not very windy, and comfortable in a light jacket) but we got the rest of the experience. High-fives with other fans, lots of beer, a dog, and a pretzel. Yelling at the ump. Yelling at the Astros. Yelling at each other -- I'm not kidding. If things were calm for more than 5 minutes, someone on our side (left field) would start yelling "Right field sucks". They yelled back. It was hysterical, especially given that the seats aren't assigned.

The only bad part was the homophobic slurs flying. As we picked up souvenir cups at the end of the game, someone said, "Hey, you're not going to throw those out on the field are you?"

"No," I said. "My friend wants to take some back to her friends in LA".

"Good", he said. "I'm glad you're not one of those queers who throws cups on the field."

I considered saying, "No, I'm just the kind of queer who sleeps with men." But, I thought better of it. My friend from LA points out that, for the most part, it's something they say without meaning anything specific about homosexuals. By and large, I think she's right -- but I still don't like it. And I'm not thrilled I didn't say something, but I haven't really faced that stuff much since I've been out. So, I tried to distract myself from gay issues by thinking about what Cubs jersey I should get. The answer was obvious:

I also picked up a nickname. Someone was waving the above poster. I dared my friend to go meet the guy, which she did. Apparently, he thinks #12 (Alfonso Soriano) is smooth but fierce, so he was trying to get the name to stick. We decided it would never stick for Soriano, but it was too good a name to let go. So I got it.

Wednesday, we were supposed to go to another Cubs game, but it got snowed out. Yes, snowed out -- in April in Chicago (hadn't happened since 1995). During Musical Monday, they played a bunch of numbers from "Wicked", and we had talked about seeing it. So we called the theatre and were told that there were 12 tickets left for the matinee, but they couldn't sell them over the phone. By the time we trucked down there, there were three left. Unbelievably, they were together, so we sprung for them at $85 bucks a pop. It seemed steep, until they turned out to be 8 rows behind the orchestra in the middle section -- by far the best theatre seats I've ever had.

The show was amazing -- funny, great plot/commentary, well-acted, and with good music sung incredibly well. If you get the chance, go. If not, get the soundtrack.

After the show, we strolled downtown. Our first stop was in the Chicago Cultural Center, which has stairways done with beautiful mosaics, as seen above. My friends felt they were almost as gorgeous as her ass. Then we walked over to Milleunium Park. It was beautiful, even in the snow. This is our "tourist" picture, using our cameras in the reflective "Bean".

I flew back on Thursday, just in time to have dinner at Ruth's Chris. Steak drown in butter. Hard to beat.

Friday I got my haircut, primped, and headed off to Phoenix for a softball tournament. I had dinner with some of my teammates Friday night and played softball in PERFECT weather all day Saturday. Saturday night, one of the guys on our team bought us all dinner at Stockyards, which was great. Sunday, we played two more games -- losing the second one ended the tournament for us. In the end, we went 3 and 3, with two of our losses being by one run -- not too shabby. I did OK - solid in the field, but I wish I had hit better.

With the softball over, the only thing left to do was head to Phoenix Pride, which happened to be the same weekend. Fortunately, I had some great guides -- Jimmi and his boyfriend Kevin. Jimmi is the co-host of the Dan and Jimmi Variety Show Podcast, on which I was a guest to discuss gay health issues. I met Dan in SF, but had never met Jimmi face to face. He's a great guy, and we had a blast. He and Kevin picked me up for lunch and drinks, and then we hit Pride with their friend Joe, and then the bars.

They only left me when it was pretty clear I would have other company for the night. That didn't go as well as I had hoped, but it wasn't the end of the world either.

I drove back from Phoenix Monday morning, and made it in under 5 hours, which was my goal. I wish I had dallied a bit more, because my pager started going off as soon as I got back. Seems many of my colleagues were at conferences, two of the people working had family emergencies, and the guy on back-up had messed up his scheduling and planned something. So they needed me to be on pager call. I haven't had to go in yet, but it did put a dent in my day trip, wine, casino plans. Alas. So I've been trying to make lemonade -- I finally bought plants for my apartment, have been to the gym everyday, and am hoping the hottest guy in the world will call me back (more on this later).

Hope your week was somewhere near as good.

I'm pretty hot about some of the politics flying around today. They'll be more on that tomorrow or Friday, but I wanted to get in something light about life. It's fun, and it usually gets more hits. I'm sure I'd reach a new record with the story of the hottest boy in the world; but I wouldn't want him to read it and get scared off. You'll just have to wait until it's going well -- or not at all.

PS -- there appears to be something wrong with the pictures tonight. I'll try again tomorrow.

The New Attorney General

2007-04-16T22:37:00.000-07:00

www.nndb.com

Given how long it took me to get the last post done, I've decided to give a little less background on this one. By now, I'm sure you have your own opinion on the firing of the US Attorneys. I think it's a glaring example of the fact that you can fire someone for no reason much more easily than you can fire someone for a bad reason (and sometimes even a good one).

My assessment is that President Bush had the authority to fire these US Attorneys, but he, or his staff, did not want it to look political, so they covered things up. In politics, it's always the cover-up that brings you down. Unless your last name is Clinton.

I'm more interested in making a couple of predictions. First, as you may have guessed from the title, I believe Attorney General Gonzales' days are numbered. Even a spectacular performance before Congress today probably won't save him for the long term. In fact, some have argued that the only reason he still has the job is that the President has no desire to send a nominee through a Democrat controlled Congress.

So here's my prediction (which my Dad thought was really slick) -- Attorney General Tom Ridge.

www.iflipflop.com

Why? I'll give you 5 reasons:

1) He's already been through a Senate confirmation as the first Homeland Security Secretary.
2) He's a former Congressman, so he may get some votes on old favors and friendship.
3) At the time he was in Congress, he was the only former enlisted man ("grunt" was his term) there. (There were many other veterans among the Congressmen/women, but they had been officers.) Voting against him, therefore, can probably be spun as unpatriotic. Plus, he might take what will likely be a messy job out of a sense of duty.
4) He was a Bush favorite -- in fact, some speculated that he took the Homeland Security post with the understanding that he would be given the VP nod if Cheney couldn't/didn't run in 2004.
5) As far as I know, he's just working in the private sector.

It also wouldn't surprise me if President Bush made a point of offering it to a Democrat in an attempt to take back control of the Senate. Maybe even an Independent Democrat, i.e., Attorney General Lieberman. I don't think anyone will fall for this.

www.boston.com

As unattractive as the job will look by then, they may just have to give it to the first person who will take it. I hear there are 8 excellent attorneys with high level government experience recently out of work.

Walter Reed and the VA

2007-04-16T18:12:00.000-07:00

I know I promised this a long time ago, and I apologize. But have your parents in town, spend two painful weeks at work, go on vacation, and suddenly you'll notice that a month has gone by. I have a bunch of other things to write about, so I wanted to get this done, and I apologize for the text heavy format. Before I get into my analysis of this issue, I want to do recognize some people and some biases.

Shout-outs:
1) Everyone who is eligible for treatment at the VA or military hospitals . Thanks for your sacrifice.
2) Defense Secretary Robert Gates. He made heads roll over this in a way previously foreign to President Bush's administration. Rummy would still be giving cyclic arguments to the press about the unknown unknowns. If Gates had cleaned up Abu Ghraib, we might have a little more respect on the international scene.
3) The Press. Nice job keeping at this story. I wish you had been this dogged about pursuing stories on WMD and Nigerian Uranium, instead of being an a bullhorn for the administration. Welcome back to the game.

Biases:
1) I worked at the Atlanta VA as a student, and the San Francisco VA as a resident. I loved it.
2) I'm not sure if my observations at VAs attached to medical schools apply to other VA hospitals.
3) I was offered a job at Tripler Army Hospital in Hawaii. They needed civilian docs because many of their specialists were deployed. I turned it down, but only because I didn't want to move to Hawaii.
4) I'm a doctor, so I may not give the MDs as much blame as we deserve.

Let's do Walter Reed first. It was terrible, and it should NEVER have happened. There are two specific points about it that I want to discuss.

First, the worst of it appears to have been related to outpatient care. Not a big surprise. If you've tried to do anything medical from home, you know that "pre-authorizations" are a pain. Once you're in the hospital, I can do almost anything I want, and they have to pay for it as "acute care". If they want to fight it, they have to try to do it after the fact, and convince a bunch of doctors that I should have known it was unnecessary when I did it. Once you're discharged from the hospital, it gets harder again. Insurance companies (and MediCare/Cal) make it easier to get a hospital day covered than help or therapy at home or in a nursing facility, even though the latter is much, much cheaper.

Second, it seems that there was a problem getting paperwork done. This problem is not unique to the military, though we should make a special effort there. I can barely get through health care paperwork, so I don't have high hopes for my patients who aren't lawyers. When there are people paid to help with this stuff, they are often clock punchers. Even some of those who started as idealists get burnt out. (See below) That said, I have met a few amazing social workers and case managers.

On to the VA. In large cities, the VA Hospital is usually associated with a major medical school (SFVAMC and UCSF, Atlanta VA and Emory). The attending physicians are usually university faculty, and the house staff are high quality trainees. So, with regard to the doctors, the medical care is about what you'd get at a university hospital. The staff is hit or miss -- some are great, some have jobs way over their heads; but you can usually get more money elsewhere, so most people are there because they want to be. Honestly, the VA was always my favorite place to work -- the patients are the best, and you feel like you are doing someting worthwhile.

Most of the limitations of the VA system derive from the fact that it is basically a rationed system. They have a budget from the government, a certain number of patients, and they do the best they can. They group some therapies to certain hospitals by region -- the SFVAMC did the heart bypasses for veterans as far away as Reno, NV. Since we only had one or two surgeons, they often had to wait. It didn't matter if they were a General or a Private, they went in order of wait or illness. There are ways for sicker patients with imminent problems to speed through the system -- but they need to get into the system first. The big problem becomes getting that first appointment with a primary care doctor.

One answer will be to add more primary care doctors -- but there are budget limitations. The other answer involves changes in our focus on preventative health, as a system and on a personal level. I don't mean to sound harsh, but too many veterans never see a doctor until there is a crisis. If we could get these men and women into the system before things go bad, we'd have them hooked in when the problems arise.

Notice, by the way, that the problems at the VA and Walter Reed are common to any rationed, managed health care system. If I had my choice, I'd go to the VA over Kaiser in a heart beat. Financially speaking, both the VA and Medicare run at a significantly lower administrative overhead cost than other managed health systems.

These problems also reflect the poor planning of President Bush and his staff. The Iraq war adds daily to the roll of soldiers who will need treatment at these facilities, but there seems to be no strategy for this "surge". Like the ground/civil war in Iraq, it will probably be a mess left for the next commander-in-chief to fix. I hope he or she is up to the challenge.

Posts Script: I finished this post on the day of the tragic massacre at Virginia Tech. My condolences to the family and friends of all the victims. The coming discussions of violence, the second amendment, etc., are important; but they can bring back the people who lost their lives.

General (Pace) Comments

2007-03-14T21:40:00.000-07:00

"I believe that homosexual acts between individuals are immoral, and that we should not condone immoral acts."

Since none of you threatened me with death for my stance on gay marriage, I thought I'd give you my take on General Pace's comments. I thought I'd missed the relevant media cycle, but since he said more today, I'm back on topic.

My biggest problem with the above comment is the pronoun switch. Quite honestly, I have no problem with Gen. Pace saying, "I believe that homosexual acts between individuals are immoral." His opinion, and he's entitled to have it and express it. That's one of the American freedoms he has defended, and I appreciate it.

So what's this "we"? As my Dad would say, "Did he have a mouse in his pocket?" Most likely he meant the military or military commanders. As Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, he probably has the authority to use "we" for either. Mixing his opinion and the party line in the same sentence, however, was at best inelegant and possibly downright sneaky.

He tried to make up for it today:

"In expressing my support for the current policy, I also offered some personal opinions about moral conduct. I should have focused more on my support of the policy and less on my personal moral views."

I almost bought this, but take a look -- this time the pronoun stayed the same, but the verb is a little off. The morality comment wasn't an attempt to "support" the current policy. It was an attempt to "justify" it. If you don't believe me, look back at the rest of the original speech.

"I believe that military members who sleep with other military members' wives are immoral in their conduct...I do not believe that the armed forces are well served by saying through our policies that it's OK to be immoral in any way, not just with regards to homosexual acts...So from that standpoint, saying that gays should serve openly in the military to me says that we, by policy, would be condoning what I believe is immoral activity."

Translation: "I" also think adultery and homosexuality are equally immoral (for military members -- what about the rest of us?). Immorality and the armed forces don't mix. So "we" should not condone what "I" think is immoral. Again with the pronoun swap.

My point is that you "support" a policy with data, or at least anecdotes. How has the policy benefitted us? What would happen if we get rid of it? What if we don't?

Instead, Gen. Pace attempted to "justify" the policy in an almost mathematical model. And he couldn't even make it through the first sentence without switching from his morality to what the military should do. For you geometry fans: GIVEN

A = Homosexuality
B = Adultery
C = Military
D = Disaster

Gen. Pace basically told you:

"A = B. Since we know B + C = D, then it must also be true that A + C = D". Logically correct, if you believe his assumptions. Unfortunately, he doesn't give us a pythagorean theorem to show that A = B or that B + C = D. For the former he gives us his morality and some pronoun switching. The latter he just throws out there.

Frankly, I don't buy either assumption. I'll take on the adultery first. First of all, let's face facts: it has happened, continues to happen, and probably will always happen. And it's not that simple. Doubt me? I cuddled with a gay guy who's been "married" to a woman twice for better money and living quarters. I'm not even sure what "adultery" would be in this scenario -- her sleeping with her girlfriend? Her husband? At whose place? Yet we have the finest military in the world.

My best guess is that that the adultery rule, at least at this point, has little to do with morality and the victimized spouse. More likely, it's to discourage fraternization, especially between people of different ranks, which CAN present a problem. It's probably overkill, but given scandals like Tailhook, you can imagine the urge.

I also don't buy that homosexuality = adultery. "I" think homosexuality is better compared to segregation and gender inequity, and "we" should view it as such. In which case there are two precedents where integration of a new group worked out just fine.

Gen. Pace can't prove that A = B any more that I can prove that it doesn't. If he bungled policy and opinion due to unexpected questions and the glare of the lights, I'll forgive him. If he planned it, shame on him. Regardless, I'm more upset with Sen. Clinton's dodge: "Well, I'm going to leave that to others to conclude". Who, exactly? Probably a wise response for a candidate, but I had hoped for more from the wife of the man who made at least a half-hearted effort to integrate gays into the military. Especially when she was supposed to have been the more liberal of the two.

Here's one more thing I can't prove. I don't think the people who support the ban on gays actually believe (or care) that it would make our military less effective. They're just clinging to reasons for thinking of gays as something less than men. I think they look at whom little boys idolize, other than Dad: cowboys, soldiers (and police/fireman), and sports stars. They already lost on the cowboys. They can't allow their sons to see GI Joe and the next Babe Ruth kicking ass at work and pounding ass at home. Because then their grandsons will regard them the way I saw my Grampa when he talked about Brazil nuts -- with a respectful, amused, pity -- like an old dog that you love, even though it can't hunt anymore. And they'll be alone with their hatred and intolerance.

Until then, no matter how many doctors they need, I'll stay a civilian -- like 50 Arabic linguists and the lady in this poster:

PS - Since I have a reader/commenter with a request, the next post will be my take on Walter Reed and the VA. Maybe I'll ramble less.

Catharsis

2007-03-13T21:26:00.000-07:00

I just finished my second two week stint on the wards, and I still like my job. It can still be a bit overwhelming at times, though -- like when on your last day you certify the death of someone on their 100th birthday.

So Sunday was booze catharsis. Sorry, no pictures.

This morning, I check the BofA account -- turns out you don't spend much working two weeks straight (consecutively, for the "gayly forward" crowd). So today was shopping catharsis. The biggest single bill was to Target -- I'm restocking some things before my parents come on Sunday. I won't bore you with most of the loot, but I did get cruising music for the rest of the day.

I've wanted the Beyonce for a while. The Ultra Dance 08 is for one song only -- "Shine On" by Sunloverz. Energy 92.7 got me hooked on it, and I haven't found it anywhere else. I made one more boring stop at Bed, Bath, and Beyond to replace the soap dispenser I broke. I didn't think I'd find a replacement, since I bought it on clearance -- but they had one, for even less than I paid for the original.

Then the fun began -- Nordstrom Rack, Loehmann's (a new favorite), and Express for men.

The top one is a dress shirt from Loehmann's. The polo is from Express. The guy at the counter said, "The pink one is selling well, but some people still think it's not a color for men."

"My grandfather felt that way," I replied.

"Not a color for men?"

"Actually, what Grampa said was that pink and yellow were colors for women and, um, certain men."

He gave me a funny look. "So why are you buying one?"

Coy smile. "I'm one of those men." (I think that was cathartic 'f'----in with people')

Some of you have commented on the obnoxiously large and failing wallet seen above. It was replaced today. For size comparison:

Kenneth Cole on sale is dangerous for me -- I ended up going one further and getting a matching money clip, for those nights I just need green and plastic. And my new business cards from work - which I got really excited about Sunday (some guy who was on a bad date now has one). Here's the rest of the loot, excluding the undies:

How is San Diego treating me? Those shorts are Waist 33, baby. (Yes, I know about "vanity" sizing, but you can rain on someone else's parade.)

The last stop was Sephora. They didn't have my shave cream, but they apologize in free samples. Not too shabby.

I even had time afterward to get my hair cut and go for a run in the sun. I always do it in that order -- I hate the white scalp on tan neck look. (For those of you following along, I went to the guy who fixed it last time.) After the run, I had a bottle of Propel fitness water. I love the new commercial, but I'm still waiting to run by Derek Jeter with my bottle of Propel and have him do a double-take.

Tomorrow, I think, will be cathartic dining -- Chicago style pizza (if they don't run out) and the Sopranos on A & E (my newest addiction).

Since I haven't posted in a while, I wanted to be a little light. If I have some time this week, I'll be weighing in on Hillary Clinton, Gen. Pace, and the VA.

Happy Mardi Gras!

2007-02-20T16:24:00.000-08:00

I've celebrated Mardi Gras every year since I was in Atlanta. I claim it's because both the Cajuns and I are descended from French Canadian stock, but it's mostly because it's a hell of a lot of fun.

This year, I'm making red beans and rice and hot links for dinner. I was tempted to try to throw my annual party, but I got stuck with a shift tomorrwow. I haven't decided if I'm going to go out later and try to find a bar making Hurricanes, or just mix some up for myself. Obviously, I have the genuine Pat O's Mix. (Sadly, I've given up on finding a King cake in San Diego.)

Put some beads on, get out there tonight, and have cyber drink with me.

Laissez les bons temps rouler!

Some things should not wed

2007-02-19T22:00:00.000-08:00

I wrote most of this a while ago, but never posted it. The idea has been percolating for some time, mostly in the form of conversations with gay friends. It also went through the Dad filter. I find some comfort in the fact that people who listen to me on the subject don't beat me up, even if they raise an eyebrow. To commemorate the beginning of civil unions in New Jersey, and because I needed to take a break from whining, I'm finally going to throw it out there:

I am (at this time) against legislation allowing gay marriage.

But perhaps not for the reasons you think. My problem with gay marriage is not with homosexuals. Or heterosexuals. It's with "marriage". I think a lot of people, even in the allegedly "red" states, would agreee. We need to define marriage, and it's a BIG problem. "How big?", you ask. Start with this.

Does it make any f---in sense that someone in a collar can pronounce you "man and wife" based on the "powers vested in [him/her] by the State of _____"? Freedom of religion is guaranteed by the First Amendment to the Constitution, and the separation of Church and State has been interpreted for some time. Yet 200+ years later it took unions that some people didn't want to bring a seemingly obvious problem to the forefront. Yes, we've mixed Church and State. (This is, BTW, the couple to which my titles refers.)

What else can you say about ministers being "vested" with the power to perform a union with implications on taxation, next of kin, and inheritance? It should never have happened; but with 200+ years of "stare decisis", is it not easily reversed.

The first step would be to separate the civil legalities from the religious event. Sadly, perhaps, I think the simplest way to do this is to let go of the word "marriage". When people object to "gay marriage", most are (in my estimation) objecting to the vision of two men, one perhaps veiled, standing on the altar of their church. They care notably less about whether a man's partner is automatically made his proxy for health care decisions.

In reality, though, the rights to shared health benefits, adoption, and hospital visitation matter more that the word "marriage". As long as marriage is equated with a religious ceremony, we can't win the argument anyway. Truth be told, we shouldn't. One edge of the sword of religious freedom is that we can't make a church bless homosexual unions -- they will have to come to it themselves, as they lose members to better theologic arguments. So I suggest, for now, that we let the word marriage go, in favor of a more important conversation about civil rights. Call them civil unions, mawwaiges, or whatever -- they are a place to start. Once the government recognizes the rights, we can petition our individual churches to use whatever word we want. Giving up an 8-letter word for a few years isn't much of a sacrifice if it allows committed couples to realize the appropriate legal benefits sooner.

So, in the run-up to the 2008 elections, I'll be looking for people who grant legal equality to homosexual partners, and I won't ask them to sacrifice themselves on a pyre of "gay marriage". Think about it.

And my congratulations to the newly "unifed" in New Jersey.

Service?

2007-02-17T22:00:00.000-08:00

I'm about to get into my 4th winey post, so I thought I'd better clear up a couple of things.

I DO, in general, like San Diego very much. My job has been great so far, the people are nice, and the weather is better than San Francisco and only going to improve. I have not, however, been impressed by the service industry (beyond the cute bartenders).

Issue #1: Furniture
I bought a new bedroom set -- dresser with mirror, platform bed, attached night tables, and adjustable head rests -- at least thats what 70 year old salesman called them. I see many other possibilities in adjustable padded cushions ;)

I bought it on a Saturday -- it was supposed to be delivered that Thursday while I was still off work. They called me Tuesday to say there was a piece missing, and they wanted to get me brand new stuff, so could I wait. They said it would be in the following Monday, and they would call about delivery.

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday went without a phone call. When I finally called them on Thursday, they said they still didn't have it, they wouldn't have it until Monday, and they thanked me for my patience. I said, "No. I'm not being patient anymore. I'm now upset, and I would like to know how you are going to compensate me for the fact that you will have my money for two weeks without me having furniture." No reply.

They finally scheduled delivery for the Thursday two weeks after the original date. They told me I had to be available from 1-3 for delivery and set up. The delivery team, while pleasant and professional, got there at 2:45, and proceeded to take until 4:30 to deliver the bed. This would have been fine, except that I was now working and had to ditch out.

Oh, and one more thing -- the "new" dresser I had waited for had a picture in it that belonged to someone else. I'm already drafting a nasty letter in my head.

Issue #2: Hair
I needed a haircut before the Palm Springs softball tournament, so I asked someone with decent looking short hair where they got it cut and went there. It was a busy shop, mostly young Latino and African-American barbers. Knowing no one specific, I took the first open guy (nothing new there). He did what I wanted, and a good job. Unfortunately, he wasn't there when I went back this week, so I had to try another guy. He didn't really do what I had told him, despite my basically pointing to a picture on the wall. When I got home and put some product in my hair, I noticed the top was about 8 different lengths.

I thought I was, perhaps, being overly prissy. Until I went to get it fixed somewhere else. Barber #2 noticed the clean back, and mentioned that it looked pretty good. When I explained about the top, he ran a comb through a couple of times -- and went "hmmm". As we chatted about where I had gotten it cut, he mentioned that he knew some of the guys at that shop.

"If you're not comfortable cuttting a white guys hair, you should just say it," he said.

I thought I had been dealing with a few stray strands. "Was it THAT bad?"

"It was pretty bad," he said. Fortunately, it's better now, though a little shorter than I had planned. I will probably go back to this guy, but I feel a little bad about ditching the guy who did a decent job the first time.

Issue #3: Coffee
This one is pretty simple -- I went to Peet's in Hillcrest at about 1500. I asked for a DeCaf coffee. They didn't have any. The guy said he would brew some more, and it would be ready in 1 1/2 minutes. Over five minutes later, he gave me a cup of DeCaf. The 5 minute wait didn't kill me, but I know the brewing time is standardized -- either be honest with me about the time, or be on the ball with my coffee. And c'mon, your a coffee shop -- you don't run out of coffee. It would be like a pizza shop running out of pizza. [This is a literary device called foreshadowing.] At least I got a coupon for a free drink.

Issue #4: Pizza
I hate Valentine's Day as a rule, but this one was worse than usual. I couldn't find a bitter/singles event, I don't really have enough friends yet to throw one, and it was Wednesday night, so it wasn't a great night to go out. It didn't help to think I might actually have had someone with whom to spend it if I hadn't left San Francisco, and that my seemingly nice guy from the weekend wasn't calling me back. So I resigned myself to pizza, wine, and the Sopranos on A & E.

In Googling "San Diego Pizza", I found a place called Lefty's that advertized Chicago Style stuffed pies. I called. I got as far as "stuffed pizza with..." when the guy broke in to tell me they were out of pizza. After the coffee, I knew this was not my day. (I probably should have realized it when I posted a blog about a guy not calling back just after midnight.) So I let it go, and ordered a NY style from Bronx Pizza. Not bad. And I know where I'll look next -- this place sound like it might "service" Hillcrest well. It's on Washington Street, the photo is unedited, and I couldn't resist. I just can decided if it's an offer, a request, or an order.

The $25,000 Pyramid

2007-02-13T23:27:00.000-08:00

I find that I often rattle my thoughts off in lists, especially when talking to my Dad.

One day, I was whining about my old job. I was going on about:

"the contract,
the condescension,
the last of sick leave,
the nurses,
the surgeons..."

when my Dad burst in and said,

"Reasons you moved to San Diego!"

It sounded like a winning sequence from the $25,000 Pyramid, and we both cracked up. Now it's a running gag.

So here's a more somber one. See if you can guess correclty before you get to the bottom.

"I wasn't good enough."
"I wasn't cute enough."
"I wasn't big enough."
"He DID mind that I finished and he didn't (that second time)."
"He thought I was getting attached."
"He really DID just want to cuddle."
"I didn't cuddle right/enough."
"I didn't look good when he was sober."
"He thinks I'm a slut."
"I shouldn't have kissed him in the morning."
"He lost his phone."

Got it yet?

Blinkers 102

2007-02-13T22:50:00.000-08:00

I want to continue to "experience" San Diego, I had the day off, and it was time. So today I undertook our semi-annual duty, AKA "the longest 25 minutes of your life". Which, by the way, beats the hell out of when it was "the longest 3-5 days of your life".

Since I haven't dealt with benefits at my new job or finding a doctor in San Diego, I went to the County Clinic. And I'm a little disturbed. I listened, I swabbed, I waited, I exhaled, I left. The whole process took over 30 minutes. In that time, NO ONE else came into the clinic. At Magnet in SF, they were so busy you had to schedule the anonymous test. All of San Diego can't be that healthy. Not for long, anyway.

Knowing that I could again reply on-line as DDF (except for the EtOH), I bought 2 pairs of Kenneth Cole sunglasses (there's a Nordstrom Rack here), drove home, and headed out to the gym. Which brings us to Blinkers 102...

...Turning on your blinkers does NOT resolve you of responsibility.

It's a good start, but you still have to make sure it's safe. Looking both ways is a good way to begin. Case in point -- when making a right turn, it is not sufficient to stare left as you move forward. If you never look right, you might almost run over boy in the cool new sunglasses crossing the street on the way to the gym. Capeesh? Both of you?

Yep, twice. And its only 6 blocks to my gym. And I felt so good I didn't flip either one of them off.

Blinkers 101

2007-02-12T19:36:00.001-08:00

Above, hopefully, is a video of what cool turn signals, AKA "Blinkers", look like. Yours need not be this cool to be effective. On most cars, the lever that controls them can be found on that little part that connects the steering wheel to the dashboard (as seen below). Lift UP (clockwise) for a right turn, push DOWN (counter-clockwise) for a left turn.

auto.howstuffworks.com

Theorem: Turn signals indicate that you will be turning.

Corollary #1: They prepare the people behind you for the fact that you may slow down prior to your turn.

Corollary #2: Lighting your turn signal AFTER your have SLAMMED ON YOUR BRAKES is not nearly as helpful. (Though there may be comfort in knowing you won't be in front of me anymore.)

Obviously, everyone has performed the "break first, signal second" maneuver, especially in a new town. I have a hard time believing, though, that the 8 people who did it in front of me today are newer to the San Diego area than I am.

There. Now I feel better.

86,400 seconds

2007-02-06T08:52:00.000-08:00

How do you measure a day?

See what watching RENT will do to you?

Some days are circled in red on the calendar before they start. Some encompass a life changing event. Most, I think, are just the summation of a bunch of little things. For some unknown reason, I was thinking about that this morning, and kept a log of some of the little moments that made up my day.

---I didn't have to be at work until around 9 this morning, so I was trying to sleep in a little. At 0655, my pager went off. "Critical bed shortage at Thorton [hospital]. Make sure your patients are out ASAP." Given that I'm not even working at Thornton this week, I was not amused. I also couldn't get back to sleep. Net (-).

---My department bought us all Ipod Shuffles, and I used mine for the first time. There is a certain exhilaration in not knowing what comes next, and fun in the mix generated. Here are the first 7 songs played by my Shuffle:

I Walk the Line
I'm Gonna Get You
Night and Day
Rapture
Chains of Love
[Something, I think by Moby, that I didn't know I had]
Dancin' in the Dark

It's a little frightening how strange my musical collection is, but I give it a (+)

---I've had my eye on a cutie who works at Bread and Cie in Hillcrest. I thought he was looking back (and he may have been), but today he had a thick band on his LEFT ring finger. (-) for me, hopefully a (+) for him. On second thought, he was no WCB, and at least I know it's just for the tips, so maybe it's a wash.

---There was a lady on Washington St. who had pulled into the crosswalk to make a left. She didn't get to do so. When she saw me walking across the street, she backed up. I smiled and waved. She smiled back. I like responsible, courteous people. (+)

---The pager again. Someone who wanted to transfer a patient paged me. OK. But they didn't give me a phone number -- just their pager. I will NEVER understand this. I can think of very few circumstances in which this is necessary. Otherwise, it just says (1) I'm stupid, or (2) you think that your time is more valuable than mine, since you can't be tied down to a phone, but I can be. Given that you need something from me, that's a pretty haughty assumption. Big (-)

---My NewsWeeks caught up with my new address, so I have reading material for the gym. (+)

---I saw an add touting the benefits of the Medicare Prescription Drug program. No mention of the "donut hole" or the drugs no one will cover. Surprise! It was paid for by the Pharma group. Could it be they wouldn't benefit from MediCare negotiating drug costs? Jury's still out -- the right media spin and it could backfire.

---On my way to the gym, I saw a package. I checked the name to ensure it wasn't mine. It turns out there is someone in my building is named Vincent Price. Love it. Muuhahahaha. (+)

---Pager again, this time combined with Murphy's Law. I left work around 2, and made it home, to the gym, and thru shopping at Ralph's without the pager going off. Between Ralph's and home, now carrying 3 bags of groceries and my backpack, I got paged 3 times. All 3 were people who paged me because they couldn't take the time to find or deal with the right person. (-)

---Walking home from the gym, a guy was pulling into the crosswalk to make a right on red. He was looking left until the moment he almost hit me. Poor form, but he did wave with a sincere look when I passed. Screwed up, but took responsibility. A wash.

---Met with my team, and we only had 5 new admissions by 1930. (++)

---New and cool episode of SVU. (+), even though their wasn't much Chris Maloney.

---Having time to blog on the new job. (+)

I think I give today a B+. If any of the e-mails I put on Match.com go anywhere, I may have to revise this later. Hope your total for the day was as good.

Is is worth being a gentleman...

2007-02-04T21:40:00.000-08:00

...when he won't remember it anyway.

I've managed to meet some people in San Diego, but no one who wanted to watch the Superbowl. So I went to Flick's, and ended up sitting on the bar next to some nice folks. They took me to Baja Betty's for margaritas, carnitas, and the end of the Colts victory. Then we went to Urban Mo's.

I was there about five minutes when I saw a gorgeous guy -- too cute, probably Filipino, and probably too young. Having decided the latter, I looked away, but it was too late. He had seen me, grabbed my arm, then started feeling my chest.

"I'm Jeff," he said. "What's your name?"

"I'm Joel." Since I was buying drinks for my friend and I, I got him one. It took all of 5 minutes. When I gave him his drink, he said "What's your name?"

"Joel."

"What's my name?"

"Jeff."

"You're good," he said.

I told him I had to go give my friend his drink. He asked me to come back. I found my new friend from Flick's, dropped of the drink, and went to find Jeff. When I did, he said "What's your name, again?"

"Still, Joel." Then he moved to kissed me. I met his lips, but avoided the tongue.

He was pissed. "What was that?"

"Your very cute, and very drunk. I'd like to run into you earlier some night, and see if you still think I'm cute," I explained. At that moment, I really wished I were drunk beyond my morality so I could take him home. Unfortunately, he seemed to take my comment take it as a slap. After convincing him that I did think he was gorgeous, he said "Well I want a real kiss."

I'm not that strong, so I kissed him. I enjoyed it.

Apparently, it was supposed to make him irresistable. When I segued it to good-bye, he got upset again. "What's wrong with you? I thought you liked me!"

"I do like you, but you're drunk, and I'm trying to be a gentleman. Seven years in Atlanta will do that to you." In the end, he looked less upset, more confused, and left.

I know I'll run into him again, and he won't remember me, much less that I tried to do right by him. I wonder, though, if it wouldn't have been better to take him home with me -- I'm actually afraid of what might happen to him tonight. (He didn't seem to have any friends looking after him.) I'd add that sleeping with him would be more fun than watching "Rent" On Demand and blogging, but I've been here before, and it wouldn't happen. I end up tucking them into my bed and sleeping on the couch, at least until their heads clear. Then it's up to them.

So I'm just going to feel a little good about myself, and hope that no one takes advantage of him tonight. And perhaps it will make up for whatever I did to the guy who flipped me off tonight and said I was "trouble". I haven't been here that long, so I'm sure it had to do with the champagne induced haze from last Sunday (lest you haven't read much of my blog and think that this "gentleman" stuff is a way of life). I can't have been too objectionable, though, since his friend, who looked suspiciously like the guy who was in my apartment as the haze cleared, winked at me.

Fireworks pictures from my deck in San Diego tonight (I have no idea what they commemorated) and my old deck in SF (Fleet Week).

Shopping

2007-01-24T19:32:00.000-08:00

I have always enjoyed shopping more than the average man. When I end up in the "How did you NOT know?" conversation, it's usually listed as one of the overlooked clues, along with the fact that I "invented" gray frosting for a cake I made.

www.allsop.com
Today, I went out to look for some things for my new apartment. I started at Circuit City, where I have a coupon from my change of address packet. I was looking for an LCD TV, a small surround sound stereo, and an entertainment center. I like to look by myself first, then grab someone when I have questions or am ready to buy. Usually I have to answer the barrage of "Can I help you with anything" with my tersest "Thanks, I'm just looking for now." Today, no one in a red shirt even looked in my direction. Considering I might be emitting a "Leave me alone" vibe, I went over by the TVs and tried to look needy. Still nothing.

So I went and stood by customer service for about 5 minutes. Two guys were helping one patron with a return. They neither looked in my direction nor offered me a "We'll be right with you." Back to the TV's. Same result.

So, after 1/2 hour, I left. Off to IKEA. On the way, I noticed a CostCo.

www.usatoday.com
I've never been a CostCo guy, but I remembered friends telling me that they have EVERYTHING, including TVs and furntiture. So I thought I'd check it out. I got 3 feet through the door when a woman asked to see my membership card.

"I don't have one," I replied.

"You can't go in without one," she said. In most limited access places, this is where one would receive an invitation to apply for membership. Like an African American at Augusta (El Tigre not withstanding), I received silence.

So I asked, "How would I become a member?"

With a stunned look, she said, "Oh, you just go right over there. Would you be interested?"

"Not in that line," I answered, pointing to the queue of 20 people. "Can I walk around and look at the prices to help me decide?"

Apparently not. So I left. Strike 2.

I then went to IKEA. Nothing specifically bad, though I did discover that the practice of walking and looking in different directions was not as limited to Chinatown as I had hoped. Unfortunately, I'm trying to match some things I have, and nothing there fit the bill. So I had my $1 yogurt and left. On the upside, I didn't buy my usual panoply of cheap shit from the last room. Also, I got the Mustang cleaned yesterday and the weather was nice enough to have the top down.

So Circuit City and CostCo are now "on notice". I have some work to do in the morning -- and then I'm going to Best Buy to see if they'll honor my Circuit City coupon. If not, I may go back, but not to the same one.

www.allsop.com
Does anyone know where I can get a contemporary queen size sofa bed?

Post Script -- I'm writing this as I watch the Sopranos on A & E. The priest got drunk and flirted with Carmela, then spent the night. In the morning she said, "Of all the ?fanut? priests in the world, why did I have to get the one who's straight." Love it. I thought the italics were Italian slang, but I couldn't find it in any of the dictionaries. Now I think A & E just bleeped "fuckin".

A Little Politics

2007-01-23T19:39:00.000-08:00

I just finished watching President Bush's State of the Union address, so I thought I'd throw in my two cents.

www.cantonrep.com
President Bush's introduction of my former congresswoman, Madame Speaker (Pelosi), was perfrect. Unfortunately, it set a standard he couldn't keep up. I was folding my wash during the speech, and it was more interesting than his laundry list. My thoughts on the list by topic:

mathforum.org
Economy: Balancing the budget is a winner with me -- the government should be the spender of last resort, and we are not in a depression. More accountability for earmarks (read "PORK") is a good idea, but always seems to come up after your party loses control of the House. Impressive will be if Speaker Pelosi promotes this even though she now has the power. Fixing Social Security and Medicare is a great idea, but would require a plan, which he failed to give. Pleasantly absent was any mention of the magic of tax cuts.

www.raindrop.org
Education: As President Bush patted himself on the back for the No Child Left Behind act, I wanted shots of Sen. Kennedy -- I'm not sure he's as pleased. I also thought it was a little wimpy to say "giving families...the right to choose something better" and not say VOUCHERS.

www.sc.edu
Health Care: I'm taking a "glass 1/2 full", "every little bit helps" approach on this one. I'm not sure why people WITH health insurance need a deduction (sounds like a tax cut for people with jobs and money -- maybe I was wrong above). I guess it's a good incentive to the uninsured, but I doubt it will get the job done. Giving states flexibility is probably a good thing -- Lord knows CA and PA have different issues. Health savings accounts -- Eh? OK. Might help.
Medical liability reform -- hell, yes! In fact, include it as a big part of overall tort reform. Deciding what tests to order is hard enough without pondering potential legal actions. "The best health care decisions are made not by government and insurance companies, but by patients and their doctors." Duh, but thanks for getting it in there. Now make it happen.

www.usdoj.gov
Immigration: I am not, in general, for creating a second class of American citizenship, i.e., guest workers, but I might consider a temporary measure to get some control over the borders. The operative word being temporary. The long term goal needs to be better legal immigration, to some degree matched with true labor needs, and addressing current illegal immigrants and there children, who are often citizens.

www.utsa.edu
Energy: Nice of the President come around to the idea that developing alternative energy sources can decrease our dependence on foreign oil and enhance our national security. The energy goals are good -- I honestly don't know how achievable they are, but they are a start. Americans rise to a challenge, e.g., making it to the moon before 1970. Drilling in ANWR was thankfully only an oblique reference in one sentence. Doubling the strategic petroleum reserves -- why not?

www.ugala.ee
The War on Terror: Maybe it's because I want to believe we're still achieving something with the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, but I thought the litany of disasters averted was the second most effective part of the speech (after Speaker Pelosi's intro). I found the summary of events less engrossing, and trying to claim that "This is not the fight we entered in Iraq" was flat out slippery -- plenty of people more or less predicted EXACTLY this.

cnn.com
Iraq: I, like many, was hoping for a reversal of the surge plan, but I knew it wouldn't happen. Kudos to whomever wrote "whatever you voted for, you did not vote for failure." Great line.
I do want to note, for later arguments with Rush Limbaugh and other conservatives, that the president said: "Our country is pursuing a new strategy in Iraq -- and I ask you to give it a chance to work. AND I ask you to support our troops in the field -- and those on their way." My point -- even the President realizes that these are TWO SEPERATE REQUESTS. You CAN be for the troops and against a given strategy.

The special advisory council could be a good thing, as long as the President listens to it and it isn't packed with Yes-men (and women). I also agree with increasing the size of the Army and Marines -- I just hope that meeting the goals requires allowing homosexuals to enlist. I don't really understand the Civilian Reserve Corps thing, but I'll keep an open mind.

www.traveldocs.com
AIDS/Africa: The more, the better. Mentioning malaria was also a good touch -- I think I see the fingerprints of Dr. Gerberding on it. Some would argue that charity begins at home, and we have a lot of sick people in the US. I agree with the President: "To whom much is given, much is required." In addition, we have some work to do in rebuilding our international reputation, and saving some lives can't hurt. I just wish he would apply that philosophy to taxation and sacrifice in times of war.

The Greatest American Heroes: Dikembe Mutombo and Julie Aigner-Clark have achieved much, and their stories are illustrative of the American dream. I thought they paled a little next to Mr. Autrey and Sgt. Riemen, heroes who have risked their lives for others. They seem larger than life, but hopefully are reminders to us, and the world, of what real Americans do when called to action. Thanks.

I also watched Sen. Webb give the democratic response. He needs to get more comfortable with speaking in front of a camera, but the content and personal story were great. As a moderate, a veteran, and a Democrat from Virginia he's someone to watch.

I also watched MSNBC interview Sen. Clinton, Sen. Obama, and former Sen. Edwards. They impressed me in that order, which is sad, since Sen. Edwards usually comes across well. I was going to include my current analysis of the Democratic Primary, but this is already too long. Look for it soon.

...and cue the Disney!

2007-01-22T21:45:00.000-08:00

I am almost certain that I left San Francisco. It gets a little confusing at times, since the TV, couch, and bed are all the same. The apartment and view are clearly different, so I must be in San Diego; but it sure didn't feel like it Thursday.

The morning was fairly uneventful -- I put some stuff away in the apartment and swung by work. Unfortunately, we came up with things to do Friday and Saturday, so my weekend was looking fairly lame. Afterwards, I went to 24 Hour Fitness, and the de ja vu began.

When I was a resident, I worked out at the UCSF gym at Parnassus. There was a very cute, slight, Asian boy with a nice smile who I thought was gorgeous. I must have checked him out 100 times, but I was never sure that he was: (1) gay or (2) into me. So I never said anything to him. I finally ran into him one night in the Castro, and pent up mutual interest was quickly evident. I was leaning in for a kiss (as was he) when I got the Heisman.

Seems he was moving to San Diego for residency and already had a boyfriend there. The relevance of that was discussed at length, but the moment had passed.

So, whom do I run into on my second day at 24 hour fitness? None other. And he remembered me when I said, "Hi." I'm guessing the boyfriend is still around, because we both look the same, but I didn't really feel any sparks. Besides, my timing was right on, as usual -- he's almost done with residency, and is planning to head back to SF or to LA for a job. It was a little odd to run into him, but medicine is a small field. It wasn't like I'd run into some random person I met at a bar once.

Which brings us to Thursday night. Flick's, one of the bars on University, has a free Texas Hold 'Em tournament every Thursday. I was invited by some folks I met last Wednesday, and it was fun, so I went back (and, in all honestly, there was a hottie I was hoping to meet). I hadn't been there a 1/2 hour when I saw someone from SF. We had met at the Academy of Friends Oscar Gala last year, and I had seen him a few times since. I reintroduced myself, and he remembered me. Turns out he just moved here for a new job as well. We started buying each other rounds and talking about SF.

Basically, I moved all the way to San Diego, and the first person I seriously flirted with was someone I met in San Francisco 11 months before.

It's a small, small, world.

Back -- Yes. Better than ever -- at least for one night.

2007-01-17T22:16:00.000-08:00

For any of you who were worried, I made it safely to San Diego last Wednesday night, crashed in a hotel, and met my stuff on Thursday morning. Fortunately, the hottest of the Latin boys came with my stuff, so I had good scenery again.

I crashed at my new place Thursday, and put some stuff away Friday morning. That left just enough time to get a haircut and primp before heading off to Palm Springs for the softball tournament.

The tournament, as an event, stunk. They changed it at the last minute from a double to single elimination tournament, which ups the ante a bit. Our first games were Saturday at 8 and 9 PM, in the freezing cold. We won them both. Our last game of "pool" play was Sunday afternoon, and we lost a squeaker -- but it was gorgeous. The playoffs started in the evening (cold again), and we won the first the two games. Then some intimidating lesbian came and told us there would be no further games because the lights had to be shut off.

In the end, we were made co-champions with the other three teams that had made the semis. It was a little disappointing, since we were hitting on all cylinders and trounced the last team we played (who had beaten the team that beat us). But we did get a cut of the prize money to give to an AIDS foundation where one of my teammates worked.

Once the softball drama was behind us, Sunday night took off. We had a great team dinner at Wang's -- the Maniax were a great bunch of guys (and Di). Then we went to Hunter's. Since the games were over and Monday was MLK Day, most of the guys hung out to dance and flirt. I wish I could bottle whatever I had working that night and use some of it later.

Early in the evening, I found the hottest guy in the bar -- at least from my perspective. Tan skin, black hair, gorgeous dark eyes, nice body, and PERFECT smile. As I passed, both our heads turned, and I was about to say something -- until a bunch of guys from SF grabbed me to say "Hi". It was sweet of them, but also a highly effective cock-block.

Fortunately, I found him again later. I tapped him on the shoulder, and said:
"Hi, I saw you earlier, and was planning to flirt with you until all of my friends grabbed me. Can I buy you a drink?" Joel, you sly devil.

He declined the drink, but not until we had stared a bit, pressed fronts, and felt up each others sides. After a brief chat, he had to go across the street with some friends, and I lost him again. The DJ played "Mesmerized", so it was off to the dance floor with some of the hotties from my team.

I found another cutie on the dance floor, and after a little grinding, got his digits. When I went to the bar for another drink, I caught another guy checking me out. He was a trauma nurse, and we started chatting medicine with some of his friends. Soon after we swapped digits, boy #1 showed up and asked if he could still get that drink. At which point I hit a new low. I had to introduce two potential tricks for the evening. It felt like a weird form of the dating game: "Bachelor Number 3, meet Bachelor Number 1."

How good would that bottle be? Since I had been drinking more than he, Bachelor #1 drove me home and stayed for some fun. Despite the fact that I left with #1, Bachelor #3 texted me that night, that morning, and wants to make me a MySpace friend. As to Bachelor #2 -- I can't seem to find his number. The only bad things were that I didn't get to see the LA boy I met at the last tournament, and I didn't get to scope out any of the SD teams.

Now I'm back in SD. All the boxes are empty and, thanks to Craigslist, gone. With helpful input from RottenRyan, I got my cable and wireless internet all hooked up, hence the return to blogging. I even made it to the gym today. Tomorrow, I plan to go by work and make sure everything is set up, hit the gym, maybe do some furniture shopping, and try to make some new friends.

Irreplaceable

2007-01-08T23:19:00.000-08:00

"To the left, to the left.
Everything you own
in a box to the left."

Everyone wants to know if I'm "ready" to move. Here's the skinny.
I've been ready to leave my job for some time.
I'm ready to start teaching again, so I'm ready for my new job in San Diego.
I'm ready for the adventure of moving somewhere new.
And I'm not remotely ready to leave San Francisco.

Though watching the movers helped a little.

I wanted to have a Bon Voyage party, but never quite got it together. So JC and Pauly decided I should just have people come to The Mix. I sent out an E-vite Saturday afternoon saying I would be watching football and saying good-byes in the back of The Mix on Sunday.

I was floored by the number of people who came to say good-bye on a day's notice. It was an eclectic crowd, including people from residency, softball players, pool players, bloggers, and current and past (and future?) flames. It's been a long time since I've felt The Love like that. I'm going to steal a page from Kel's blog, and clear up just how I feel about some folks. Get the tissues ready, because I'm going to get sappy. If you thought I wouldn't:

"You must not know 'bout me,
You must not know 'bout me."

Speaking of Kel, my time with the bloggers was too short. Dan and Nick, this includes you. You are brilliant fun people, and life will be boring without you in town. Thank God I have you on-line.

Cailin, Ethan, and Kate, it was so sweet of you to come by. You proved, once again, that bonds forged by 100+ hours/week together can't be broken by time or distance. And I know Jimmi and Warren were there in spirit. Sue, sorry you couldn't make it, but I'll see you soon. I would have changed jobs a year ago if it weren't for you. It's going to be weird to wake up Friday and NOT see you at work. To my favorite Faith Evans look-a-like, thanks for the cake.

Will, Cody, Joe, Horatio, and Geena -- thank you so much (and Aaron, I'm going to group you with the cult, just to churn your stomach). I can't believe I've only been playing softball here for a year and have so many great friends. It was easiest to say good-bye to you, because I know I'll see most of you in Palm Springs next weekend. Then the eye faucets will open up again.

JC, Pauly, Russell, and Roger -- I'll think of you every Tuesday night for a long, long time. Renie getting me to hang out at The Mix has to be one of the best things to ever happen to me. I had no idea that shooting a little pool would allow me to meet the best people in the Castro. And thanks to Gil, Ian, and Charlie who have been more than just bartenders to me.

Phillip, I have no idea what to say to you. I'm glad to know you, and I know I'll see you soon. And thank you for bringing Kyser and Wes around. Jean, thanks for putting me up, and putting up with me. I'm still not sure how I met my partner in crime at a straight poker game.

Finally...Chad, you get your own paragraph. You are living proof that telling nasty jokes can have benefits. I can't actually separate you and San Francisco in my mind. For you SAT folks, an analogy: Chad Fox is to San Francisco as Charlie is to Badlands. You are the heart and soul of the place, and it would never be the same without you. You're stuck with me as family. I saw this today, and it made me think of you. Especially since it was graffiti on the sidewalk.

I've got a two bedroom condo in San Diego, so there's room for visitors. And the guest bathtub has whirlpool jets. I hope to host any and all of you soon.

And EVERY second:
"get to thinking that you're irreplaceable."

Because you all are.

DANGER: Sentimental Retrospective

2007-01-08T19:39:00.000-08:00

"I saw my life this morning,
lying at the bottom of a drawer.
All this stuff I'm saving,
God knows what this junk is for."

I'm a pack rat. I admit it. Every six months or so I grab something I desperately need out of the back of the closet, and can therefore justify saving an inordinate amount of crap for another year. Or until I move.

Before the hot Latin boys came to pack up my stuff, I went through most of it trying to throw things away. Overall, I think I did pretty well. Three garbage bags full of clothes are not going to San Diego with me.

I also managed to move into the 21st century with my journals. Doctors used to save their journals, and when they got a senior university job the department would pay to have them bound. Now, it's just a pain in the ass to save them, and they're all on line. So I ditched about 4 years worth of medical journals, too. (I ended up keeping the Gourmets.)

I also had to dig through my closet. Even though I came out of it in Atlanta, there's still plenty of crap in it. Some of it didn't make the cut for the San Diego trip.

"I saw you this morning,
you were looking straight at me,
from an ancient photograph
stuck between some letters and some keys"

I also went through my files -- even the one marked "random sentimental stuff". Mixed in with the hundreds of blond jokes and the medical school lecture run through the "jive filter", I found this, possibly my favorite picture of me ever taken:

The little creature in my arms is my oldest niece. My sister-in-law took shot this in 1997, and used it in a calendar that had a different picture of my niece every month. All of my brother's gay friends called me "Mr. May" for quite a while. Unfortunately, I was still seeing women and they were in Boston, so nothing much ever came of it.

Running a close second is this picture of me, with quite possibly the hottest woman who ever wanted to sleep with me. She worked with/for me in the lab, so I never let it happen, and it was a messy friendship at times. But she was a class act, and stayed friends with me right through my coming out. Sadly, I haven't talked to her in years.

Our last stop on memory lane comes from my colleagues at Emory. They had me pegged as a rabble rouser from the beginning, and gave me this award during my MD/PhD training. I try to live up to it.

To sum up my packing day:

"I was lost, for a moment,
in the ache of old goodbyes.
Sometimes all that we can know is
there's no such thing as no regrets,
baby it's all right."

I realize I never gave the answer to the last musical quiz. "I Have Found Me a Home" is a Jimmy Buffett song. I fully expect him to rise back to the top of my CD rack as I bask in the warm weather and sunshine in San Diego.

All of the quotes in this post are from the same song. Any takers?

They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Ha

2007-01-06T08:58:00.000-08:00

The movers are on their way, and in a few hours all my stuff will be on a big truck to San Diego. Things actually started yesterday, when a "crater" came to measure my flat screen TV. It was pretty slick -- they built a crate to fit right at my apartment. I think it is now more likely to make in to SD intact than most of my stuff -- like the wine.

I'm going to be in SF a couple more days at least. If you're in town, I'm going to hang out at the Mix tomorrow afternoon to meet friends and watch football.

PS -- Fear not. The gratuitously sentimental good-bye posts are half-written and on their way.

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

2007-01-02T19:38:00.000-08:00

Or vice versa. Sometimes it's hard to tell.

I got home from work (T minus 2 days and counting), turned on the Orange Bowl, and checked my e-mail. Then, I decided to buzz by cnn.com.

On the main page was Ex-Joint Chiefs chairman: Military ready for gays. The story detailed a New York Times opinion piece by Gen. John Shalikashvili stating that he no longer opposes allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly in the military. He's not the first former military person to say this, but he is one of the most well known and highest ranking. Unfortunately, he also admitted that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to push it early in the new Congress.

I then checked the Politics page, and found Massachusetts same-sex marriage ban advances. For those of you haven't followed this, a brief review:

Nov. 2003 - Supreme Court of Massachusetts rules that preventing gay couples from marrying is unconstitutional and demands a legislative remedy.
Feb. 2004 - Supreme Court clarifies that they mean MARRIAGE, not civil unions
May 2004 - Legal and recognized gay marriages begin in Massachusetts
March 2006 - Supreme Court rules non-resident gays cannot be married, based on an arcane law from 1913
December 2006 - Supreme Court rules that it does not have the authority to force the legislature to act on a proposed constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage (but does it's best to shame them into doing it)

Apparently the Court succeeded, because the Massachusetts legislature voted on the measure today. Since 62 legislators endorsed the measure (though 134 opposed it), it will be continued and voted on again next year. Honestly, I haven't caught up on all the legalities of this yet, but the amendment ain't dead yet.

In reality, these were both probably symbolic events -- nobody gained or lost rights today. Even the MA amendment would have to go through the legislature and a state ballot to pass. But it would be nice to see everything pointing in the same direction at some point. And I still don't understand why the same people who want to export freedom to other coutries tend to stand up for discrimination here.

Bridged The Gap

2006-12-27T22:59:00.000-08:00

In college and medical school, I was your typical 20-something midwest/southern white boy. Which is to say I couldn't pass The Gap without walking in and buying something. Now in my 30's, I've conquered my Gap addiction. And I have all the pride of someone who replaced their lust for Johnnie Walker Black with a yen for Johnnie Walker Blue. You see, I've merely replaced The Gap with Nordstrom Rack.

I finished my second to last week of work in SF and got over my cold last Thursday. Friday (Dec. 22) I went Bed, Bath, and Beyond to buy a plastic sheet on which to roll out my cookies -- it cost about $9. Unfortunately, I didn't feel that was sufficiently good use of my 20% discount, so I ended up buying 600 thread count sheets. Then I went to the Rack -- just to "see what they had". I didn't need anything, and I knew I wasn't going to buy jeans, because I had just told Sue I was waiting until I got below the 190 lb mark again. Plus I would just have to move anything I bought to San Diego.

Two pairs of Diesel shoes and some grey G-Stars later, I was on my way home.

Today, I went to the dueling targets in Serramonte. I had already packed my gym bag for the cruising work-out at 24 hour on Market Street when I remembered I needed new sneakers. So I went up to the "Rack" on Junipero Serra. I should have left after I found a pair of 12W New Balances. Instead, I remembered a recent wardrobe malfuntion -- I could find nothing to wear with blue jeans because ALL my shirts were blue. A horrific problem not solved by one pair of grey jeans. So what did I buy -- a maroon top, a Yankee's top (BLUE!), and another pair of jeans (BLUE!). But who can pass up Calvin Klein's for $20?

I have not idea why this merited a post, other than the fact that the last couple and the next entries are a bit serious.

Happy New Year!

All We Want For Christmas

2006-12-24T11:26:00.000-08:00

While watching the news shows this morning, I came up with a way Santa can make President Bush and myself (and a few other people) happy with just one gift.

The President wants a "swell" in the number of troops in Iraq. Because this may last for two years or more, he is linking this plan to an increase in the overall size of the Army and Marines. It remains unclear how he plans to achieve this.

While the best data I could Google say that most of the active and reserve services did eventually hit their Fiscal Year 2006 recruitment goals, it required changes in recruiting tactics and incentives. This could work again, but incentives tend to require money, and Speaker Pelosi is now holding the purse strings.

Another option is, of course, the draft. Despite Congressman Rangel's initiatives, this seems unlikely at best. Congress doesn't seem to want a draft (or won't admit it), and the President has always scoffed at asking for one. The only things I see leaning toward a draft are: (1) The last thing the President "ruled out" was the firing of Sec. Rumsfeld; (2) oddly, the Selective Service System recently announced plans to test its draft machinery.

(I found the picture thru Google, but couldn't find appropriate attribution on either of the links given: tenbyfour.blogspot.com or misilay.pair.com/ftp1955/pub/gall.rainbow.jpg. My apologies if it's proprietary.)

What we really need is a new pool of recruits from which to draw. A group of people who might be ready and willing to serve, but haven't been able to do so. Or who have found ways to serve anyway, only to be discharged. I'm not sure allowing gays, lesbians, and bisexuals to serve in the military would solve the problem completely, but it could be a good first step. (Don't start sending arguments that straight people would quit enlisting -- I don't buy them.)

The President could give this gift to himself (like those G-Star jeans I bought yesterday). An executive order from the C-in-C ending discrimination is unlikely to be challenged by a Democratic Congress. Given they just attained a majority by running socially conservative candidates in reddish states, the issue would probably never be allowed to come to the floor. Such a bold move might also allow President Bush's legacy to include something other that Iraq -- namely the "compassionate conservatism" he espoused earlier in his political career. So:

Santa,
For President Bush and me, could your end the discrimination against homosexuals in the military? He'll need an official signed executive order. I'd take a copy in my stocking. Or, if you prefer, a hot guy in uniform who wants to enact this new policy. Thanks.

-- Joel

PS: I like sailor uniforms the best.

Merry Christmas!

In the News

2006-12-16T22:05:00.000-08:00

While driving back from San Diego on Wednesday and cleaning up my apartment on Thursday, I listened to a lot of talk and news radio. I also watched a lot of CNN in my hotel while looking for apartments. There were a few items that struck me for one reason or another, and I'm having a mellow evening in tonight, so I thought I'd share.

www1.va.gov
1) California Health Care -- Some minor conservative bloviatrix was going off on how horrible the legislature's and guber-nator's new plans for expanded/mandatory health care were. When, she asked, has the government ever run a good health care system?
Kudos to the veteran who called in and shut her up with tales of his excellent experiences at the VA. I've worked at VA's and, in general, they provide good care. Many are associated with teaching hospitals, and therefore have faculty, residents, and students from first rate universities. Also, most people who work at VAs could earn more money elsewhere -- but it's hard to imagine anything more rewarding than treating people who defended this country, with the possible exception of treating those who are still on the front lines.
By the way, the biggest knock on the VA system is that there is often a wait for procedures. Guess what -- that's what happens in a system where things are rationed. In the national health care system (or lack thereof), its the largely voiceless poor who have to wait, because we ration on wealth, privilege, and insurance.
For the record, Medicare is also a highly efficient health system, at least by administrative standards. Medicare overhead is only 2% of costs, comparted to >10% in private insurance plans. My biggest problems with Medicare: (1) the unnavigable perscription plan and (2) when the government picks up the tab at 65, there is no incentive for insurance companies to pay for long term preventative measures.

en.wikipedia.org
2) Kareem Abdul Jabar was on a news channel promoting prostate cancer awareness. Great. Then he told everyone to go out and get a PSA checked. Not so hot. Loathe though I am to dispute the omniscience of a celebrity, in this case I prefer the recommendations of the US Preventative Health Service Task Force (you can google it). Neither digital rectal exam (with the snapping glove noise) nor PSA has clearly been shown to decrease mortality as a screening technique. They are probably best used in males over 50, and perhaps African-American males over 45. As with most medical techniques, they are best performed in collaboration (pun completely intended) with a primary care physician who knows your medical history.
Next time you have a basketball star discuss health care, have him or your staff do a little research. And get Dr. J.

www.thebreastcancersite.com
3) The rate of detection of breast cancers dropped. Read that sentence carefully. We are DETECTING fewer. It remains to be seen if there actually ARE fewer, or, more importantly, if fewer women are/will die from breast cancer. I am hopeful that this is good news, but don't get too excited yet. Most of the effects are attributed to the decreased use of hormone replacement, which appeared to speed the growth of some cancers. If, without hormone use, we merely find the cancers later, it may or may not be a good thing. I'm crossing my fingers, though, that some lives are being saved.

www.fortcampbell.com
4) I feel bad for Dr. Laura's son. I believe I've mentioned that I listen to Rush and Dr. Laura as part of my "liberal recon". Usually, I find them hysterical in a "Theatre of the Absurd" kind of way. Sometimes, I hear some points that allow me to better prepare for arguments with the right wing. Occasionally, to my surprise, we agree on something. Sympathy, however, was new.
Laura Schlessinger, PhD (physiology), opens most segments of her show with some form of "I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger, proud mother of an American Solder...Hooah!". So proud that, in answering a caller, she mentioned that her greatest regret in raising her son was that she hadn't home schooled him. Imagine that you are her son, and you hear this. I'd be sitting there wondering what defect my allegedly proud mother had seen in me that made her wish I'd been schooled differently.
You may say that this is a needlessly harsh way for him to take such a comment, but many young (and some older) people hear it exactly thus. (The truth of this was highlighted to me in a conversation the other night.) The fact is, there is no control experiment for our lives. If she's proud of who he is, she's stuck with how he got there. My parents occasionally expressed comparable feelings about things they've done, and I about things they "did to" me. Regrets are a part of human nature, but I think it's safe to say you needn't tell your child, and you shouldn't tell a national radio audience.
By the way -- I don't know Deryk Schlessinger well enough to be proud of him, but I am grateful for his service and protection.

www.state.sd.us
5) "It wasn't a stroke or a heart attack." Sorry, this is an deceitfully consoling statement when the person had an intra-cranial hemorrhage, one of the few things more dangerous than either. It's a bit like saying "He wasn't hit be an M-16 or an AK-47" when you know God Damn well it was Howitzer! Trust me -- the last time I was around a brain hemorrhage, I ran the code and took care of the gentlemen for the first of his months in the ICU.
The comment was made, of course, in reference to Sen. Tim Johnson of South Dakota. For those who aren't following politics, the senate is currently split 49 Democrats, 49 Republicans, and 2 Independents, who by caucusing with the Democrats give them control. If Sen. Johnson were to be replaced by a Republican, the caucus numbers would be 50-50, with the tie-breaking vote going to Vice-President Cheney, effectively giving the Republicans the majority back.
One conservative commentator actually began to discuss the options if "Sen. Johnson were incapacitated, or God forbid, to die..." Fine by him if God allows incapacitation -- how nice. The political issue is that by SD law, the governor, who is a Republican, would get to appoint a replacement if the need arose. Conventional wisdom is that he would appoint a Republican. The commentator actually suggested that Sen. Harry Reid would somehow force Sen. Johnson to stay alive on a respirator, if needed, to keep him alive and prevent a Republican appointment. Didn't the Terry Schiavo case teach these people to stay out of health care?
By the way, I'm hoping for something that seems a given in the politics of a republic, but is tragically rare in the US. That would be someone giving a shit about actual representation. The people of South Dakota elected a Democrat -- so it seems he should be replaced with a democrat. "But they elected a Republican governor, so they must have wanted any replacements to be Republicans!", you cry. Um...right. I've got you twice on this one: (1) I guarantee you that no one was thinking about Senatorial brain hemorrhages when they voted for governor and (2) the best data to show what South Dakotans want in a federal legislator would be the 2006 election, where they sent and incumbent Democrat back to the House of Representatives.
In truth, the appointment I have the most respect for in these cases is the Congressman/woman's spouse -- as in Missouri when Jean Carnahan replaced her husband. Really, what you should want is someone whose actions/representation would be closest to the deceased legislator. Who better than their spouse, who is usually (Clinton's aside) not someone with specific political aspirations of their own?

I think the increase in hits on my blog the past couple of days has to do with my pending guest appearance on Dan-Nation. I'm a little nervous, but looking forward to it. I hope you'll join us -- and continue to check in on my blog occasionally. Have a great night -- I'm off to research a few of the early questions.

I Have Found Me a Home

2006-12-14T09:16:00.000-08:00

Wow -- almost a month since my last blog. Pretty bad, but I've been busy. My last month has been: work, Dad in town, work, find a place to live. I just got back from San Diego last night, and the winner is...the condo.

I decided to rent for a year until I'm sure this is the job for me. After a frustrating Monday, I found three things that I liked on Tuesday: a "Craftsman" house, a townhouse, and a condo. All similar price.

The townhouse fell out of the running early. It was very nice -- lots of room, electric fireplace, garage, new appliances. The problem was that it was antiseptic and lacked character -- grey carpets, off-white walls, boring kitchen. It also had another unit on each side, so light only at the ends. Of the people whose opinions I solicited, none said "Yeah, get the townhouse."

"Craftsman" houses, at least in San Diego, are small ranch style house usually built on a small plot, and usually with a personal of the builder's personality. I really liked the idea of having my own house. This one had a large bedroom, a small bedroom, and a den, with a living room and dining room, which were both small. Also, fairly low ceilings. But a yard, a little porch, and a thousand ways to make it mine. And no one to complain of noise through a wall. The problem was, it was in a slightly less nice (at least appearing) neighborhood, and there was no security.

At six foot/one-ninety-five, I haven't worried about security much. In San Francisco, I'll walk almost anywhere by myself, even at night (though I try to avoid the Tenderloin). But friends of mine have had to change their phone numbers because of stalking patients (and paramours), and I recently had a patient park herself in my foyer screaming she would sue us. I began to get antsy at the thought of arriving to an empty house most nights, sometimes late. I wondered to my father if this was a real problem. He said, "Now that it's in your head, it doesn't matter if it's real. If you're already not going to feel safe there, don't take it." That kicked the house out of the running.

That leaves the condo. It's a honey, and now that the decision is over, I'm starting to settle in and enjoy the thought of it. It's a lot like my current place: balcony, view, fireplace (electric, which seems to be the SD standard), and wood floors. What it lacks a bit in character, it makes up for a bit in modern touches: new steel appliances, whirlpool jets in both baths, mirrors on the closet doors, fireplace with remote, closet organizers, and cable wired in every room. It is also on the top floor (no footsteps above me) of a building about 3 blocks from Urban Mo's (formerly Hamburger Mary's).

Here are the pics -- see what you think. Bonus points, by the way, if you know who sang the tune I stole for the title of this blog.

The kitchen:

The living room:

The master bedroom:

And bath:

The built-in washer/dryer and desk-in-closet in the second bedroom/my office and the guest bath (also with whirlpool jets -- come visit). The view is due west.

(Note: I was going to put the entry way and building shots here, but apparently I'm not over the stalker patient jitters that kept me away from the house yet. Maybe later.)

Southwest view from the balcony. This is supposedly the view of choice from Hillcrest -- you be the judge:

Special thanks to everyone who helped me decide.

A Room with a View

2006-11-16T17:41:00.000-08:00

One of my colleagues gave a talk for a pharmaceutical company last night at the Carnelian Room. It's on the 52nd Floor of the 555 California Street Building. The talk was good, the food was great, and the views were phenomenal. I took a few pictures -- they're taken through glass, but I think they get the feeling of "Wow!" across. They also get across the feeling that I need to get a better camera than my phone.

Looking southwest:

Now with the zoom on City Hall:

And to the southeast:

And zoom on the Bay Bridge:

Wednesday was so nice I couldn't bear to be in the gym. So I just walked around the Wharf/North Beach/Pac-Heights/Marina for a couple of hours before dinner. I happened to be at the aquatic park as the park police were closing it to swimming. I hung out until I got the story -- there is apparently a nippy young seal or sea lion biting swimmers. In the mean time, the sun started to set over the GG Bridge:

Tuesday, I walked to my pool match at the Mix. On the way, I noticed this:

I have yet to find anyone who can tell me why it would be purple and blue for November 14.
As for pool, I won 2 and lost 1 -- a pretty good night for me. My team won, so we advance in the tournament. Go Mix Cocktails!

Murtha v. Hoyer

2006-11-14T16:49:00.000-08:00

Even with the election over, there is still a lot of politics to follow. Yesterday's tidbit was that Rep. John Murtha is going to challenge Rep. Steny Hoyer for the #2 position in leadership of the House of Representatives. Speaker-elect Pelosi (love that) has supported Rep. Murtha.

I tend to think that you "dance with the one who brung ya", so I lean towards Hoyer -- but that's not really my issue. What's cracking me up are the pundits and their litany of:

"Nancy Pelosi shouldn't let this happen"
"Why is she wading into this?"
"No future speaker wants this battle."
"This is a rookie mistake"

Right. This woman just engineered the take over of the House of Representatives as an anti-war liberal from San Francisco. As minority leader, she kept the democrats in lock step and made sure they were positioned to ride the historically predictable wave of discontent. Note that she supported Murtha without telling others they had to do the same. This battle is only happening because she wants it to happen.

Maybe she promised Murtha he could run in return for using his position as a veteran to back her plan for Iraq. Maybe she wants to show Alcee Hastings what happens when old ethics charges dog you. Maybe she wants to show give the newly elected, more conservative democrats a chance to vote. Maybe she wants to use the fight to see where the public stands on Iraq policy. Hell, anythings possible.

Except that Speaker-elect Pelosi wouldn't have a plan.

Addendum

2006-11-10T00:28:00.000-08:00

Add Senator Lincoln Chafee to the list of class acts. After the last post, I went to cnn.com (mostly to see who won the Louisville/Rutgers game) to find that Sen. Chafee (www.ontheissues.com) felt that Tuesday's election did not support the further advancement of Mr. John Bolton as UN ambassador. In some ways I'm glad he lost to a Democrat Tuesday, but kudos to a man trying to represent his constituents instead of advancing his party's agenda. I might vote for him someday given the chance.

By the way, the Rutgers Scarlet Knights took down #3 Louisville 28-25. Fuhgettabouit! (www.sportsillustrated.com) In a week for the underdog, this was possibly the only thing less likely than the Democrats taking BOTH houses of congress. Go Knights -- I hope you make it to the BCS Championship!

Class Acts

2006-11-09T23:19:00.000-08:00

I logged on with a plan in mind for this post, and it's already been sidetracked. I was watching Seinfeld as I logged in, and it turned out to be an episode with a cameo by Derek Jeter. (Photo www.sportsnetwork.com) None of the politicians to be mentioned are as classy (or as clutch, or as hot) as the Yankee's captain, but we must press on...

I tip my hat to Sen George Allen and Sen. Conrad Burns. They lost, they knew it, and they had the class and respect to concede rather than drag the election through weeks of recounts that would not change anything.

Don't get me wrong -- when you win the popular vote, you get to take it to the Supreme Court. And prove that it's all political by making five allegedly federalist judges usurp Florida's right to evaluate its own election. The hypocrisy of this still bugs me, obviously.

I'm hoping for one more class act, and his name is George W. Bush. I have tried on this Blog to be respectful of Mr. Bush and his office throughout serious disagreements. Unlike some folks on the extreme left, I don't think he's evil -- just misguided at times. If you remember 2000, he won as a "compassionate conservative" who wanted to cut taxes, but had more moderate views on other subjects and wanted to be a "uniter". Then he moved into a Washington run by K Street Republicans and ran to the far right with them. Especially after 9/11, when he seemed to feel he had a divine mission.

If you look back at his rise to power in Texas and his "compassionate conservatism", it was largely the result of working with a Democratic legislature. Together, they did some allegedly good things for Texas. I'm hoping President Bush can return to his roots and work with a Democratic legislature to similarly move America forward. Already, he seems willing to work on the minimum wage and immigration, issues on which he had disagreed with the more conservative element of his party. And Sec. Rumsfeld's departure should be seen as an Olive Branch if ever there were one.

It is now up to Speaker-Elect Pelosi and Senator Reid to advance issues for the next two years instead of bludgeoning/investigating the president and his staff in the hopes of improving their chance for victory in 2008. (Sadly, this doctored picture from www.allhatnocattle.net is the only shot I could find of them together.) There is a chance here for real dialog and progress, and shame on any obstructionists from either party. The electorate set the compass Tuesday -- someone just needs to lead us further down the path.

To the Non-Believers

2006-11-08T01:11:00.000-08:00

I was one of you.

I was fairly certain that the Democrats would take over the House of Representatives tonight. Last night I predicted it (on the blog), this morning I voted for it, and this evening I raised a glass to Speaker Pelosi.

But I never really thought we'd get the Senate. As I go to bed, though, we have won in Missouri, and are up in Montana and Virginia. I'm keeping my fingers crossed through the recount. The magic number is 51.

For those of you who wonder if I'm topical, read yesterday's blog. Then look at today's Newsweek cover:

As we said when rooting for the Steelers..."Ya Gotta Believe"

Not so Holy Shit

2006-11-06T19:21:00.000-08:00

"I was raised Catholic."

That's what I usually tell people who ask me about my religion. It conveys my religious/cultural upbringing, as well as letting people know that I don't go to church anymore.
Most people leave it at that, but some keep going:

"But are you still Catholic?"

"I think so, but you might have to ask Pope Benedict," has been my pat answer.

After seeing this piece of trash in USA today I may be leaning towards a flat"No."

This was produced by Catholic Answers Action at www.caaction.com. First of all, I'm not even sure Catholic Answers Action qualifies as a phrase, but this is a minor problem. In 2/3 of a page, they detail "Your Role as a Catholic Voter". Apparently, there are 5 Non-Negotiable Issues:

1. Abortion
2. Euthanasia
3. Embryonic Stem Cell Research
4. Human Cloning
5. Homosexual "Marriage" (Their quotes, not mine)

Needless to say, they are against all of the above. These issues are "intrinsically evil and must never be promoted by law...fundamentally conflict with the moral law and can never be performed under any circumstances".

For each, they cite an argument and a church document. Interestingly, or not, only abortion and euthanasia can quote an encyclical (papal teaching) -- the others cite releases from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (run by Cardinal Ratzinger prior to his elevation -- and oddly, now run by a former SF bishop). None of them -- note NONE of them -- are protected by ex cathedra papal infallibility. For those of you keeping score, the only two infallible teachings are: (1) the Immaculate Conception of Mary (without original sin) and (2) the Assumption of Mary (body and soul) to heaven. The rest is still open for argument and changing with the times.

Before going any further, can we agree that allowing something and promoting something are two different things? Allowing abortion, gay marriage, etc., does not promote them. I usually vote for "pro-choice" (terrible term, by the way) candidates, but it would be the rare circumstance that I wouldn't try to avert, much less promote, an abortion.

On a lighter note, the biblical reference against homosexuality is usually Leviticus 18:22:
'Do not have sex with a man as you would with a woman.' Believe me -- I don't!

As to the issues, it amazes me that the 5 Non-Negotiable issues are things that Jesus never even mentioned. Obviously, there are reasonable extrapolations from His teachings, and this is necessary as times and technology change. There were some bigger issues that He did mention, thought, that the caaction.com conveniently left out of their list. I'll list 3:

1) War
2) Poverty
3) Capital Punishment

They were ready for this, and mentioned these issues at the end of the ad: "There may be a legitimate diversity of opinion evenamong waging war and applying the death penalty, but not howeverwith regard to abortion and euthanasia." This is from a piece by then Cardinal Ratzinger himself, neither an encyclical nor a CDF writing. And it covers only 2 of their 5 points. Poorly.

As to war, there is a Catholic "Just War Doctrine", which does allow violence by a state in certain circumstances. Unfortunately for Catholic Answers Action, Pope John Paul II himself condemned the Iraq War as unjust. As the CAA seems to prefer other voices:

"It is necessary that the community of nations makes the decision, not a particular power...the concept of a 'preventive war' does not appear in the Catechism of the Catholic Church"

Who was this sage? None other than John Cardinal Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict, himself.

As to capital punishment, there may be some wiggle room, but not much. Execution is only appropriate..."in cases of absolute necessity, in other words, when it would not be possible otherwise to defend society. Today, however, as a result of steady immprovement in the organization of the penal system, such cases are very rare, if not practically nonexistent."
--John Paul II.

Oddly, it's from the same encyclical, Evangelium Vitae, the CAA cite for their positions on abortion and euthanasia. Hard to see how they skipped that part. If you'd like a better authority, how about:

"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." Matthew 5:44

Not exactly a ringing endorsement of the death penalty, is it. Or war, for that matter.

In discussing poverty, we'll stay with Jesus for a moment. He loved to discuss poverty -- in the New Testament 1 of every 16 verses is about poverty. (Jim Wallis, God's Politics, p. 212. Good book if you like this stuff) Let's look at that tally of comments by Jesus again:

Abortion = 0
Euthanasia = 0
Stem Cells = 0
Cloning = 0
Homosexual Marriage = 0
Taking Care of the Poor = Thousands

Hmmm. How did poverty not make the non-negotiable list? Must have had a poor lobbyist. In the end though, the arguments above, while to point, are unnecessary. Catholicism is based on the Old Testament and the teachings of Jesus Christ. Jesus wasn't vague about what was important.

"The Lord our God is one Lord; and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength...You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." (Mark 12:28-31)

Combine that with "Do not judge, or you, too, will be judged" (Matt 7:1) and "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone" (John 8:7) and you may just have to re-order your list.

Not judging, BTW, doesn't mean you can't have an opinion, and make it clear with your vote. I, for instance, think that a leopard doesn't change his spots. If you run as a moderate, then run to the right -- only to fail and become a moderate again -- I'm guessing you'll govern from the right again if given the chance. So I'll be voting for someone other than the gubernator, who apparently doesn't think legislation is the right way to change things (like gay marriage).

Happy election day! I'm not sure she best represents the entire democratic party, but here's to my congresswoman, future Speaker Pelosi -- Salud!

Have an Exit Row, as Long as You're Not a Terrorist

2006-11-05T22:16:00.000-08:00

I'm back from Hawaii and back at work this week, so I was planning to say I'd get caught up on my blogging. That was until I had one of the best dates EVER last night. Not that this was too hard, given that the last two include a guy whose somewhat suicidal and one who called me 3 days later to say he was going to "take it to the next level" with someone else. What am I, a Sega game?

I'm hoping to see my gentleman from last night again soon. So this may be all I get to this week.

This trip to Hawaii was for a conference called "The War on Pain". The conference was in Maui, but I wanted to leave open the option of going to Honolulu to look for a place to live if I took the Hawaii job. I originally booked to one-way flights, then changed one of them late. In the end I flew round trip from Oakland to Maui, but apparently I had already raised some flags.

On my flight out of Oakland, I got the full pat down and carry-on bag check. What cracked me up was the way back. I was in line in Maui and an agent asked for my name. When I gave it to her, she said:

"You're on my list. Please step over here."

This time, one of the TSA guys took my checked bag and opened it up to search in front of me. While he was doing this, I heard the agents trying to "open up" a new seat for me, which was odd, given I hadn't asked for a change. I don't know if it was the MD in my reservation (I try not to throw it around, but I'll take any airline perk I can get), but they moved me to an exit row.

Then I got the pat down again on my way through security, and all the explosive checks. BTW - this bothers me NOT AT ALL -- the way I bought my tickets was unusual, and I'm glad they did a little extra checking. Everyone from the airlines and TSA was professional, pleasant, and helpful. And I enjoyed my exit row seat.

A few pictures from the recent Hawaii trips, beginning with Oahu

Sunset from the east side of Oahu:
Mountains on Oahu:
From my window in Maui (the Marriot):
The beach between the Marriot and the Grand Wailea:
Little Beach, the gay/nude beach on Maui. If you try to find it, get good directions:
Sue was is Maui at the same time as I was, and stayed at the Westin. It seemed much more hip than the resorts, and is probably where I would stay if I weren't going to a conference. These are the flamingos (live) from their garden/pool area:

A waterfall in the garden at the Grand Wailea. The place was ridiculous:
Wednesday, I went to Maui's only winery -- it's up toward the crater on the west side of the island. They make pineapple wine, which actually wan't bad. It took me 50' to get there, only to realize that I could see my hotel from the road up. They tell me that it was only 2 miles away, but there were no direct roads through the private property. I think the large white building is the Grand Wailea, where I spent 3 nights.
Don't forget to vote. If you live in California, I suggest voting for a governor who didn't veto a bill to legalize gay marriage. Aloha and Mahalo!

Headed South Again

2006-10-25T23:17:00.000-07:00

As usual, it's been too long since I've posted, and I apologize; but I haven't spent more than 12 hours in town and not working in about a month.

We left our hero (me) with a job in hand in Hawaii, and a possibility in San Diego.

Since then there has been a phone interview, an in person interview, and some reference checks.

Yesterday, I was offerred a job at UCSD. Today, I took it.

I'm going to miss SF, and all my friends here, but I think I need to do this. Y'all can call me Professor Trambley now. And hopefully, some of you will f'ing visit.

I'll try to post the pictures from Hawaii and San Diego soon. I'm not leaving until January, but I'll take Bon Voyages and good wishes at any time.

Time's Up!

2006-10-11T20:28:00.000-07:00

At 1400 PDT it had been one week since I was offered the job in Hawaii. After talking to tons of people (and some of them more than once)...

...I'm not taking it. Yet.

I leave open the possibility that I will end up kicking myself for not taking the opportunity to go to Hawaii. In fact, just thinking about it that way again makes me shudder a bit.

Thanks to everyone who helped me figure this out. The MVP (Most Valuable Perspective) goes to my friend Jean. After listening to me for a bit, he said, "So you found a good job, but it's not the ideal situation. They offered you the job right away, so you're a competitive candidate. And even thought you don't like your job, you still have it, so you have some time."

I agreed.

"So you want a job like the one in Honolulu in a city with a good gay community," he summarized.

Right again.

"So why don't you apply for that?" he asked.

Good question. When I started applying for jobs, I was just looking for a safety net, so I just applied to a couple of things that jumped out at me. I never really hunted. Now, I've decided that:

(1) I want to leave my current job.
(2) I want to work at a teaching hospital
(3) A city with a healthy gay community is important to me, and I'm not sure Hawaii has one.

Yesterday morning, I got on-line and went to UCSD's website. When I got to the Department of Medicine/Hospitalist homepage, the first thing that came up was:

NOW RECRUITING!

I sent my CV, and they sent me back a note today. We're working on a phone interview, and hopefully a return trip to SD. I'm still planning to send my CV to Denver, LA, and Arizona, but I'm excited about the SD prospects. Honestly, I doubt the job itself will be as good, but I'd rather give everything a chance to move forward than sacrifice my personal growth for my job. I already did that, and it didn't work out so well.

BTW - I tried not to completely close the book on Hawaii. I did love the job -- the only issue was gay life in Hawaii. I might feel more comfortable with it if I spent some time there, so I asked for a little longer to decide. We'll see what they say -- I may be headed back for a conference at the end of the month.

39 Hours 26 Minutes and Counting

2006-10-09T22:39:00.000-07:00

I just got back from my Hawaii interview/San Diego softball trip. I'm sitting at the Rogue Brewery, waiting for my friend to deliver my house keys (more on this later), so I'm going to keep this brief.

I went. I interviewed. I got the job.

There was no "Thanks for coming. It was great to meet you."

No, "We're all going to get together in a few days, and we'll give you a call. But everything is very positive. Really."

Instead, I got "I just talked to everyone before you came in, and I want to offer you the position."

Fortunately, he followed it up with: "Don't answer now, because I know moving out here is a big decision for you.:

Unfortunately, he followed that up with: "Let us know in a week." That was about 1100 Wednesday, Honolulu time.

So here's the current thinking:

1) This job knocks the socks off of what I am doing now. I get to teach residents and medical students again. No PA's. Less drama. And I still only work every other week or the equivalent.

2) Having spent the week in Hawaii and San Diego and mulled this over, I think I could leave SF.

3) I'm not sure I should go to Hawaii. The gay culture, by all reports, is not a consistent, supportive, community with a lot going on (softball, pool, Academy of Friends, etc.). It seems to be much more about hook-ups with tourists.
***Please correct me if I'm wrong and make this easier***

4) Dad thinks I should go. Given that he was right about the level of crap I would get from my current job (which he never thought I should take), it's hard not to go with him this time.

Here's a picture of the hospital, which really is PINK. Maybe it's a sign.

And a shout out to RottenRyan for showing me a great time in SD.

Adopted Again

2006-09-27T22:47:00.001-07:00

I love my parents, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. With my week on/week off schedule, I've made it home more this year than I have in ages (unfortunately one trip was for my Grammy's funeral). It's been 15 years, though, since I've actually lived at home in Erie.

During that time, I was in school/residency and rarely made it home more than once or twice annually. This would have been an even bigger drag, except that I've always been the kind of guy that my friends would take on trips home, at least to drive if not to add to the fun. As my friend Bryan said, "I don't have to worry about you having fun. If I put a beer in your hand, by the time I get back my friends will like you more than they like me." Not quite true, but it got him a ride home to New Orleans and time to hook up with his fiance. His other famous quote, after I made tacos and fajitas, was: "You'll make someone a great bitch someday." How did I NOT know?!

Since college, I've accumulated adopted parents is West Nyack, Pittsburg, Chalmette, Slidell, and LA. Last weekend, I think I was blessed enough to add another set.

One of my friends in SF had his parents in town, and granted me the honor of meeting them. I'd already met his siblings, and spoken to his Mom on the phone (on an odd evening), but this was the first time I'd met his parents in person. Since I don't have his/their permission, I won't name names, but his family is geographically and culturally close to my own. We met for drinks near Union Square, and it took me about 30 seconds to feel at home with them.

I saw a visit coming, so I had cleaned up my apartment a bit (not enough) before I left to meet them. We all came back to my place for drinks and to hang. As you may have read, I am having a crisis of employment, and my parents were in Greece and unreachable. My friends parents subbed in nicely, gave me great advice, and, I think, really cared. After drinks on my deck, they took us to dinner in North Beach. Then we had dessert and more wine at their son's pad.

9 straight days of work, job issues, and suddenly feeling comfortable led me to tip back quite a bit of wine. Regrettably, I dropped a few f-bombs in front my friend's folks (much to his chagrin), but they didn't seem to mind terribly. I can tell I respect them and would care what they think, because I'd hate for them to know what happened at Badlands later. Such is life.

I ran into them on the street a couple of days later, and we had another wonderful chat. They demanded to be kept posted on what happens with my job, and gave me even more good advice. Thank God for them -- it gave me a 5 day advance on exactly what my own parents said when they got back from Greece.

They also found out that I, like their son, have a blog. If you're reading this, Mr. and Mrs. ____:
1) Thanks for dinner
2) Thanks for the advice
3) Hope to see you again soon
4) Sorry for the F-bombs

For the rest of you -- adopt your child's friends when you get the chance. Even 33 year olds need to know they have caring family around.

Ummm...Not So Much

2006-09-24T22:16:00.000-07:00

It turns out that if you google my name, you can find this blog. But you first have to weed through 3 pages of research papers and the CVs of my thesis advisors. Given that, I figure its pretty safe to give you the story of my Austin job interview.

I left Wednesday morning and was tired as hell (but happy -- another story for another day). I made it to the airport on time for my flight, and got to sit in Economy plus. Not bad -- an extra head cushion and a comfy amount of leg room.

Once in Austin, I got my rental car, a Chevy Malibu, and was on the road by 4:30. Unfortunately, I was on one of the busiest highways in Austin at rush hour.
After an hour of bumper to bumper traffic, I pulled into the Holiday Inn Express.

As I was checking in, a man in a chair behind me introduced himself as my Austin tour guide/real estate agent. Having only an hour for the tour, I knew I wasn't going to see much. The agent was pleasant enough, but just drove me around suburbia for an hour, stopping at one house. I was amazed by what my proposed salary would buy in Austin (3 bedrooms, patio, 2 car garage, kitchen with island. Mmmm.....kitchen island). The problem was that he kept using words like "professional", "family-oriented", and "quiet" as though they were selling points. Obviously the email I sent saying that I was single, would sacrifice space for style and location, and needed a big kitchen did not have the desired impact. Shoulda gone with "I'm a big ole queer and I want a lair down by the gay bars."

I took a quick shower, shaved, and was knotting my tie when the phone rang, heralding the arrival of my dinner companion, one of the researchers at the company. He said, through a fairly thick accent, "Do you mind the Village Inn? My friend said it was good."

Some of you may be cracking up already. For the rest of you, the Village Inn is a slight, and I do mean slight, notch above Denny's. Plastic menu, no booze, and nothing on the menu over $10. I ordered the most expensive dinner -- the over-cooked, liquid smoked sirloin with french fries. I'm not asking for Ruth's Chris here, but come the f*** on.

One of his colleagues arrived a little late. After we ordered, the grilling began -- and I don't mean the steak. Usually, the pre-interview dinner is meant to let you get to know people and put you at ease. Instead, I got the inquisition. And not about my experience or skills -- they wanted to know why I was leaving medicine, why I would be willing to take a pay cut, and how long I would stay at the job (the one I hadn't been offered yet).

They briefly considered dessert, but figured I "would want to get home and work on my talk". Right. I printed out note pages of my slides and then headed downtown. I was playing pool at The Mix on Tuesday and two people, including Ian of Badlands fame, told me I should go to Oil Can Harry's -- so I did.

Unfortunately, like most gay bars at 2100 on Wednesday, it was dead. But the space had a lot of promise for a fun night out, and it was WARM, evoking pleasant memories of my life in Atlanta. I miss being able to wear shorts comfortably at night.

I had a drink, walked around a bit, and made it back to the hotel by 2300, at which point I did polish off my slides and go to bed.

The next morning was my talk. Honestly, I think I slam-dunked it. I actually remembered all the transitional things I wanted to say in between slides, and I finished in about 40', which is what they had scheduled. They asked some good questions, which usually means they had (1) understood it and (2) been interested.

The next interview was with a group of the younger, i.e., my age, scientists. It was fun, but I was starting to feel in the minority. Of the five scientists I had met, all were foreign nationals -- 4 Asian and 1 Russian/Eastern European. Pleasant enough, but I didn't feel like any of them were going to grab a beer and watch the game with me. Lunch was the best part of the day -- the project managers, who are engineers, took me to a Mexican restaurant called the Oasis that overlooks the lake (or what's left of it -- Austin, unlike me, is having a major drought). I could identify with these folks, and a couple of them even lived downtown and were giving me tips on places to live.
We were late getting back to lunch, so my interviews with the two scientists who had taken me to dinner were cut short. Thank God. Each of them went back to the money, and added an uncomfortable obsession with how much "bench work" I would be willing to do. One of them asked me if I would want to continue to practice medicine (BTW - he also mentioned that he really like the restaurant from the night before -- it was quiet and clean). When I told him I planned to get a Texas license and either moonlight or volunteer, he said, "I think you will be too busy if you take this job. You would not have time for that."

I know they were trying to find out if I would be committed to the job or if I would be leaving after a year or two for the greener pastures of medicine. Asking once, or even twice, would have been OK; unfortunately, they harped on this to the point of being rude. At one point, I actually had to say:

"Money's not all that important to me. I'm looking for a job I will like, and I can afford to take a pay cut if necessary. And given that 2 years ago I was working 100 hours a week, I find the idea that I can't work a full time job and moonlight on occasion laughable."

After that, I met the section head, who was really nice. I asked him why people were asking how much lab work I would do, and he said "I don't know. I don't see you in a lab doing experiments much. We need someone to be our immunology brain in project meetings and tell us what the issues are and how to solve them. The last thing I want to do here is open an immunology lab, and your time is too valuable. At most, we'd have you design an experiment so that we can outsource it." Thank God.

The last interview was with the guy who would be my boss, who went right back to the lab work. Turns out that they only need an immunologist for a few projects. They planned to fill the rest of my time with whatever tasks they needed for other projects. He tried to put a good spin on it, saying the other projects were "challenging" even to his most senior scientists, but the message was clear -- I could end up spending a good amount of my time setting up and running mind numbing assays. We said good-bye pleasantly enough. Then the fun began.

Despite expressing concern for my schedule, the last interviewer kept me until 15:10. My flight was at 16:50, and I had to go all the way across town again, return my rental car, and get to ticketing 45' ahead to check my bag. So I drove like a bat out of hell down 183. I made it, but by the time I realized I might have some time left, there were no more gas stations. So the folks in Austin got stuck with the tab for re-fueling the car at $6.50 a gallon. I felt a little bad, but they did the scheduling.

From the airport, I called the headhunter who had set this all up. I told her I didn't think they knew what they really wanted. She agreed, and said that it was part of the reason she had been unable to decribe the job better for me. I don't think I'll be taking a full time job with them, even if they offer it to me. I did remind her that I only work every other week, and could probably fly to Austin every once in a while to consult. We'll see.

On to Hawaii -- I leave on Sunday. I've never been, and I can't wait. If you know anyone nice there with whom I might have a drink, let me know.

Inside, Outside, Upside-down

2006-09-24T20:57:00.000-07:00

www.digital.library.upenn.edu

As usual, sorry it's been so long. I appreciate those of you who check in regularly -- it makes this all more fun. I'm working on a post with the details of the Austin trip, but I may not finish it tonight. So, to give you something, here's an issue that came up the other night with Bob and Sue.

If you're walking down the sidewalk with your lady (in a broad sense), on which side of her do you stand to be truly chivalrous? Believe it or not, a friend of Sue's ditched a guy largely because he walked to the inside (house/building side) and made her walk on the outside (street).

Believe it or not, I had heard something about this. My memory is that traditional Victorian chivalry dictates that the man walk on the outside, allegedly so that mud splashed by passing wagons would not hit the lady.

Despite this, I've heard more recently that it is now more chivalrous for the man to walk on the inside. Why? Because the threat of muggings now outweighs the threat of splash, and most dangers come from the houses, doorways, and alleys on the inside.

Ask.com led me to a number of sites, and the majority still put the man on the outside. What do y'all think?

Now what?

2006-09-14T23:00:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the suggestions on the jobs and relocation. Seems like Austin is the choice of the blogosphere. Unfortunately, things got more difficult today, so I may need more advice.

It appears that my artfully placed requests for letters of reference and the hints I dropped about my interviews have finally hit the mark. Our negotiator called me today to say that my contract was on his desk. He's going to look it over, then give it to me. Unless things have changed since the "dummy" I saw, it says I have to give them 90 days notice if I am leaving (if I sign it).

If they had done this two months ago, or even two weeks ago, I would have been thrilled and signed it; however, I've started to enjoy the idea of a different job. It may have been a defense mechanism to prepare myself if they screwed me, but I've at least half convinced myself it's time to move on to the next phase.

This leaves me in a bit of a bind. I will NOT cancel the Austin interview since it's next week, and I really have until October 1 to sign the contract, so that shouldn't be a problem. I am not sure, however, what to do about the Hawaii job if I get an interview. Should I:

1) Ditch the Hawaii option
2) Sign the contract, and break it if I need to (there are ways)
3) Sign the contract, take the interview, but tell them I couldn't start until January 1. (This one feels the most honorable to me.)

Further, should I apply to the Denver and Arizone jobs I saw last night? What about Emory?

This would probably really bother me, except that I had a date with WCB tonight, and he likes me. Lord knows why, but it feels good.

Worked Over

2006-09-13T21:29:00.000-07:00

www.jdhodges.com

"Don't take that job. They don't have their shit together."
--Dad

I'm 33. Why does my father still have to be right all the time?

I currently work at a private hospital in SF. Due to somewhat antiquated laws, I can't be hired by the hospital, even though it's the only place I work. Instead, I work for incorporated group of physicians who contract with the hospital. Actually, to be allowed to have benefits, I work for a medical association that subcontracts to the physician group that contracts to the hospital. You get the idea -- there are a lot of business people involved.

Doctors, as a rule, are terrible business people, and should hire others to handle the money. Wise doctors hire good business people. My group is not wise.

When I finished my residency and was looking for work, I heard about my current job. I signed a letter of intent, then waited for my contract. They dragged their feet, and tried to give me a contract and demand that I sign it that day. Then they refused to make any changes in the contract, since they didn't have time to get it to the lawyers. (At about this point, my father opined as above). In the end, I had to work as a locum tenens for almost a month before I was a full hire.

Shortly after I was on board, the business people had a meeting with all the recent hires. They listened to us, and promised things like this wouldn't happen again. (You see where this is going.)

I have dealt with changes and shortages of staffing, growing pains with the nursing staff, and strife in my group. All the while, I generally enjoyed my job, and thought I did it fairly well. There was a big hullabaloo about the specialists' long term contracts, so I didn't hear much about mine until late spring. In June, our chief negotiator said mine was on the way. In July, he said it was on the way. Upon returning from a vacation July 28, I found in my mailbox not a contract with the promised raise and changes, but a piece of paper asking me to work for the same salary for two more months.

I refused to sign it, and no one seemed to care until August 1, when I was no longer officially employed. In a meeting that morning, the head of our group started to talk about recruiting new physicians. I made an audible "Pppphhhllbbtttt" sound.

"Yes, Joel?"

"Sorry, but I don't see how you can talk about recruitment when you can't even keep the people you have," I said.

Not knowing what was up with my contract, he said "What do you mean?"

"Well, my contract ran out yesterday. If I go over to the hospital today, I don't know if I will get paid. But I can deal with that. I don't know if I'll get benefits, and I can deal with that, too. But since my malpractice insurance is through [the group] and I'm no longer a contracted employee, I'm not sure I have malpractice insurance. So I can't work today."

"You don't have a new contract?" he asked.

"No. They want me to sign a two month extension, not a contract, and I refused."

To his credit, the head of my group flew into action, and the Chief Medical Officer (CMO) was meeting with me in our negotiator's office by 11:00 AM. The problem was, she offered nothing but her word that I would eventually receive back pay (she wouldn't even put it in writing). I mentioned that they had already held a meeting to promise this wouldn't happen again, and I suggested that if we could extend the contract by changing the dates, we could also change the salary. Or, I proposed, we could add a signing bonus to the extension that made up the salary difference (since she allegedly intended to give it to me). She said "the lawyers" would not allow either.

Unfortunately, I've played enough Hold'Em to know that you won't win if you can't afford to lose. Since it takes a month or more to get privileges to work at a new hospital, and I had neither job applications sent nor two months salary in the bank, I coudn't really quit. In the end, I left the room with a promise that my senior colleagues would make up my salary if they try to screw me, my new contract would include retroactive malpractice tail coverage (long story), and the CMO would try to get me a contract in one month instead of two.

I'm pretty pissed that I put myself in that position. Now it's mid-September, a month and a half-out, and I still am without a contract. I sat in a meeting last night with the CMO, during which contract issues were discussed. She offerred no information about mine. My problem is not actually the money -- I'm doing fine; but as a rule, I don't work for people who show me so little regard. It's hard to argue that you're surprised when a 1 year contract ends.

I do learn from my mistakes, though, and I have a couple of job interviews scheduled. As Mr. Scott quoted, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." My biggest problem now is that I'm not sure I'm ready to leave SF, but I don't have another job offer here. The two leaders are a research job in Austin, Texas and a hospitalist job in Hawaii.

home.austin.rr.com

I'm actually starting to get excited about the latter -- it would be working as a civilian at a army teaching hospital. A number of the men in my family have been in the military, and I have a lot of respect for the armed forces. I've thought about enlisting to serve as an MD for a couple of years, but I'm finally enjoying myself after 20+ years of confusion/closet, and I'm not very good at hiding things. This job almost seems like fate telling me to put up or shut up, and, let's face it, living in Hawaii may not actually be a "sacrifice".

www.epa.gov

I'm also thinking that I should apply for a job at Emory. I've always wanted to go back, but I didn't want to burn bridges by applying before I was serious. Part of me thinks that if I'm going to move, it might as well be back to Atlanta.

www.registrar.emory.edu

So, what do you think, Blogosphere? To paraphrase Jo Dee Messina, "Heads Austin, Texas, Tails Honolulu." Please send opinions, or any information you have about living in these areas. I can use the help.

Two quick side notes:
1) I've been watching the season finale of "Blade: The Series" while typing. I've been infatuated with vampires since the series "Cliffhangers" when I was a kid. Now, I'm infatuated with the hot Asian guy in the tight white shirt who works with Blade. Since he's not a vampire, perhaps he sucks things other than blood.
2) The gent who sent me flowers (who recently took me out) just sent me an e-mail with "A Song for Employees Suffering Mistreatment". I shit you not.

Still Here

2006-09-12T00:01:00.000-07:00

I hate to admit it, but I was spooked. Last week, I heard about an Al Queda communique that included a threat from a former Californian. Then, I saw a bunch of tape on a street in North Beach with marker writing urging me to repent and convert to Islam, because the end was near.

Given that San Francisco is a major financial center, and that we indulge in many forms of (alleged) sin, I've been afraid that someone might try to hit my city today. I didn't ever think it was likely, but I was on edge all day. In short, I'm glad the 5th anniversary of 9/11 has come and gone.

I think a shout out is in order to all of the people who have kept us safe for the past 5 years. President Bush probably had someting to do with it, but I think the gratitude mostly goes to people whose names we'll never know. Thanks.

I'm just going to leave you with a shot of the TransAmerica tower, which I'm glad still towers over the San Francisco skyline, fog or no.

A Perfect Day

2006-09-07T19:37:00.000-07:00

ESPN recently finished showing the Top 3 "Webgems" from every Major League Baseball team. This morning, they showed the best of the best as the Top 10 Webgems of all time.

Were I to rank my Top 3 Labor Days, followed by the Top 10 Days of all time, September 4, 2006 would probably make both lists.

Kel from Who Threw That Ham At Me? and I were at a happy hour plotting a hang-out and started discussing wine country. As we were firming up plans last weekend, Michael from Try Not To Panic expressed an interest in going. Chad Fox couldn't make it, but gets a shout-out here for introducing me to both these guys.

I like my baby to be pretty when I start a road trip, so I got her an Ultra-Wash.

They always miss a couple of spots near the vents on the hood, but they do a pretty good job for the price.

I picked the boys up at Kel's around 11:30, put on the country music, and we were on our way. Despite my fears of Labor Day and Bay Bridge closure traffic jams, we made it to Healdsburg in just over an hour. For those who don't know me, I'm over Napa, and mostly over Sonoma. Great wineries for sure, but I think the wine farther north can be just as good, the people are much more fun, and the tasting price (free) is right. (My exception to this is when friends from out of town want to do a tour -- I think some of the Napa wineries are a little better.)

J Winery was our first stop as they have great wine, pair it with food, and we hadn't eaten lunch. It was a gorgeous day, and we availed ourselves of the outdoor special of wine, cheese, and meat. They planned to serve us their Brut, a Chardonnay, and two Pinot Noirs, but brought out a third Pinot at Kel's request. I didn't request the ogle-worthy waiter, but I certainly enjoyed both him and the third Pinot. The meat on the tray with the cheese wasn't bad either. I always forget to take pictures, so I made my companions pose.

Our next stop was Camellia Cellars, where they make, IMHO, some of the best red wines in California. I forgot the pictures this time, but here is one from their website:

The man on the right is Bruce, who always doles out good wine and good conversation. This time, he even gave me a taste of 2005 Petit Syrah, which currently has too high an alcohol content for production. It tided me over nicely until we got to Hop Kiln, especially given that Michael volunteered to be our DD. It's nice to have a car that others want to drive. Thanks again, Michael.

Hop Kiln makes some nice wines, especially their Thousand Flowers white, but I mostly take people there because "I like-a da sauce". They have a smorgasbord of pestos, mustards, and dessert toppings. I like the Cognac Pepper Mustard and Pinot Chocolate Sauce seen here, but Michael fell in love with the Pumpkin Sauce.

Davis Bynum was our next stop. My two favorite pourers weren't there, but I thought Kel and I had a good time. After looking at some rarely seen footage of me, though, it seems that I had a good time and Kel fell asleep:

Our last wine stop was Locals, a tasting room in Geyserville. Again, my two favorite folks were absent, so we tried a number of wines but didn't linger. Since the sun was still shining, we decided to drive over to "The 1", AKA the Pacific Coast Highway. There's something soothing about the ocean, and John Denver said it best: "Sunshine, on my shoulders, makes me happy." It's hard to imagine anything more beautiful than the right day in California, but you can judge for yourself.

Michael drove us back to "The 101" as the sun set and Kel and I reprised favorites from my country mix. We were a hungry bunch when we arrived in SF, so we parked the car and headed to Espetus. What could please the three of us more than a place where the meat just keeps on coming. Like J, Espetus too had an ogle-worthy waiter. His inability to slice the meat correctly (and his pink shirt) made him that much cuter.

After dinner, Kel and Michael went home. I had the next day off, so I went to Badlands, sad to say. I had a bottle of water and a chat with Charlie, AKA "The Whoooh Guy". It didn't take long to realize that I was unlikely to meet a boy worthy of the day, so I packed up a smile and a bunch of wonderful memories and headed home.

Here's hoping your Labor Day was as good!

Not my day

2006-08-30T21:49:00.000-07:00

scrubs-tv.com

I think the universe is getting me back for my Pluto sympathy, so I'm just going to vent for a second.

For those of you who didn't read the header: I am, in fact, a doctor. Specifically, I am a hospitalist (internal medicine, in-patients only) for a liver transplant service. My service exploded over the weekend, so I have been busy as hell all week. But that's not enough to make me spend a blog venting.

By 1200, I had told 3 people they weren't getting liver transplants any time soon. By 1600 today, I was finishing rounds and was almost spent, with only 3 patients to go. At which point one of my patients decided to bitch me out for not seeing her earlier, and for not making a firm diagnosis faster. I took a deep breath, calmed her down, and saw my last 2 patients. Then her husband called to yell at me for half an hour. But that's not enough to make me spend a blog venting.

I finally made it home, had a glass of wine (ironic given my job, but I've gotten over it), and turned on the tube. Scrubs was on, and I hadn't watched it for a while. Scrubs is the only TV show about medicine that I enjoy -- it's funny, and it's the most reflective of real medicine, except that real residents don't get laid that often. As I settled in, the universe bitch-slapped me with an episode about transplant patients. Dying. It's a sad day when watching Scrubs isn't mindless fun. Thus the venting.

Thankfully, I have Friday off. If you're in SF, I'll probably be out with a vengeance tomorrow night. Kel, you better be ready.

Is Pluto Gay?

2006-08-30T00:36:00.000-07:00

Have y'all been following this?

When I was in elementary school/high school/college physics, there were always nine planets. I had to memorize them in order from the Sun (Sol) out: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, (asteroid belt), Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto.

Suddenly, based on a a recent meeting, Pluto is no longer a planet. It's a "dwarf planet". Newsweek suggests, through his wife, that its discoverer, Clyde Tombaugh, would have agreed. Apparently it originally filled some mathematics that can be filled otherwise, and it shouldn't be a planet since it invades the orbit of Neptune (simplification).

I feel a certain kinship with Pluto. I thought I knew who I was for 26 years. Then, all of the sudden (or so it seemed), I realized (accepted) that I liked boys. Then all hell broke loose.

I hope Pluto enjoys its new identity as much as I've enjoyed indulging my fairly recent homosexuality. You go dwarf planet! Just because you're not what we thought you were doesn't mean you don't have gravity!

Where's Marin?

2006-08-27T22:04:00.000-07:00

This is the view from my deck this evening. A cloud line is nothing new, but it's rare that it so sharply divides Alcatraz and Marin.

This is the zoom from my Sony Ericsson Camera Phone. When I got it, there were no better camera phones out there. Now, I want a new camera and that phone with the MP3 player.

Here are a couple of shots from my deck and my street, from days you can better see the hills of Marin.

Have a great Monday!

Fat --> Thin --> Gay

2006-08-25T19:36:00.000-07:00

You will notice that pictures of me are rare on this blog. My profile picture is from the Gay.com bus-ride during Pride 2005 (none of my friends like it), and the more recent one Sue took because of the shirt.

Basically, I have rarely liked a picture of me. I think this is largely because I used to be quite fat -- I weighed about 250 through late high school until my third year of undergraduate. (If you think I don't like my pictures because I'm but-ugly, keep it to yourself). Then I found athletics, kung fu, and got depressed over a woman. Yes, I said woman. A hot red head who had taken ballet and modern dance. When she did a chair dance, you wanted to be the chair. If you didn't, you'd have to be a 12 on the Kinsey scale.

www.kinseyinstitute.com

Keep reading -- this is not a pity party for me. I'm going somewhere.

Background the first:
In my own discussions with the boyz, it seems this is not an uncommon theme. A surprising number of gay men I have met, and friends of friends whom I have not met, were large at some point in their lives. Or, as James Gumm would say, "a great big fat person". Or as my Mom and Sears would say, "Husky".

This is incredibly interesting to me from biological point of view and I'd love to study it. I can already imagine a myriad of reasons why being fat could be related to homosexuality: genetic, environmental, hormonal (fat cells definitely can change hormone levels).

Hold that thought.

Background the second:
There is an obesity epidemic in this country (which Jeff of Well This Is Just It claims to have joined on the affirmative side with this stock choices). It's bad enough that adults are overweight, but what kills me are the children.

I once took care of a 60 kg, 7 year old boy who was already suffering from sleep apnea and pulmonary hypertension. They're both life threatening conditions, but Gramma kept given him the candy. Sleep apnea can also affect the cognitive ability of children -- this has been known for so long we call these children "Pick-wickian" based on the Dickens character.

home.planet.nl

We've been on this since the Gubernator (Ah-Nold) was the head of the President's Council on Fitness, but were losing the battle. Threats of early diabetes, amputation, blindness, and arthritis haven't gotten rid of the twinkies.

A Modest Proposal

We need a new attack. Something parents would really fear...homosexuality. Check out the following map of the epidemic.

www.surgeongeneral.gov

You will note that obesity is centered in some of the traditionally less tolerant parts of the country. Which do you think would work better:

a) "Mr. Hutt, if your son is obese, he is more likely to be diabetic."; or

b) "Mr. Hutt, if your son is obese, he is more likely to be gay."

If you picked "a", you have an attractive optimism about people and I like you. I think "b" is more likely, which puts me in a gut twisting conundrum. Prove that child/teen obesity leads to homosexuality to decrease the incidence of obesity -- through homophobia. How Machiavellian!

Disclaimers (before you send hate mail):
1) Losing weight is difficult, and I still have a few pounds to go.
2) While this is all somewhat true, it is written in the spirit of the satirist below (except that he would have skipped the disclaimers). Read the original Modest Proposal if you haven't -- you'll probably lose your appetite.

www.amazon.com

Smell-o-vision

2006-08-24T22:05:00.000-07:00

These arrived at my office yesterday, when I was off work. Since the internet still doesn't carry smells, you'll have to imagine the scent of orchids and roses.

They're from someone I got to know a little at the Gay Softball World Series in Ft. Lauderdale last week. More on that later. It is, of course, a little scary. It's too early in this to be sending flowers. It's WAY too early to be sending roses. And...

Screw it. It just feels good to get flowers from a guy who likes me. No one has ever done that before -- I actually started dropping things when the staff asked who sent them. It beats the hell out of this poster, also in my office, that my colleague thought I should have for some reason.

My admirer also threw my first real surprise birthday party while I was in Ft. Lauderdale. I think he deserves a date.

A Tale of Two Sittings

2006-08-22T18:46:00.000-07:00

(www.charles-dickens.org)

This is my first blog on demand. After reading the Red Hot posting, my colleague and #1 fashion consultant begged me to write the foreshadowed post about the person who doesn’t do his research. The person in question is her BOYFRIEND (he is – deal with it, Hon). Since she takes pictures, tells me I’m cute, and plays a starring role, I thought I’d comply. I’m getting bored with calling her my colleague, but she’s not ready to be named directly on a blog. Let’s call her Sue because it’s quick to type.

It was the best of times…

Sue had recently started dating someone. After interrupting many a text conversation, I met him over cosmos at Sue’s place while we were playing hooky from a meeting on our day off. He’s a great guy, and we had a good time.

(www.itsfinished.com)

Sue had already told me that Bob had a gay friend. Since SHE had a gay friend, and HE had a gay friend, they naturally assumed that we would meet and hook up, since any two gay men within 10 feet of each other have to f---.

Actually, Sue and Bob weren’t that bad about it, but it amazes me how many people will set up any two gay people without discussing anything else they might have in common. Have you ever said, “I have a straight male friend you should meet”? OK, this is often said to women in San Francisco, but nowhere else.

As part of this, Sue and Bob wanted to have their first Castro outing. The plan was to meet for dinner at The Sausage Factory and then go out for drinks. The three of us arrived, got a table in the back, and had a drink. My blind date (we’ll call him Chris) showed up before our first drinks were gone, well within the fashionably late range.

He may not actually be the cutest guy in the world (WCB and Wentworth Miller are right there with him), but he was almost exactly my type. Gorgeous smile. At one point he said, “I have the best dentist.”

“Obviously”, I said.

He kept talking for a second, paused, and flashed the pearly whites. Then, with a hint of a blush and awww…shucks head tilt, he said “Thanks”. Joel, you sly devil.

I could have stared at that smile for hours, but then he couldn’t have talked much, and it turns out he’s a GREAT conversationalist. We quickly left the first date approved topics (e.g., weather, entertainment, work) and launched into politics, values, and religion. It turns out he’s also from western PA, so we matched up pretty well. We even shared some of our entrees.

After dinner, we headed out for drinks. We stopped in at the Mix to hang out on the patio (and show off the fact that I have friends). Bob wanted to take Sue dancing, so we got in line at The Café, thinking that Sue wouldn’t be the only woman there. Unfortunately for us, The Café is now Boy Bar on Fridays. We bailed and went for more drinks at Lime.

(www.lime-sf.com)

…It was the worst of times

The level of flirtation rose in proportion to our Blood Alcohol Levels. By drink two, I occasionally found it necessary to grab Chris’s leg at particularly stirring moments in the conversation. He didn’t seem to mind. By drink three we were pretty much in eye-lock -- partially out of interest, and partially to avoid intruding on our straight friends, who were necking. The breeders bought Chris and I one last round and left for home. By now we had joined the mutual admiration society and had the big shovels out:

“You look like you work out.”

“I do, but I’m still too fat.”

“No, you’re not. You’ll hate me, but I can’t ever seem to put on weight.”

“You don’t need to put on weight. You’re gorgeous now.”

Yada. Yada. Yada.

Then a speechless moment and a stare right out of Casablanca…and a brief, sweet kiss with lips barely brushing…and then...CUT!

Suddenly, Chris drew back, and gave me a strange look.

“Conflicted, you appear,” I assessed, doing my best Yoda imitation.

“That’s a good way to put it.”

“Why are you conflicted?” Y’all know what’s coming. I did.

“Ummm…I have a boyfriend.”

(www.tvsquad.com)

This led to a discussion about the man and the relationship that was probably far longer than necessary. Then, despite the above revelation, he took my phone number and gave me his, spying into my display to ensure I spelled his first AND last name right. Then he said he still wanted to get together to take Sue and Bob to El Rio Sunday.

We parted ways after 0200 outside of Lime. By 0202, Sue had a text with the relevant summary and I was on my way home in a cab.

EPILOGUE
Naturally, the events were discussed quite a bit at work the next week. Sue, now known as the Yenta From Hell, took it well. And she did a little digging. Turns out Bob did not know Chris had a boyfriend – he just assumed he didn’t because he hadn’t when they worked together and he hadn’t mentioned anything. Also, it turns out that Chris may not have know it was a set up – apparently Bob just said they would meet for drinks and Sue and I would be there. Then, later, he changed it to dinner. Bob also apparently met the BF, and thinks he a nice guy, and, not surprisingly, a big white guy.

Even I have trouble putting a positive spin on this. Most people say he’s not worth it, because he went on a set up when he had a BF. Even those willing to consider that he didn’t know it was a set up think he probably realized it at some point, should have mentioned the BF much earlier, and probably left with Bob.

Send along you opinion, especially if you can rationalize a way that I can date him should he become single. IOFD, For my part, I’ve chucked logic and texted him a couple of times. He returned the second one, but we haven’t spoken.

People say there’s someone out there for everyone. It’s supposed to be encouraging. No one thinks about how it sounds when you think you’ve met that person, but been a victim of timing. It sucks!

Red Hot

2006-08-12T20:36:00.000-07:00

(Editor's Note: If the timing on this seems a little weird, it's because I started it Thursday, but got distracted by Kel and the meme. On with the show...)

One of my colleagues and I keep changing our schedules, so I had an unexpected day off. No reason not to spend some of it blogging. This theme came to mind for at least a triad of reasons, so I thought I’d roll with it.

Red Hot Terror Alert
Unless you were under something this week, you probably know that the terror alert was raised to Red for flights from Britain to the US, and Orange in general. (I’d like to thank my former governor, Tom Ridge, for this high tech nomenclature.) Great job to everyone involved in stopping this threat. It may or may not have had something to do with recent policies, but I’m not going to give President Bush all of the credit. It would be better if we were also working on policies that made people want to attack us less.

It frightens me, though, that the idea of liquids and gels being combined to make an explosive, detonated by wiring from a “personal electronic device”, is some kind of epiphany. Have you ever heard of plastic (plastique) explosive? I guess those little cloths rubbed on some of the carry-ons are supposed to pick it up, but I ain’t buyin’. Liquids are an even less shocking form of combustible given that we apparently busted someone planning to do something similar in 1993.

By the way, I don’t think keeping all liquids out of carry-on bags will end the threat. Planes harbor many items that are inherently combustible. One of my own scary thoughts – oxygen. I fly cheap, and happened to be in the back stowing my carry-on when I noticed a tank of what appeared to be compressed oxygen on the plane. Presumably the very one that supplies the oxygen for your mask “in case of a sudden drop in cabin pressure”. If you are near that with anything with which you can make a spark (say a flint neckless charm and your Fossil STEEL watch) you now have a bomb. I hope the airlines see this and hide/lock that thing before the FBI comes to my door for writing this. Unless, of course, they want me to think of strange dangers – I am a chemistry major with a warped mind. Don’t get me started on the possibilities of presricption nitroglycerine. They’ll serve you the water – someone would just have to get the sulfur/sulfuric acid on the plane.

I’m looking less forward to my flight to Ft. Lauderdale on Sunday, but I’m going. Early. And Delta better not price gouge me for beverages now that I can’t bring them with me (they’ll be in the doghouse with USscare).

For the record, I’d have the government eliminate carry-on baggage before I’d have them tap my phone. “Anyone who trades liberty for security deserves neither…” – Benjamin Franklin.

Red Hot Country
The heat wave continues in some parts of the country (www.accuweather.com). Given the discussion above, I want to point out something. I would bet that heat-related deaths in the past five years are on the same order of magnitude as deaths in the WTC attacks. Which makes global warming as big a threat as global terrorism. Unlike global terrorism, thought, it is a threat we can each do something about. To start, we can save some energy – walk more, turn off lights, and support renewable energy sources. In November, we can speak at the ballot box. I’ll stop here, since I can’t get holier than Thou until I chuck the Mustang for a Prius, which will not happen until the Prius gets a lot better looking.

Let’s take a moment here for those who could do something personal about terrorism and did. To the folks from United 93, the NYPD, and the FDNY, and their families – Thanks, and we forgot you too fast. Once upon a time, there was talk of making September 11 a holiday, possible called Patriot’s Day, to honor the men and women who aren’t in the military (Memorial Day and Veterans’ Day) but who risk their lives for this country. I’m all for it.

Red Hot – Me (and Him)
On a happier note, I went to my new Starbucks this morning to get some work done. I didn’t see WCB at first, but he was in the back room and came out later. He chatted with me for a while, and told me he was recently promoted. He then started introducing me to other staff members – apparently he had “told them about me”, and they kept him up to date when I had been there in his absence. We then tasted some coffee – apparently he has to become familiar with all of the coffees so he can help match customer palates.

When I had to go, I said “I’ll see you this weekend. I’ll come by on my way to work.”

Sadly, he replied, “I have this weekend off. Maybe next week.” At that point, I had to remind him that I would be gone a week for the World Series of Gay Softball. So he said, “Then when you get back. Maybe we could go somewhere.”

“I’d ask you to coffee, but that seems silly." Joel, you old smoothie.

“No, coffee’s a good place to start. I’ll still go for coffee, even on my days off.”

So, I think I have a date pending with the World’s Cutest Barista. By the way, I saw his last name today, and it’s less likely that he’s Brazilian. Besides, that information was only from one source, whose been known to do sketchy background research in the past (a future blog).

Other reasons I feel Red Hot:

I was the MVP of the Cardinal Sins softball team – thanks guys and gals!
My butt and legs were being complimented by a number of hot people Sunday (I am a sucker for compliments about anything involving my physique).
My colleague took this picture of me. I'm not so sure it's so great, but my colleague loved it, and she's my #1 fashion consultant. And yes, the shirt is cheesy, but I loves me some cheese.